Just Ask

Amber Richards once said, ~I believe that it doesn't matter who takes control, just as long as someone step up to the plate.~ Let me ask you this question does it really matter that the guy be the one to ask the girl out or have it be the other way around with the woman asking the guy? For it can truly be a debatable topic indeed where reasonable and valid points of views for either side are placed on the table, so to speak, giving way to discussions in which you're either right or wrong. You see, times are a changin' as there has been a gradual turn or should I say a reversal of roles if you will when it pertains to a woman asking a guy out. What it primarily comes down to is the era of tradition to what is now readily accepted in today's society.

If you think about it, tradition dictates that it's the guy who should ask the woman out whether its merely as a friend or on an actual date. For guys like myself, we make the choice of asking out a woman as a friend first in order to get to know the woman on what she likes, dislikes, her favorite activities, etc. and if she genuinely enjoys hanging out plans are made to hang out again. Ultimately, when a certain amount of time has passed...possibly a month...he then asks her out on a proper date. Essentially, by hanging out and talking with the particular woman of interest you take into consideration what possible activities, places to eat, etc. you know she likes/enjoys instead of thinking what she supposedly might like, which in my opinion women really appreciate.

Without a doubt, there is certainly a change these days as women are now stepping up to the plate, in a manner of speaking, doing the asking out. As much as I consider myself a traditionalist, a woman does have the right to ask a guy out because quite frankly there can be times where a guy can be so indecisive as to asking her out they inevitably beat him to the punch. Why? It’s that mindset of thinking she may be out of his league or she would never go out with me that leads us to doubt. Anyways, if the woman really likes him and the signals she is giving, whether they're subtle or not, aren't apparently working because we're either completely dense or we can be absolutely confused at the signals leading us to have a mental tug of war within our head asking ourselves if she actually like likes us or likes us in the brother sort of way then she step up to make the move.

Personally speaking, in the span of 2 months I asked a woman to hang out and was asked by a woman to hang out both as a friend. Thinking about it, when I asked that particular female I chatted with on Facebook with to hang out...no cheesy pick up lines used...we met up for lunch, spending a comfortable time talking and getting to know a little bit about each other. I can honestly say it was an enjoyable experience and for her as well. Now on the other side of that coin, being asked out by a female friend was both surprising and yet flattering at the same time because I didn't expect it alI. What did I do? I did nothing...I was myself and it caught her attention. Plus, for the first time I was in the position where I had the power to either say or no...I said yes and we pretty much had a nice time hanging out at the movies.

In retrospect, when you're a guy/girl doing the asking out or being the one asked out it can be flattering and a surprise. However, there can be times where doing the asking can be a big mistake. For the question can be asked, has anyone ever been in a situation that turned from bad to worse like asking out as a friend/someone you had a crush on in middle school only to find out they not only completely changed, but somehow you ended up being taken to some kind of pyramid, get rich quick scheme involving some kind of wine that supposedly had healing powers? Don't ask. In the end, my friend Elissa summed it up best by saying it doesn't really matter who asks who out because when you just ask as a friend it's okay but when you're actually asking in the context of an interest towards a real date then it's all on the guy to step up.