What's Left Of Me

Socrates once said, ~My friend...care for your psyche...know thyself...for once we know ourselves, we may learn to care for ourselves...~ Let me ask you this question, when it comes to matters of the heart, how many of you are metaphorically covered by layers and layers of past disappointment, anger, bitterness, resentent, sadness, heartbreak, etc. to the point where it feels like you're wearing a coat. For it's the so-called coat of bad past relationship issues that inhibits any guy/girl from touching your heart. You see, by not dealing with those past issues they will inevitably make you absolutely uncomfortable like a coat and the more times you add on issue after issue it causes your own heart to metaphorically suffocate. Essentially in order for your heart to breathe again you have to strip away three thrings: thoughts, attitude/behavior, and emotions.

Without a doubt, one of those coats that can initially suffocate your heart are the thoughts of a bad past relationship leading you to believe that love or relationships as a whole for that matter are just a waste of time. It would be safe to say we all know someone or are that someone who has this unfortunate mindset that all guys/girls are the same as they're only interested in you to use you for their own selfish pleasure and then then throw you away for their next conquest. It's a sad situation indeed to know someone or be that someone who has been so badly burned it most definitely tears away at you mentally turning him/her/you into a cynical, realist who when potentially meeting someone not like any other guy or girl in the past they'll/you'll weigh the aspect of what love bring you over the logic of how it can hurt you with logic winning out in the end.

Oftentimes, it's the coat of your own attitude/behavior can, in some ways, smother your heart because the more times you are in attack mode when a person pushes the wrong button that cause you to behave in a childish manner, the more likely the coats of disappointment, anger, resentment, bitterness, sadness, heartbreak, etc. will constrict the ability to move around within your heart. In other words, lashing out at those close to/around you because they'll never be able to understand the personal hell you've gone through in past relationships caused you to be weighed down making you incapable of moving forward to where you feel stuck. Stuck in the sense of not being able get the zipper to a coat unstuck and no matter how many times you try to open it to unzip those past issue relationships issues you can't, which makes you frustrated, as well as, afraid that you'll never be able to take it off.

For the question can be asked, how many of you are wearing the coat of your own emotions that have metaphorically wrapped you up so tightly it feels as if you're in an invisible straight jacket that is bringing you or has already brought you to the brink of madness? It would be safe to say, many of you have been in a situation where we've struggled to break free from the bitter, resentful feelings you have for someone leaving you so overwhelmed that the madness grows each day whenever thoughts of him or her come to mind. It's a tough situation indeed to let go of something that feels so good because the pain motivates you to hold onto an emotion such as anger. For the hatred you feel for that person who threw away everything..the memories..the feelings...are now considered a source of neverending strength that if it's continually tapped will leave you losing your sanity bit by bit.

In retrospect, you don't want to let your life/love pass you by because once you make the decision to never remove the coats of bad past relationship issues it will stay on for good. You see, no matter how many past issues continue to pile on to where you want to retain that seemingly uncomfortable warmth of comfort, you're always going to feel cold inside. In any case, a person will oftentimes rather keep the torn, ripped up condition of one's mental, behavioral/attitudinal, and emotional state of being than taking time to break in a new one, which takes work on your part. In the end, it's all worth it as you're able to strip away/work through by yourself some tough issues that you have never been able to get past because you either avoided it or you were to scared to talk in depth about it, but when you do you can stand in front of the person you love/care about and say with a smile on your face you can have what's left of me...my heart.