Monday, November 13, 2006

Whenever You Come Around

O.A. Battista once said, ~The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they're alive.~ Without a doubt, telling someone how you truly feel about him or her is considered one of the most difficult things any person can possibly try to do. It's oftentimes that unexplainable experience that every person has experienced one time or another when it pertains to someone who with or without any reasons makes you smile. Yet, if that particular person is the one who makes you happy then why is it so hard to express face to face how you feel that it can cause you to become absolutely powerless, in a manner of speaking, to the point you're literally getting weak in the knees?

Thinking about it, it's being scared of and looking into the unknown as you have that choice of either telling that person or keeping it hidden within your heart and soul. For some people they've chosen to take that risk while others have chosen the latter as one wishes to tell him or her, but what's holding them back are the times of past heartbreak and disappointments that one doesn't want to experience again. By making that choice, it keeps you from doing or saying anything that you would later kick yourself for, but unfortunately you can't stop yourself from doing it either. For the most part, the things one says or does such as sending flowers are honestly and genuinely done with only the best of intentions in mind.

Essentially, it can be an intimidating situation to be in as you see, try to talk to, or be around someone who makes you feel like a child. What do I mean? Essentially, you have no idea how to act as the calm, straight forward, somewhat intelligent conversationalist you're known as tends to take a back seat, so to speak, and is replaced by someone who you would be diagnosed with and/or suffering from ADD or ADHD. For the focus is just not there and when you do try to focus you gradually experience an edgy nervousness to the point where you can't sit still to gather one complete thought or any thought for that matter. Funny as it may seem to witness, it's not fun by any means to experience whatsoever...trust me on this.

Let me ask you this question, why be so afraid of someone who you know not only makes you automatically smile, but you also know he or she would never intentionally hurt in any way? As said before, it's the intimidation factor as it's hard to find the words to say that are just on the tip of your tongue, but when you open your mouth to say them, nothing seems to want to come out. We all have experienced or are experiencing it as the reasons why that remains one of those so called unsolved mysteries because it usually happens only with that particular person and not with any other guys or girls who you can not only speak clearly to, but also make perfect sense of what you're actually saying.

Personally speaking, it's been a year since meeting a woman, who shall remain nameless, that automatically puts a smile on my face as her smile and mere presence simply turns my upside down world rightside up. There are times where its easy to talk to her, but then there are times where I experience the biggest brainfart known to man and I have no idea how to act. Why? I don't know but maybe it's the kid in me that hasn't been excited about someone in quite awhile. In the end, I want her to know that even though she may not feel the same way, whenever you come around just to hang out are the times you've actually made not only my day, but also my life worthwhile, which is a song by Vince Gill that best describes how I feel.

1 comment:

Coco said...

Amen to that. It's so hard to say it for the first time. Maybe it's the fear of being rejected??