Heart Of The Matter

John Dewey once said, ~Every closure is an awakening, and every awakening settles something.~ We all can agree that breaking up with someone is never really easy and undeniably the heardest its thing a person can do or try do. Essentially, the feelings that you, as well as, that particular person shared for each other were strong, however, feelings fade at some point; but not entirely. For a piece of you still feels for that person and yet one wants to move on with his or her life without deliberately hurting that person causing him or her bitterness and.or utter resentment. Subsequently, one must go about in an entirely mature manner rather than an immature manner, which brings not only closure for you; but closure for that person as well, if any.

Let me ask you this question, how many of you have gone through a a really bad break up where it left you with unanswered questions and a feeling that certain areas of the relationships were'nt handled properly by either you or that guy or girl? Unquestionably, the blame game can come into play; but blaming each other for the faults and mistakes basically solves nothing in a relationship that was once based on trust and dependability. Its within that proverbial he said/she said conference style atmostphere that hurtful words may or may not be said, which is never a good thing when trying to end a relationship on preferably good terms with that person who you have spent considerable amount of time with.

Without a doubt, there is only one way to break up with a person which is face to face and if done cleanly it will not come back to haunt you in a future relationship. Oftentimes, a person makes the mistake of breaking up with someone through email, a Dear John/Jane letter, though a friend, and more often that not through a phone call, which is unfair either for you or that person because one is absolutely thrown off guard. In my opinion, doing it face to face shows that you were willing to sit down and explain why the relationship didn't work hopefully in a calm, rational, and civilized manner. In other words, an amicable split on both sides where each still remain friends as you and that person emotionally go your separate ways.

If you think about it, closure doesn't always necessarily have to deal with an ending of a relationship, but rather the beginning of one where a person has to make things right with himself or herself than with someone else. We've all known someone or are that person who finds excuses and/or reasons to break up with someone which leads people to believe that you are either indecisive about you want to be with or you just don't want to get too close to anyone emotionally. For is he or she does get too close, one instigates a break up; but what a person ends up doing is hurting himself or herself because you never really find out if he or she was truly the one who is worth going the distance for.

Tigress Luv said, ~When we live resentment towards another our hearts close down. Letting go of our resentment frees us from placing blame on them and allows us to look towards oursevles for peace.~ In retrospect, its all about forgiveness even if that person doesn't want to forgive you or be forgiven, at least one knows you can live without that person. Ultimately, in order to move foward with a present relationship a person must first make things right with a past relationship, which can be a tough task indeed. In the end, once you get to the heart of the matter with that person and lay it all on the table, one won't feel things are unfinished or have any regrets whatsoever as you move into a new relationship.