Bow Down

Ken Kesey once said, ~You can't really be strong until you see a funny side to things.~ Let me ask you this question, who do you think truly personifies more strong, gritty toughness men or women? It's a debatable topic to the point where it can not only lead to heated arguments, but also can be absolutely funny because of how certain people take it so seriously. You most definitely have to see the humorous side of an oftentimes ego driven battle that has been ongoing since the dawn of time. Men and women can make or have made fools out of each other for the expressed purpose of claiming superiority for the male or female species in terms of strength when it pertains to being strong emotionally, mentally, and physically.

If you think about it, being emotionally strong is something that tends to have a different interpretation between men and women. For men, emotional strength is about inwardly suppressing any kind of feelings or tears for that matter to the surface because as a kid we were taught to take the pain of being emotionally hurt like a soldier. As a guy, tears are viewed as public enemy number one and are considered a sign of weakness that has the power to completely destroy our masculinity. Women, on the other hand, see emotional strength as being able to be in constant touch with their sometimes intense feelings of anger, frustration, sadness, as well as, love expressed outwardly and when it comes to shedding tears they embrace it like a close comforting friend that helps them become stronger.

Without a doubt, men and women have the ability to be mentally strong when facing and solving problems in which critical decisions are made that may be life altering. Essentially, guys use logic and facts to chronologically search and analyze the situation at hand that is before us. You see, it's easier for us to focus on one problem at a time because if we focus on all of them at once our head will explode, which is probably why guys take longer to make decisions. Yet, for women both heart and logic are always used to solve several problems seemingly all at once by making decisions in a more relaxed, clear headed way to where they deal with the situation before them with tender, loving care rather than a step by step rundown of solutions/answers that might hopefully work.

For the question can be asked, how many of you are physically strong enough to handle a certain amount of pain? Men and women, initially experience the same kind of pain on a daily basis and yet there are different types of pain that each of us will never be able to experience. Women will never know the feeling of how much it painfully hurts to be hit, kicked, kneed, or punched in the cojones and why we need to take as much time to gather ourselves from experiencing something traumatic that inevitably has us seeing our life flash before our eyes. On the flipside, men will never know the feeling of having a baby and/or experiencing giving birth to a child, which is a level of pain that any guy would gladly not go through because no matter how tough we think we are we'll pass out in an instant.

In retrospect, men and women will always exude strength when times of anger, sadness, frustration, hopelessness and even happiness occur. Even though it is shown differently, it doesn't necessarily mean that particular way is right or wrong because that is how God created us. As a guy, we tend to think the things we go through emotionally, mentally, and physically make us stronger, but the funny thing is women are the strongest of all. They deal with situations both personal and professional that are just mind boggling and if we stepped in their shoes for one day, so to speak, we wouldn't last a minute because of how crazy it can be. In the end, as a guy you have to bow down at the unyielding strength of women because they are true soldiers who most definitely have earned my respect.

We Ride

Franklin P. Jones once said, ~Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.~ In some aspect, love or true love for that matter is considered to be the greatest road trip two people can ever experience with each other, so to speak. Its a road trip in which every scenario you think of can and possibly will happen as both of you travel down relationship road rolling into and eventually past moments that will most definitely be kept in the so called glove box of your heart. Essentially, it's those moments that when you look back in your rear view mirror of life, you regretted nothing and cherished everything you two have been through as it put a smile on your face, as well as, brought happy tears to your eyes.

Let me ask you this question to those who are in a significant relationship, how long have both of you been on the road cruising down Route 66 towards true happiness? Without a doubt, every relationship starts out with all smiles as you begin the journey with uncertainty, but as long as you have each other it really doesn't matter. The time spent with each other matters as you use it to your advantage to get a better understanding of who is riding shotgun next to you. You listen carefully to try not to miss out on anything being said and you pay close attention to the little details that seem insignificant because in the whole scheme of things you don't want to end up forgetting what it was that made you fall in love with that person many miles ago.

It would be safe to say many of us have gone on countless road trips and the one thing everyone can agree with is that being stuck in a car with someone for a long period of time can drive you nuts, which each of us has experienced in the past. If you think about it, that is how relationships are because as time goes on certain things can get on your nerves making it difficult to keep your concentration on the road causing possible problems in the relationship to the point emotions such as anger happen whereby leading to tears being shed. It's a sad situation indeed when a guy or girl decides to stop the car entirely and leave behind the one he or she supposedly loves on the side of the road because of not being able to deal with annoying traits in a respectful, mature way.

