Can We Talk

Someone once said, ~Love is something that grows on you - it's not something that hits you in a flash when you first see a person. You have to find out what the person is really like, how they want to raise children (if they do), what their job or home goals are, what they seek in a mate. Take the time to find out what is beneath the exterior. Truly knowing someone is not a week long process.~ Without a doubt, one of the most important aspects of a relationship in which there is a growing love is communication. I think we can all agree that when you talk with someone for any length of time you gradually get a better understanding of who he or she is as a person. What it primarily comes down to is simply having open and honest conversations that range from everyday life to deeply personal matters of the heart.

Let me ask you this question, when was the last time you truly had a meaningful conversation with a guy or girl you were either interested in or were/are in a relationship with to the point where both of you personally, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually became closer? You see, it's important these days for both men and women to have well-rounded conversations that are able to stimulate every part of your brain. Why? Essentially, it gives you the chance to show that person there's much more to you intellectually than what's on the surface or vice versa. It's a sad situation indeed when a couple who have been in a relationship that has lasted several years don't know each other because they didn't take the time to talk in depth about such things as their values, beliefs, ambitions, goals, hopes, dreams etc.

If you think about it, in order to establish a strong dialogue with a potential and/or significant other you have to move past the standard question that asks who, what, where, and when. What is your favorite song? Who is your biggest influence in your life? Where do you see yourself in 10 years? When do you want to get married? Unfortunately, the mistake that is oftentimes made is just stopping at these proverbial surface questions because in certain people's minds it's all he or she needs to know to have a good relationship, which is foolish thinking. Let me tell you something, whether you're a man or a woman if someone you love can give you the whys of the above-mentioned questions, plus many others, and not just know about them for trivia sake then it shows there is a deep connection in verbal communication between the two of you.

For the question can be asked to you ladies, has there ever been a past relationship where the guy talked with you instead of to you about issues that meant something important? What do I mean? Well, when he talked with you did he make you feel comfortable within yourself to talk to him back about your thoughts, feelings, ideas, and opinions that plague your mind, so to speak, without fearing that he is not going to take it seriously or give feedback that cuts you down. You see, one of the things I've learned is that women want a guy who can be emotionally rather than mentally connected when having a heart to heart talk about such things as marriage, raising kids, doubts/insecurities within the relationship, the path of the relationship itself, etc. giving her that assurance he's always going to be open to talk with you instead of being closed off, which many guys tend to be at times.

In retrospect, communication is one of the most helpful keys in any relationship and women, more than anything, know the value of why it's important in communicating verbally with a guy and having what she's been saying have absolute merit. The same can also be said for us guys as well because it's hard for us to open up and talk to you women. It's just one of those things that we aren't good at because the minute we open our mouth to say something we get ourselves into trouble leading us to remove the foot we've lodged into it all-the-while apologizing as we try to get back in your good graces. In the end, a growing relationship built on love/respect thrives when you spend quality time communicating with each other no matter where you are or how busy you are and it all begins with just saying/asking these three words...can we talk?