Step Up

James Cagney once said, ~Perhaps people, and kids especially, are spoiled today because all kids today have cars it seems, When I was young were lucky to have a bike.~ I stand on my proverbial soapbox once again as I say the following statement: kids today are spoiled bratz. For it truly befuddles the mind on the things kids possess in today's society because they not only don't deserve it, but they are just too scared to say no. I apologize ahead of time to any parent who takes what I'm about to say as a personal attack but it has to be said. You see, there are a number of kids today who are seemingly living the good life with certain rights and privileges that when you hear as to what their parents give/do for them your initial response is you gotta be kidding me.

As I said before, it seems to me that these days kids are being given things they in all honesty don't truly deserve or for that matter worked hard for, which is a statement that I wholeheartedly stand by. I think many would agree there are particular parents who give in way too easily these days on their kid's requests or should I say demands on certain things they now have but didn't work hard for. For many of us back in the day we all did chores either around the house or the neighborhood in order to earn an allowance by doing such things as mowing the lawn, raking leaves, babysitting, or whatever the case may be. It's a sad situation indeed when a handful of kids of this generation don't even lift a finger to earn what they have just because it's too hard and/or got too hot.

Without a doubt, cell phones are a permanent fixture in today's society as they are considered technological wonders that many of us back in the day didn't have the privilege to own. Thinking about it, many young kids today are reaping the benefits of having cell phones that do everything from surf the internet to watch tv/movies. Yet, would you as a parent give a child as young as 6/7 years old a cell phone knowing full well he/she doesn't really need it? It's a dicey situation to give young children a cell phone because with features such as texting they are able to send messages without knowing how much they’re racking up until the bill comes. Let me tell you something, we all remember hearing the news of a 13 year old girl who racked up a $4,756 texting bill in one month alone so imagine what a 6/7 year old would do.

Let me ask you this question to many of you parents out there, would you give your 8 year old child a credit card? I think it would be safe to say no parent would allow their 8 year old child to have a credit card in their possession even if they're to use it "for emergencies." You have to question the sanity of any parent who would give a young child...an 8 year old girl mind you...the power to charge whatever she wanted, which is like opening Pandora's box. As the saying goes, with great power comes great responsibility and its the parent's responsibility to know that its a bad idea to give any child, especially at the age of 8, a credit card because its indeed like a kid being in a candy store where they'll get in way over their head buying things that they don't have the money to pay for when the bill comes.

A friend recently said, ~It's a challenge these days. Families aren't always the traditional type we grew up with. It's scary to let kids roam free even in their own neighborhood because of creeps. It used to be that dads brought home the moolah while women tended to the kids. Now it's both parents, when the family has managed to remain intact, that work like crazy. The saying goes: "it takes a village to raise a child"....well, we don't have that sense of "village" much anymore. When I was a kid (a long time ago) people looked out for each other's kids. Our world is changing too fast and it's the kids that are getting the short end of the stick!~ In retrospect, I agree with her as there are a number of parents who aren't being responsible and just letting their kids run the show, so to speak. In the end, to those parents who are incapable of taking control I say you have two choices which are step down or step up.

If Tomorrow Never Comes

Someone once said, ~May the love hidden deep inside your heart find the love waiting in your dreams. May the laughter that you find tomorrow wipe away the pain you find in your yesterdays.~ If you think about it, the word tomorrow can most definitely convey a deep meaning, especially when it pertains to matters of the heart. A person can look forward to their tomorrow happening as he/she patiently waits for that special someone to step into his/her life. Yet, you can't help but wonder to the point of asking yourself if tomorrow will be my time to finally experience true happiness that you know will erase all your yesterdays that unfortunately filled your heart with sadness, frustration, disappointment, anger, bitterness, etc., which is considered a dream come true.

Let me ask you this question to those who are single, how many of you are anxiously waiting for your own tomorrow to happen when it comes to love or true love for that matter? I think for those who are living the single life it can be quite difficult to be the type of person who isn't capable of waiting patiently for love and instead makes their own tomorrow happen now. Hey, you have to give props to those who don't sit idly by and let opportunities for a love match to slip through their fingers to where there is a possibility of a heart to heart connection. For a certain number of people their dreams of a better tomorrow for their own heart has come to fruition and they continue to live for today, tomorrow, as well as for the coming future with their significant other.