For the question can be asked again to those in a significant relationship, has there been a point where a breakdown occurred leaving both of you staring at each other and wondering if the problems are able to be fixed or not? Thinking about it, problems can't be fixed as they have to be repaired from the inside out. You see, there are people out there who give up too easily in relationships when facing problems that, in their own mind, are seen as impossible to fix because its just too much work. Yet, if you are the type of person who never gives up and makes the impossible possible, you have a true perception of what love really is as it takes time, effort, as well as, patience to see what the problem is, work it out slowly together, and have the problems in the relationship repaired.

In retrospect, love can not only test how much fuel two people have to keep moving forward, but it can also test who is willing to stay the course till the end. For some people the road trip ended before it even started as they used up all their fuel, but for others they're still on their road trip having fun and madly in love with each other even though they have been through rough times. In the end, if you have someone in your life who will always be right there with you no matter how crazy the journey gets both of you can confidently look into each others' eyes and say these famous words that have have been slightly changed from the movie Bad Boys: ~We ride together, we die together, you and me for life~. It’s a song from the Caribbean singing sensation Rhianna that best reflects this thought.

Behind The Mask

Francois De La Rochefoucauld once said, ~There is no disguise which can hide love for long where it exists or stimulates it where it does not.~ If you think about it, men and women aren't all that different as there are certain things we all share such as our insecurities tend to be hidden, especially when it pertains to matters of the heart. In some aspect, each of us wears a type of mask to hide behind in order to not reveal how truly scared we are when it comes to relationships. It's a mask in which people honestly believe the face they see is a true perception of who that person really is, but unfortunately it's oftentimes a deluded perception to fool others. Let me ask you this question, what type of mask are you wearing and how long have you been wearing it?

Without a doubt, anger can be considered a mask to hide behind when past heartbreak keeps you from potentially establishing a relationship with someone who is truly special. For a person can be at first uncomfortable wearing the mask of anger, so to speak, because of how much unbridled emotion can take control over you. However, over time that feeling of anger can initially be embraced to the point where it completely changes their whole identity leaving you totally unrecognizable. When I say unrecognizable, I'm speaking in the metaphorical sense and its a sad situation indeed when a person isn't capable of removing or refuses to remove the mask of anger because of what he or she has personally experienced in a past relationship.

Believe it or not, a person can wear the mask of happiness as he or she deals with matters of the heart with a seemingly cheerful, upbeat attitude. As strange as it may sound we all know, are friends with, or are that someone who either smiles, laughs, and/or uses one's own sense of humor to keep things light hearted in order to not let those closest to you to be concerned with what you are going through. For some, most, or all people, it's simply a defense mechanism that automatically turns on when facing the possibility of having their heart put through the ringer, in a manner of speaking. In a sense, being able to smile, laugh, or make fun of a depressing situation gives the person a chance to keep one's sanity intact, which may work depending on the type of person you are.

Essentially, one can definitely hide behind a false sense of confidence as a person can psych himself or herself up into doing or saying something for the expressed purpose of taking a risk with their heart, but walks away at the last minute. I think many of you would agree that in order to look confident you must feel, as well as, talk confident and if you don't feel in both areas it then it will show in either your speech, facial expression, the way you carry yourself, and/or in the way you keep eye contact with someone. In a sense, each of us can be unrealistic into thinking he or she has always been ready for love, but when it happens you find out that you weren't able handle it leaving you not only embarrassed, but also physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually defeated.

In retrospect, there are so many masks one can wear that all a person ends up doing is seeing through one's heart rather than feeling with it. Thinking about it, love itself can become the proverbial iron mask that keeps the feelings and emotions we hold locked in perpetual darkness to not only never see the light of day, but also never feel the warmth of love. It can be a tortuous, painful feeling as you so want to allow yourself to express how you feel within your heart, and yet at the same time be put out of your misery for letting yourself go through it. In the end, its just a matter of finding the right key to unlock your metaphorical prison that has prevented you from letting someone who is honest, genuine, and not afraid to see the person who is truly behind the mask.

