I Have A Plan

Mark Twain once said, ~If I were required to guess off-hand, and without collusion with higher minds, what is the bottom cause of the amazing material and intellectual advancement of the last fifty years, I should guess that it's the modern-born and previously non-existent disposition on the part of men to believe that a new idea can have value.~ Working at the asylum, otherwise known as the Youth Center, you have to be able to think of ideas and oftentimes do it on the spur of the moment. Yet, it's during those times of brainstorming for good ideas, there comes a point where we start formulating other ideas that technically aren't worthy or should I say ready to be implemented...yet.

One such idea that usually comes up around the ole' water cooler, so to speak, is the “take your child/children and as many other kids home with you” plan. Its a simple plan really in which a parent arrives to pick up his or her kid/kids and when they ask for their whereabouts we direct them to where he, she, or they are. BUT, before doing that we greet them, schmooze with them, and then spring the plan into action. It's that particular plan we do on a seemingly regular basis and to be perfectly honest it has never really worked to perfection. Essentially, its just a matter of time until a parent actually says yes and then the other plans we have in store will come to fruition...hopefully.

Another idea that needs to be tweaked around a bit more before it is perfected is the youth center child exchange program where you send several of our children of the corn to another youth center and we receive their children of the corn. It's a month-long program where we see if a change in environment helps them or a particular child and if there is any that the youth center keeps that child or children; somewhat like a trade in baseball only there is no money involved. Again, it's one of those ideas that needs to be tweaked to where documents need to be signed, parents' permission must be needed, several lawyers present, and probably a judge to see if things are legit; but other than that it could possibly work.

When it comes to the mother of all ideas, this one takes the cake in a manner of speaking and all we need is the parent's, as well as, the military's permission. The plan, called Operation Oompa Loompa, is to ship every asylum child to Iraq, drop them off, and there they will be given a mission to find Osama Bin Laden. You basically have to know the mindset and mentality of the kids at the asylum because quite frankly they scare us at times and there are particular few that we actually fear for our life..I'm not kidding. Think about it, they can blend in, the Taliban won't suspect a thing, and let me tell you something "my kids" will fight dirty and when I mean dirty...lets just say one of the kids at the asylum is a biter.

In retrospect, when it comes to thinking up crazy ideas that deal with the kids of the insane asylum, we can be a little twisted at times; but we do love all of them...well some of them. In any case, the ideas we do come up with are usually put into two categories which are: Ready To Go and the other is Are You Out Of Your Mind? Most of the ideas we do come up on our own or as a group sometimes fall into the Are You Out Of Your Mind category due to the fact we might either get fired, sued, or arrested. Thankfully, nobody has gotten fired, sued, or arrested...not that I know of anyway. In the end, when or if you ever get the chance to work at the asylum be fair warned when you hear the following words come out of our mouths which are I have a plan.