If you think about it, for those who throw caution to the wind exuding a carpe diem attitude with their heart and ignore any advice of patiently waiting for tomorrow they tend to find themselves unfortunately looking back to painful yesterdays of heartbreak, sadness, disappointment, frustration, betrayal, anger, etc. It's a sad situation indeed for any person to have their hopes of a better tomorrow filled with genuine love dashed as if it never really existed. Why? Essentially, the eagerness to be with “Mr./Ms. Right Now” can undoubtedly make the pain of being hurt hard to take to where there are the seemingly constant past reminders of how one's blind ambition to fall in love can truly have dire consequences that can be both mentally and emotionally haunting.

For the question can be asked to those who have lived through your past yesterdays of heartache, what has been the one thing that has inevitably helped ease the pain as you try to go about not only moving on, but also attaining closure. Thinking about it, other than partying yourself into a drunken stupor with your bros and/or gal pals its the ability to laugh about what happened in relationship(s) past that can give you an outlet in which you give a humorous spin on his/her stupidity. Oftentimes, being able to laugh at the misfortune of your heart reflecting back at the absolute absurdity of what he/she put you through can initially help in the healing process and for a woman to laugh till she cries with her female friends doing the exact same thing along side with her helps is in all intensive purposes what the doctor ordered.

In retrospect, a person can have this mindset if love doesn't happen for them either today or tomorrow the world is going to end, which is in my opinion quite deluded. What it comes down to is not intently focusing on tomorrow as you just focus instead of living each day with the love of family/friends/God and only then the love you deserve that has all the hopes/dreams deep within their heart will eventually fall into place into yours. In the end, I look forward for my tomorrow to happen someday and He will guide me to a woman I've waited patiently for who I know fulfills all my dreams that I have within my heart into tomorrow, as well as into the coming future, but if tomorrow never comes its okay because I know its not the end the world as God has seen me through my lowest of yesterdays as I pray to Him for the strength to live each day with family/friends by my side.

Deep and Wide

Hazrat Irayat Khan once said, ~Love is living and therefore growing; love is growing and therefore expanding,; there is a no limit to the expansion of love; for its source is divine thus its expansion is perfect.~ Without a doubt, to be in a growing, mature relationship with someone truly special is a life most definitely worth living. For it touches your heart to have someone or hope to have someone in your life who essentially left behind their childish, immature ways in order to establish a more grown up relationship. It's that type of relationship in which the guy/girl grows into a responsible adult and actively works hard to put in the work instead of slacking off, whereby making not only the mental, emotional, as well as spiritual bond grow increasingly stronger, but the bond of love as well.

If you think about it, when you're in a growing, mature adult relationship you want to be with someone who mentally builds you up in a supportive way. Women, more often than not, are somehow in relationships with complete douchebags who mentally abuse them in such a way their self confidence is so progressively battered it affects them to the point where its deeply psychological. It's a sad situation indeed when a woman looks to her man to be a mental motivator of the heart by giving encouraging words/compliments and/or always being told I love you with meaning behind it, but unfortunately what she receives are childish comments/actions that inevitably place doubt in her own mind as to why she continues to be with that guy knowing deep down she deserves much better than him.

As said before, love is growing and therefore expanding which is what you want to have happen when you're with someone who is able to grow/expand emotionally. I think many of you would agree handling particular relationship issues without acting like a 5 year old throwing a temper tantrum because he/she didn't get what he/she wanted or didn't like what needed to be said shows a maturity level beyond all measure. Of course, there are guys/girls...maybe you...who are currently in a relationship with someone who hasn't emotionally grown up at all and because he/she has been acting childish by selfishly wanting what is best for him/her than wanting what's best for the both of you it has put you in considerable stress leaving you with no choice but to hopefully do what's best for you.

