Monday, December 12, 2016

Treat You Better

Don Miguel Ruiz once said, ~If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you. If that person doesn't walk away, you will surely endure many years of suffering with him or her. Walking away may hurt for a while, but your heart will eventually heal. Then you can choose what you really want. You will find that you don't need to trust yourself to make the right choices.~ Without a doubt, this year alone at least 10 million men and women who have suffered in an abusive relationship. On a typical day, there's on average of 20,000 phone calls placed to abuse hotlines nationwide. With that said, every person should most definitely be treated with loving and caring respect, especially when it involves matters of the heart. Unfortunately, that isn't the case as a number of individuals suffer mental, emotional, and/or physical abuse at the hands of someone who supposedly loved him/her.

Let me ask you this question to those who have been in a mentally abusive relationship, how hard a toll was it on your self-esteem and self worth? I think it's safe to say it's a mentally tortuous and not to mention dangerous situation indeed as the abuser uses their own jealousies to attain a sense of sadistic mental control on one's significant other. As I said before, said abuser can certainly utilize their own insecure jealousies to their advantage, so to speak, in having him/her question the people he/she socializes with like family, friends, and/or mere acquaintances. Speaking of mere acquaintances, jealousy can be doubly dangerous when interacting with someone of the opposite sex. Thinking about it further, it can certainly be a form of Stockholm Syndrome in which he/she is all intense and purposes mentally locked within himself/herself to the point where it pushes one to the brink of insanity whereby their own self-esteem and self worth metaphorically takes a tremendous hit.

If you think about it, mental and emotional abuse are closely connected/associated with each other. Essentially, its similar in a way that both deal in a form of memories and emotions than can run very deep psychologically. Oftentimes, its slight manipulation in the form of subtle shaming or out right bullying by constant verbal criticism. Women, more so than men, fall victims to so called "gentlemen" who target any kind of insecurities for their own morbid pleasure. It's those particular insecurities/issues women haven't been able to or refused to deal with for quite some time. Sadly, negative coping mechanisms such as denial, anger, fear, doubt, etc. can lead to a possible eating disorder, body issues, and/or whatever the case may be for any woman who is unable to escape their own personal nightmarish hell. You see, it's those particular issues that are deemed highly and deeply emotional, as well as extremely sensitive so much so it's a type of control that is so overwhelmingly powerful it will literally bring them to their knees.

For the question can be asked to those who suffered in a physically abusive relationship, were you utterly afraid to tell someone because the added combination of mental/emotional abuse left you broken in such a way you wanted to be heard by someone or anyone for that matter who is willing to listen and be believed? True, it can be quite difficult for those suffering from physical abuse at the hands of a supposed loved one in trying to leave knowing there is that unfortunate mindset of not having the inner strength to truly break free. Promises and apologies can be made to never be physically harmed by him/her only to be broken. Yet, that inner strength is there and all it ever takes is for the cries for help to be heard by someone who is willing to help in any way, shape or form. Granted, fear may be a catalyst in breaking free but once that fear is conquered there's no stopping you. So, who was there for as your unwavering support when you needed help the most in leaving an abusive relationship?

Someone said, ~Don't hold on to someone because you think there will be no one else. You've got to believe in yourself and that you are worth more than repeatedly hurt by someone who doesn't really care, believe that someone will see what you are really worth and treat you the way you should be treated.~ In retrospect, don't ever waste your time or tears on the wrong ones who puts you into situations where you have found/find yourself mentally, emotionally, and/or physically drained that you just want it to stop causing you to lose the smile on your face. What it primarily comes down to is having someone you've been missing out on who'll tell the truth instead of lies finally waking you up to a relationship that is completely different from anything you've ever experienced before. Unfortunately, it's a unknown whether that person has the ability to stop time or the sign your shown that he/she is actually the one; but trust me when I say he/she will give you a better future to look forward to inevitably giving your smile back. In the end, be patient because the right person you want/waiting for is out there and has the capacity to treat you better in every sense of the word, which is song by a former Vine cover artist now U.S. Billboard 200 sensation Shawn Mendes.

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