Friday, October 07, 2016


Ruta Sepetys once said, ~Sometimes there is such beauty in awkwardness. There's love and emotion trying to express itself, but at the time, it just ends up being awkward.~ Without a doubt, it's a considerably hard enough situation indeed when it comes to the dating scene; but its even harder when you find yourself in an incredibly awkward moment or should I say moments that can most definitely be deemed utterly embarrassing. It's those moments where you can fondly look back on it now as a whole and laugh but at the time you just wanted to forget it every happened to you altogether. For it's a type of awkward embarrassment in which there may have been an attempt to smooth it over only to create an even bigger awkwardly embarrassing situation in how it first started off to be regarding a certain someone of interest. Essentially, the following two choices can be made: 1.) stop and start over. OR 2.) continue talking yourself into a much deeper metaphorical hole you're digging.

If you think about it, there is a seemingly unspoken agreement between our brain and mouth to cooperate with each other. You see, in every day life the information we've taken the time to formulate and carefully structure in our head is sent to our mouth then clearly articulated out loud. However, that's not the case as the cooperation between one's brain and mouth suddenly falls apart to where one's own mouth decides to go rogue when matters of the heart are involved. In other words, blurting out the first thing from our mouth in a very unpredictable way. Of course, in your head you'd gladly take that opportunity to use an MIB neutralizer to wipe any memory of what just happened to start over but you can't. Instead, you continue on hoping you don't do or say anything stupid again inevitably digging yourself deeper into the metaphorical hole of awkward embarrassment. I think it's safe to say we've all been in a situation where we knew what we were going to say only to find ourselves saying to him/her something so incoherently confusing it literally caused our face to cringe while standing there.

As I said before, the cooperation between our brain and mouth suddenly falls apart in the presence of a guy/girl you're genuinely interested in due to one's mouth deciding to go rogue. Thinking about it further, the unpredictably of one's mouth going rogue or as I like to refer to it sometimes as experiencing an unfortunate brain fart can put a damper on in trying to make a great first impression. Furthermore, it sets the tone to where the atmosphere can be either absolutely relaxing or uncomfortably awkward. True, being nervous plays a tremendous factor as so many thoughts are running through one's own head to the point where you end up verbally stumbling over words each of us normally say on a semi daily basis without any problems whatsoever. Personally speaking, I recall a situation involving meeting someone and I was mentally prepared to greet this woman and introduce myself. Needless to say, my brain shut down and I was so nervous standing in front of her that I got tongue tied messing up my own name. The urge to run did cross my mind as I freaked out in my head but I didn't.

Let me ask you this question to those who have experienced in the past or recently experienced a very awkward dating situation with a guy/girl, were you able to turn it around in your favor? Oftentimes, the ability to have a sarcastic sense of humor and be self deprecating can turn an awkwardly embarrassing first meeting into a memorable moment where laughter along with easy flowing conversation that's not forced is shared. Granted, it's not always necessarily the case evident by the unfortunate awkward first date horror stories that have been shared with me over the years. In any case, if a guy can genuinely make a woman laugh and smile by using that awkwardness he's feeling to their advantage there's a safe bet a truly deep appreciation will be felt putting her at ease not knowing she's possibly experiencing the same exact awkwardness as well. What it primarily comes down to is simply taking a moment beforehand to just close our eyes and take several deep breaths to calm ourselves.

In retrospect, experiencing awkwardness in the pursuit of love/true love will never not be part of the dating scene. Yet, it's how each one of us deals with and are able to learn what we've embarrassingly said or done in the past that can positively turn a regrettable memory into a hopefully unforgettable one. For the most part, we shouldn't take ourselves too seriously but at the same time be polite and respectful. In addition, trying too hard in breaking the tension will build it up more thus creating an increase in uncomfortable silence whereby both of you are in a desperate mental search for a topic to discuss in order to salvage a date deemed an already epic failure. In the end, we're always going to experience awkwardly embarrassing situations in regards to living the single that have us experiencing those unfortunate facepalm moments; but it will be well worth it my friend as they'll individually lead each one of us to eventual true happiness.

No comments: