Tough Love

Marquise De Sevigne once said, ~We cannot destroy kindred: our chains stretch a little sometimes, but they never break.~ Let me ask you this question, how strong are the links in your family chain? I think we would all agree that there will be times where situations arise in which the strength of the family chain is tested. Tested in the sense of having your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual state of being stretched all at once far beyond its capacity to the point where it possibly breaks because of one particular link in the chain that has become weak over time. For it’s a weak link in which matters of the heart are involved, especially when it pertains to female teenage members of the family who become interested in the opposite sex or vice versa.

Let me ask you this question for you guys out there, how many of you are considered a strong link as either an older brother, father figure, or father to certain females both in your family, as well as, in your extended family? You see, as a guy we're obligated to be very protective of the female members of the family/extended family no matter how old they are from guys out there who they should never be near, close to, or around them...at all. Why? Essentially, for many of us who are in our late 20's to early 30's we know what these young boys are thinking and what their basic mindset is because we were they're age with the same thought process, but the big difference is we we're a different generation that not only respected the ladies, we also showed it as well.

Without a doubt, it can be a frustrating situation indeed to not always be around to try to keep a close eye on what type of guys are hanging around your daughter, sister, female friends who are considered a sister, or cousins. Ladies, you gotta see it from our perspective and that is no guy will ever be right, be around, or ever come in contact with them, but unfortunately they somehow do cause us great personal stress to the point of becoming angry for purely valid reasons. Let me tell you something, nothing makes us agitated and puts stress on the family chain more when we see a guy who we don't know have his arm around our daughter, sister, family female friend, cousin, etc. and in our mind we're thinking take your arm off her or I'll break if off.

Thinking about it, you can't always control/direct matters of the heart your way when it involves teenagers in your immediate or extended family. Of course, we joke about them not dating or getting married till their 45, but there comes a point where "The Talk" comes into play and you have to throw down the proverbial hammer to get the message through into their subconscious/conscious mind the seriousness of a scary reality, but not too hard to where they completely tune you out. Trust me when I see it's important for all guys to keep the link with them strong as you sit down to discuss...not argue/demand...with your young daughter(s), sister(s), close female family friend(s), or cousin(s) to be careful with boys these days because they have only one thing in mind and its not sitting down with girls and talking about their feelings.

Paul Pearshall said, ~Our most basic instinct is not for survival but for family. Most of us would give our own life for the survival of a family member, yet we lead our daily life too often as if we take our family for granted.~ In retrospect, whether you're a dad, older brother, older brother/father figure, you have to fervently pray to God to ask Him to help them make the right decision and not become so hated that you push them to make the wrong ones leading them down a path they may never be able to come back from. What it comes down to is not making the mistake of overreacting to certain situations causing the strong link to become weak or you'll find yourself being the so-called "bad guy". In the end, we do the things we do because we love/care about them and it's that type of tough love where we simply say don't be stupid...be smart.