Lose Yourself

Someone once said, ~Remember you can be in love, but always be independent, be your own person.~ If you think about it, love or true love for that matter doesn't mean compromising your own individuality in order to fit someone's perception of who he or she wants in a relationship. What it does mean is staying the person you've always been and when it comes to change, if any, it's not on that person's terms, but rather under the terms you are most comfortable with when it comes to matters of the heart. Essentially, every person has their own way of seeing, thinking, as well as, doing things and even though it may not be agreeable with a potential/significant other to the point of butting heads, its what makes love not only interesting, but also challenging as well.

Let me ask you this question, do you consider yourself a stubborn person who doesn't back down when it concerns standing by your own convictions? It's one's own stubbornness that can cause friction in a relationship to where you, that person, or both aren't willing to save face and say I'm sorry when feeling hurt, which can be considered the most difficult thing to do. Why? What it comes down to is ego and pride getting in the way as a person handles/deals with the particular situation his or her own way, which can complicate things even more. Yet, when it comes to being in a relationship its less of "my way, and more of "our way" as you initially set aside your ego, swallow your pride, and work together in order to establish common ground because if not then its "no way jose'' to the relationship.

Without a doubt, being your own person means thinking for yourself and not letting anyone else dictate your own thoughts for you, which includes the guy or girl you love. It's a sad situation indeed when a person doesn't have the capability to think one's self to where he or she is perceived to be a mindless zombie like puppet who agrees or disagrees with anything you say and that is not what a loving relationship should be, which can most definitely drive you nuts. I think many would agree with me when I say the best/most challenging part of a relationship is being able to not only accept someone's else's way of thinking, but also being able to try to understand his or her viewpoint and even though you may not agree with it you respect the fact he or she has the cojones to speak his or her mind.

For the question can be asked, how many of you enjoy the freedom of doing what you love to do? Each of us have our own activities we enjoy doing by ourselves or with a group of friends that are both fun and entertaining, which may not be seen that way by a potential and/or significant other. However, when it comes to relationships there are times where you're asked to do an activity that may not be fun and entertaining in your own eyes. For you have the right to say no and yet you hopefully choose do it anyway because it not only brings a smile to that person's face, but it also shows one's willingness to be there with an open mind even though it may not be your cup of tea, so to speak, which shows you're going to support him or her no matter how dull or boring the activity may be.

In retrospect, love gives you the chance to be dependent on someone else who wants to be there for you whenever you need help, but not so dependent you become lazy in the relationship. At the same time, you keep the part of yourself who is an independent strong willed person, which is one reason as to why your potential/significant other fell in love with you and vice versa. If you think about it, you don't have to sacrifice your own morals, as well as, integrity to make someone else happy leaving you, in some aspect, without an identity. In the end, never lose yourself in love to where you don't know who you are anymore because love is not about giving up your own individuality as a person, but rather sharing your individuality with someone special who brings out the best of who you truly are. d, never lose yourself in love to where you don't know who you are anymore because love is not about giving up your own individuality as a person, but rather sharing your individuality with someone special who brings out the best of who you truly are.

Far Away

Someone once said, ~Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will.~ When it comes to matters of the heart, each of us have someone that we miss whose absence, whether its long term or temporary, leaves you feeling in all intensive purposes bummed out, unless the person you love/care about is right there by your side. In any case, its not so much the distance or length of time that you can have you genuinely missing someone, but rather the moments that have been considered absolutely enjoyable, which has kept you smiling both inside and out as you eagerly anticipate to be in his or her company once again.

Without a doubt, it can be a tough situation indeed for any person who is in a significant relationship to be separated from a loved one who they miss dearly, especially if he or she is serving in the military overseas. One can go through experiencing emotions such as sadness, fear, and worry because you never know if there will be a knock at the door and be given the news you didn't want to hear, which is something nobody in a significant relationship should focus on because it makes the pain of missing that person even greater. For its just a matter of focusing on the positive as you have the mindset that he or she will not only be seen again, but also if you hold him or her close in both your thoughts and heart, they're never really gone.

If you think about it, it's easy for those who are in significant relationships to admit they miss their other half because of the strong connection/bond established with each other. With that said, can a person have the right to miss someone who one has only known off and on for a certain length of time? It's hard to say as it primarily depends on both the type of relationship you share and the connection you have with him or her that may possibly have that person reciprocating that same sentiment back towards you. Although it may not be a connection that is strongly shared, it's a connection nonetheless in which it has enough wiggle room to let it grow by itself in certain aspects of the relationship to where the bond between you and that person gradually becomes tighter.