Psalm 1:3 says, ~And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.~ Let me ask you this question to those in a potential and/or significant relationship, how many of you are growing spiritually together in God's love as both of you are deeply planted in His word to where it bringeth forth fruits that are in abundance of happiness and blessing when it pertains to work, family, friends etc. Essentially, to have a growing, mature relationship with the one you love, you must first maturely grow in God's love through seeds of prayer and the reading of His word because you can't bear fruit, so to speak, when the decisions you selfishly make with your heart aren't coinciding with His will for not only your life, but also the one you love as well.

Larry A. Bugen said, ~Mature love offers us our most profound opportunity for regaining wholeness - not because our partners will fill all of our emptiness, but because we can use the embrace of a loving relationship to nurture ourselves toward greater maturation and ripening.~ In retrospect, every person wants to be in a mature relationship that continues to grow stronger each day and it takes large amounts of courage to do so. It can be scary to grow up in matters of the heart by yourself but when have someone with that same courage of willing/wanting to grow up to face whatever problems that may come in a mature, adult manner along side you into the unknown all-the-while praying to God for His guidance then my friend its a perfect love that is in the end both deep and wide.

Nothing But Net

Basketball Hall of Famer "Pistol" Pete Maravich once said, ~Love never fails; character never quits, and with patience and persistence,; dreams do come true.~ In some aspect, love is like the game of basketball as those who are single are looking to permanently go one on one with someone truly special on the so called court of the heart. Yet, instead of a basketball in our hand it's our very own heart that we in all intents and purposes dribble with as we try to or should I say attempt to make pivotal shots into the hoop of someone else's heart. For the metaphorical hoop of that particular person's heart is a representation of your hopes, dreams, and all the excitement you're shooting for, so to speak, when it pertains to absolute true happiness.

If you think about it, when you're playing basketball you're considered part of a team that works together in order to accomplish a common goal, which is winning a championship ring. In a sense, when you become part of a relationship you work together to one day accomplish the goal of winning a ring and in this case the championship ring means the one that bonds two people in marriage. Women, more so than men, have waited or still waiting for their championship ring to be placed on their finger but unfortunately they've found themselves either on a Clipper like team that is absolutely going nowhere or she found out her former teammate wasn't focused on the relationship because the guy was secretly dealing under the table with another team behind her back.

Without a doubt, every person has heard the phrase there is no I in TEAM and that is very true, especially when it comes to love or true love for that matter. As I said before, being on a basketball team means to one day accomplish a common goal by working together and not selfishly doing it all on your own ala Kobe Bryant. Thinking about it, that is not what being in a significant relationship is about as it takes two people who can achieve as a cohesive unit a mindset in which they both can quickly switch from offense to defense or vice versa. Essentially, each one of us wants a guy/girl who unselfishly thinks about their teammate more than one thinks about himself/herself and to have that type of relationship can make the two of you an unstoppable, dominant force to be reckoned with.

Let me ask you this question, what is one of the most important parts in winning a basketball game? I think many basketball aficionados agree that being able to shoot free throws at critical moments is integral and in somewhat the same context as love guys, as well as girls will come to a point where they will stand at the free throw line when they're in a foul situation they caused or merely in a situation where paying close attention concerning what one knows about their significant other can either be good or bad. It's tough indeed to be put in that sometimes high pressure situation as a person stands there sweating like Shaq at the foul line hoping to gain points or end up missing completely to the point where you not only disappoint yourself, but your teammate as well.

In retrospect, you have to work hard at what you love as the time and patience you put in will be a slam dunk as it ultimately pays dividends in the near future as your dreams will come true. Oftentimes, we can be scared at having our heart being blocked/rejected when we shoot to where it can end up being an air ball, but that is to be expected. What it comes down to is either backing off and missing out on the chance of turning the tide in your favor or executing a full court press showing you're not afraid to fight to steal one's heart, in a good way, and grab those rebounds on possibly missed shots with a Dennis Rodman like physicality. In the end, when you do finally have a teammate who works with you, is able to pass/handle problems/issues smoothly, knows what you're thinking to where you can execute a no look pass, and makes those unexpected 3 pointers that will hopefully put not just a smile on his/her face, but yours as well you know it's going to be nothing but net.