Who I Am

Sue Bender once said, ~Listening to your heart is not simple. Finding out who you are is not simple. It takes a lot of hard work and courage to get to know who you are and what you want.~ Without a doubt, there will always be that ultimate power struggle between a person's heart and mind in regards to love/true love. For it can most definitely be a difficult situation indeed to the point where the mental, physical, spiritual, and not to mention emotional toll leaves you feeling absolutely fatigued. Yet, it’s during this time of relationship inner turmoil you are in a way battle tested in such a way the scars you've endured have either completely stripped away your own identity or ended up having a strong sense of who you truly are.

As I said before, you're in a way battle tested and the scars endured can either completely strip away one's own identity or end up leaving you with a strong sense of who you truly are. I think it's safe to say every person has been in a situation where listening to your heart will lead or has knowingly led you to utter heartbreak despite the mental/guttural instincts warning you to walk away before getting hurt. Unfortunately, it happens all too often and the significant impact causes a person to become confused, doubtful, fearful, indecisive, angry, frustrated, etc. True, the tough outer exterior of utmost confidence may be excluded but it's merely a facade where the smile you're hiding behind masks the unbearable pain of vulnerability screaming within.

If you think about it, when it comes to figuring out who you truly are as it pertains to matters of the heart, the decision to be the type of person you want to become falls solely on you. However, it's a sad state of affairs when the person you want to become is replaced by someone totally unrecognizable. Why? You see, the reason is for a certain number of people they've allowed themselves to compromise the following aspects they hold dear in order to be in a relationship with him/her: morals, ethics, values, personality, individualism, dignity, and self respect. Let me tell you something ladies and gentlemen, don't be that someone who compromises just to be accepted by him/her because if you constantly do it in order to be/feel loved then you'll lose the essence of your entire identity that makes you pretty special.

Let me ask you this question to those who are now in a worthwhile, significantly meaningful relationship. How many of you with a 100% surety have a strong sense of who you are and give credit to your gf/bf/wife/husband who encouraged you to be true to yourself? Oftentimes, the overwhelming support of your best friend for life who has the innate capacity to see outwardly/inwardly what you're capable of not only personally, but professionally as well gives you a warm, comforting feeling inside. Thinking about it, knowing that he's/she's got your back every step of the way brings forth the courage and fortitude to face the unknown with gutsy determination. In other words, do what you know in your heart what makes you happy instead of what you think or he/she thinks will bring true happiness into your heart.

In retrospect, there comes a point in the pursuit of true happiness: you'll go through a period of self discovery. The strength, resiliency, and burning desire to be a better person is what we all strive for when falling in love. Granted, to be that better person at times means walking away for your own good to have the smile return but I digress. In any case, being battle tested and having the scars of the heart to prove it can show flourishing growth rather than a painful past. What it primarily comes down to is not focusing on past heartbreak whereby letting the healing process begin so much so the individual you want to become inevitably shines through. In the end, if you're with someone who makes you a better person and will not allow you to make compromises, be grateful and say to him/her that you're part of the reason why I am who I am.