Let me ask you this question for those of you in a relationship, if you or your significant other were to live apart for a certain period of time what would you miss about that person? The reason I ask is that when it comes to relationships being able to describe from within your heart as to what you most miss about the one you love/care about, excluding the physical features of him or her, can give a person insight as to how much one truly pays attention to the things that may seem trivial, insignificant and/or even annoying, but in reality it means so much in the whole scheme of things. Here is a simple challenge: go ask your significant other what he or she would most honestly miss about you if you were to spend time apart for a while, then do the same for that person, and see for yourself what you find out.

In retrospect, whatever type of relationship you're in, missing someone who is miles or oceans apart and being able to see that person again is the best feeling in the world to ever experience. What it comes down to is patience as each day brings you closer to seeing that certain someone to the point where you're able to see him or her for the first time every time, which makes a strong relationship last. Personally speaking, I miss being around someone as the times spent with her have been enjoyable, which I hope to experience again if opportunities present themselves and when it comes to the valid reasons for why I miss her, I'm just going to keep that to myself. In the end, someone who is far away is always close by if you always have him or her in both your thoughts and heart, which is a song by the band Nickelback that is dedicated to anyone who has someone they miss.

Deal or No Deal(1st Yodaism of 2007)

Someone once said, ~Choose to love - rather than to hate. Choose to smile - rather than frown. Choose to preserve - rather than quit. Choose to praise - rather than gossip. Choose to heal - rather than wound. Choose to give - rather than take. Choose to act - rather than delay. Choose to forgive - rather than curse. Choose to pray - rather than despair.~ Let me ask you this question, how many of you have not only made New Year resolutions, but also are choosing to try to actually stick to them as well. Unfortunately, its those same resolutions that intially get broken in the early part of the year to possibly retry over again the following year and the following three usual resolutions made are: be more healthier, spend wisely, and lead a stronger prayer life.

Without a doubt, there has been so much attention focused on the obesity problem in the United States that it has primarily scared people into choosing to eat healthier and get physically fit. Its a tough situation indeed to eat right, as well as exercise knowing there are so many temptations out there to stuff your face full of junk food and become a proverbial couch potato, which is considered a deadly combination that can kill you slowly but surely. What people inevitably need is an incentive to shoot, for that can, in a sense, kick one in the buttockal region in a sort of biggest loser way so that you won't end up suffering a heart attack or worse dying of one. Whatever incentive may be for you to put the chips down and get off the couch to become healthier that it puts a few more years on your life then do it.

Oftentimes, there comes a point where each of us can get in over our head when it comes to spending on the material things in life, which can put any person in financial burden. We've all at some point in the past year bought something that we probably later regretted, which inevitably became a lesson hopefully learned for next time. Whether it's spending money on a car, house, phone, clothes, drinks at the club, whatever the case may be, you alone have the power to choose the right path to take with the money in your wallet that you worked hard for. Hey, we've become more or less responsible adults and when it pertains to my generation we have to realize that sooner or later saving money rather than spending it will be the best investment for both you and your family in the future as well.

For the question can be asked of you, when it comes to your spiritual life, in the past year how many of you chose to turn to God first when you need him the most or chose him as a last resort? Here's another question, do you consistently pray to God when things in life aren't going so well? When I say pray, I don't mean a prayer that doesn't take much thought and lasts for a split second or two, but instead a meaningful prayer coming from deep within your heart. Thinking about it, a deep meaningful prayer is the most precious, valuable, and powerful thing you can ever have as you turn to the Lord Almighty to help you through not just your worries, but also the trials and tribulations you may be going through when other alternatives seem to fail you.

T.S. Eliot once said, ~For last year's words belong to last year's language And next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning." In retrospect, 2006 will soon come to an end and the resolutions made for 2007 are chosen by countless people all over the world to either begin or quit something for them personally and not just because someone wanted them to. What it primarily comes down to is having self control and not failing at what you wanted to accomplish for the coming new year. In the end, when you choose a particular resolution to stick with, there will always be a voice in the back of your head that will ask you this pop culture game show catch phrase made famous by actor/comedian/game show host Howie Mandell which is deal or no deal.