A Change Is Gonna Come

Actor Jason Schwartzmen once said, ~Dating is just awkward moments and one person wants more than the other. It's just that constant strangeness. I think it's a very real thing.~ If you think about it, the word "dating" can put a considerable amount of pressure on a person. Why? I think many would agree when it comes to dating there is so much stress related pressure to act a certain way, not say/do anything that may offend him/her, or whatever the case may be. For it oftentimes feels more like fulfilling an obligation than just having a good time eating lunch/dinner, seeing a movie, playing miniature golf, etc. You see, unlike back in the day when people actually took the time in establishing a relationship it now moves fast, which is why I personally think the word "dating" should be changed to "hanging out" whereby taking the stress completely off.

Without a doubt, being able to hang out as friends does indeed take the pressure off because it puts you and that certain someone in such a relaxed state where you can not only think better to the point where there aren't any long, uncomfortable awkward silences in between conversations, but the tension one tends to experience within pretty much every part of your body is no longer there to be felt. Its when you feel that pressure the pain becomes increasingly difficult to deal with, especially when you know the date isn't going so well. Essentially, when there aren't any specified obligations of any kind to be met it leaves you open to simply have fun enjoying each other's company eating a meal and/or engrossed in a particular activity without having to worry so much about as to whether or not you're making a great impression on him/her.

Let me ask you this question, when you are hanging out with a friend and the both of you are meeting for lunch/dinner at a designated local where do you meet? Thinking about it, as a guy you don't under any circumstances suggest a fast food restaurant inevitably telling her you're a cheap bastard or going to a fine restaurant like The Olive Garden to where it says to her that its a date set in an intimate type atmosphere. What it primarily comes down to is a neutral middle ground as in a Chinese restaurant located within the vicinity of each other's house or somewhere downtown with a festive atmosphere such as McGuire's where the staff is dressed in traditional Irish serving attire. Let me tell you something, choosing a place to eat can be a tricky endeavor as it determines a balance that doesn't lead the person on either way.

Personally speaking, I am meeting up with a female friend who asked me to hang out and we're seeing a movie tonight...my treat by the way. In any case, how I went about choosing the movie came about by eliminating any romantic comedies like Love Happens starring Jennifer Aniston and Aaron Eckhart. I then eliminated action movies involving explosions and/or bloody battles where body parts get sliced/ripped off like Ninja Assassins. I also eliminated any horror type movies like Saw VI where it would/may be assumed grabbing an arm would give a reason for an ulterior motive for physical contact, whereby sending the wrong signal. So...what I ended up choosing and she mutually agreed upon it is the spy comedy Men Who Stare at Goats starring Ewan McGregor and George Clooney giving both of us the opportunity to enjoy the movie having a good laugh in the process.

In retrospect, the concept of dating has changed immensely as there are now expectations to consummate the relationship, especially on the first initial meeting. To be perfectly honest, its far from my mind because the primary focus isn't on satisfying my own carnal desires as it is instead being a friend, which is exactly what all guys should be because the good ole' days of what I like to refer to now as "hanging out" is falling by the wayside. Hey, to all the ladies, listen up because there are a number of guys who aren't trying to get into your pants the first chance they get as they genuinely want to hang out with you. Yeah, it's truly shocking to hear but that is the honest to goodness truth. In the end, women more than anything want that change and hopefully a change is gonna come but if it doesn't you know at least one guy would like to see it happen.