Be A Goldfish

Marianne Williamson once said, ~ Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.~ Let me ask you this question, what is your greatest fear and I’m not talking about spiders, heights, or any irrational fears involving something weird like the taste/sight/feel of pickles.

Without a doubt, one of the greatest and deepest fears anyone can ever really experience is being alone, especially if you’re going through any sort of mental, as well as emotional turmoil. I think it’s safe to say we’ve all at some point or another have felt or are possibly feeling that way right now. For it’s truly a tremendously challenging situation indeed for a person to find himself/herself in as you’re left struggling/dealing with your own thoughts, feelings, and emotions, which can most definitely be like internally living an absolute tortuous existence. Thinking about it further, it’s the unfortunate power of one’s neurotically insecure thoughts and stressful emotions that can turn incredibly negative to the point where it ends up potentially triggering either a panic or anxiety attack.

If you think about it, it’s one thing to deal with your own issues of being alone but dealing with someone else’s issues in regards to a dating relationship can be absolutely exhausting. Of course, spending quality time together is what helps establish a strong bond between two people. However, when you’re unable to enjoy the comfortable solitude of one’s own “me time” because he/she wants to constantly be by your side it inevitably becomes problematic. In other words, the guy/girl in question has turned very needy or clingy maybe because of abandonment issues. Essentially, it’s considered a major dating red flag to become highly aware of because if he/she wants to always be in your presence you’ll feel so suffocated it’s like you’ve been tightly wrapped in a human version of a straight jacket, which can drive anyone considerably insane.

For the question can be asked: are you more afraid of the thought of being alone or the feeling of loneliness? What’s the difference? Essentially, when it comes to being by yourself without anyone around you’re simply enjoying the meditative solitude while being given the opportunity to soak in the silence of the surrounding environment while at the same time learning about yourself. Personally, speaking I like to refer to it as going into Jedi master hermit mode. In any case, it’s the total opposite of the feeling of loneliness that is solely based on one’s emotions and feeding the need/want/yearning to fill the void within your own heart, so to speak. Unfortunately, that aforementioned void ends up getting filled with the wrong guy/girl thus causing yourself to be locked and isolated in your own sort of self imposed mental/emotional purgatory.

In retrospect, each one of us is powerful beyond measure as we do our best in facing/conquering one of the greatest/deepest fears in life. What it primarily comes down to is focusing on the light of your own strength instead of the darkness that attempts to swallow you whole into the darkness. Oftentimes, whether we’re alone living a life of solitude or experiencing the emotional tapping of loneliness on our heart you have to be reminded that fear is temporary and can be quickly gone like a memory. Speaking of memory, did you know that the happiest animal with a 10 second memory is the goldfish. Thanks Ted Lasso. In the end, heed the following three words of Ted Lasso by simply taking 10 seconds that ultimately helps you happily move on from and avoid the fear of loneliness leading to another bad past relationship: be a goldfish.