X Factor

Claire Betita de Guzman once said, ~I think you can fall in love many times, and it depends on what stage you are in life. Your soulmate requirements or dealbreakers change with you.~ Let me ask you this question to those living the single life in regards to the dating scene, what is considered a dealbreaker for you when it comes to a particular guy/girl in question you’re interested in? For its an interesting situation indeed at what men and women look for in the opposite sex pertaining to the positive qualities that make him/her absolutely attractive. However, the qualities deemed as negative can certainly be viewed as reasonable or unreasonable turn offs to the point where it completely overshadows any interest whatsoever in establishing a relationship.

Without a doubt, each one of us has a metaphorical or in some cases a literal box to check off regarding not only a list of emotional and mental attributes involving a potentially worthwhile relationship, but the physical attributes as well. Oftentimes, its the physical attributes of a person like their eyes, smile, hair, broad shoulders, in shape/fit, muscular, height/tall, being well groomed, etc. are considerably essential when checking off the boxes on one’s own relationship criteria checklist. In other words, being visually stimulated by an individual from head to toe who you’re head over heels for is quite possibly the total package solely based on their initial first impressions of him/her.

As I said before, the qualities deemed as reasonable and unreasonable turn offs can completely overshadow any interest whatsoever in establishing a relationship. Thinking about it further, dating is all about the journey of discovering the uniquely idiosyncratic characteristics that from a certain point of view are either adorably peculiar or oddly disconcerting. Man hands, hobbit feet, dumbo ears, webbed feet, lazy eye, weird laugh, lacks sense of humor, bad texter, picky eater, teeth smacker, being vegan, close talker, etc. are just a list of things guys/girls do their best in trying to overlook it. Yet, it's viewed as such an overwhelming distraction that the relationship itself ends before it ever even begins.

For the question that can be asked to those who went through a number of bad dating experiences, what were some of the major red flags that went off for you that were considered deal breakers? I think it's safe to say there’s a propensity to be highly aware of any signs of danger such as anger issues, clingy, controlling, a total narcissist, rudeness, physically abusive, mental manipulator, doesn’t respect boundaries, needs constant validation, attention seeker, etc. What it primarily comes down to is learning from your mistakes and not allowing yourself to fall for the mental, emotional, as well as physical pitfalls, but at the same time knowing you have that same strength to mentally, emotionally, and physically get yourself out of a potentially bad relationship.

In retrospect there should most definitely be a matter of importance on one's own dating standards relating to deal breakers as it provides a process that puts into place what's most valued and cherished in the pursuit of a forever best friend. Yet, it shouldn't be the end all and be all in making highly critical decisions when it comes to fulfilling all the boxes checked off the internal relationship clipboard within your own heart. Ultimately, as you get older you hopefully reach a point in your life where you just have to let go, adapt, and simply embrace a dealbreaker that's not necessarily a major red flag. In the end, every person has that certain x-factor in which it may not be favorably appealing for some, but for others it would most assuredly be for that certain special someone out there an absolute catch.