Monday, June 26, 2006

Fearless

Aminda M. Phillippe once said, ~I can jump off a cliff and be scared for thirty seconds. But I can look love straight in the face and be scared for the rest of my life.~ One of the scariest experiences a person will faces is that moment where one takes that leap of faith in the name of love. It can truly be a scary situation indeed as you risk the mortality of your own heart for that special someone. For those that jumped before you have either found themselves continually falling happily or unfortunately felt the sudden impact that they didn't want to see coming. Love, its considered an exciting adrenaline rush that last a lifetime and yet the question remains why be so afraid of it?

When it comes to love you totally commit yourself wholeheartedly to jump without ever really thinking about the consequences you may suffer. At first, you feel that initial rush of excitement running over entire body to where you ave that feeling of flying like Superman. Its a feeling of strong confidence as you feel absolute invulnerability and yet that same strong confidence can be gone in an instant leaving you vulnerable within your heart. For the control you thought you had is slowly lost and is replaced with extreme doubt as you find yourself thinking, saying, or screaming out loud have I completely lost my mind?

Essentially, every possible though concerning that certain someone can/will go through your mind to where you're rationalizing reasons why jumping was a clearly a big mistake. Such reasons that come to mind are: Am I even ready for love? Am I going to be able to give this person all that he/she wants and/or needs? Am I truly worthy enough to be part of this person's heart? Am I strong enough to be there for this person both physically, spiritually, and emotionally? Did I actually make the right choice in jumping? Its these questions and more that can scare you senseless to a point where you start to grab on to anything to either slow down or stop. For the question can be asked, are you now or have you been is this particular situation?

Without a doubt, there nothing safe about love and no matter how hard you want to try to protect yourself from being hurt you cant. In a sense, love is like kryptonite and it inevitably saps your strength both physically and emotionally each time you get hurt or when getting closer to someone. If you think about it, saying I love you to that certain someone opens you up to reveal your true self that holds emotion and feelings you don't want to show. Why? By admitting to yourself that you love someone the pain and heartache will become much greater to the point the freefall grows increasingly faster.

Someone said, ~I'm scared to fall in love, scared to fall fast, because every time I fall in love...it never seems to last.~ In retrospect, when you fall in love there will always be risk involved as you jump in hopes that you don't become another so called victim of love and yet the biggest risk is holding back the love you have for that certain someone. Ultimately, you just have to keep jumping and risk all that you are, as well as, all that you have in your heart to conquer your fear. In the end, when you do find that special someone who you would risk falling forever for even though you're scared out of your mind then my friend you truly are fearless.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Well spoke, Yoda. I want you to know, you don't know the whole story about why I left the Posse. I didn't abandon the Posse. I went down to see Carolyn... drove 1000 miles trying to do some kind of damn intervention. She threatened me, and the whole lot of those people were behind it. You didn't know the whole story, now you know a part of it. I think you know who I am. RR