Rainer Maria Wilke once said, ~Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions.~ In some aspect, every person is considered to be a detective trying to individually solve the one case that seemingly tends to be left unsolved as it pertains to matters of our own heart. For some people its an open and shut case when it comes to love as they followed the right leads in meeting someone who fits the description of true happiness whereas for others it continues to be an ongoing investigation that can be overwhelmingly tedious, tiresome, and most definitely frustrating.
If you think about it, each of us have an internal cabinet located within our heart that essentially holds files marked love and heartbreak. For when one looks over those internal files you can in all intents and purposes either read one file that leaves you with a glowing smile on your face or read an unfortunate and sometimes frightening detailed report of past relationships that cause you to cringe. Why cringe? What it primarily comes down to are the personal horror stories you never want to remember and yet you do. I think we can all agree being able to keep those particular files marked heartbreak under lock and key never to be read again, so to speak, keeps you from experiencing all over again a plethora of unwanted, painful, mixed emotions.
Without a doubt, there are times where you feel as if you're interrogating your own heart to the point of forcibly trying to seek out answers to certain questions. Questions such as: What am I doing wrong that I constantly end up facing frustration, heartbreak, hopelessness, disappointment, etc.? How many times do I continually put myself out there in hopes of having someone I like like me back before I just give up entirely? Its questions like these and many others similar to it that you can, in a sense, have a good cop/bad cop situation within your own heart leading you to metaphorically beat up/slap it around, in a manner of speaking, in order to get the questions you want answered even if it means hearing the harsh truth about yourself.
For the question can be asked, when you're a detective what is one of the most essential aspects of the job in solving important cases because if you're wrong the case is ruined? If you said making a solid connection you're correct because in any relationship having a solid connection with that special someone is key. However, it's oftentimes difficult to figure out the type of connection you have with that particular guy/girl of interest because the connection you may be feeling is quite possibly different from what he/she is feeling. Essentially, you have to keep investigating, not be afraid to ask the tough questions, and hope the connection you have with each other grows increasingly solid to the point where you establish a truly strong partnership.
In retrospect, love is something that can be solved as all the clues are there for each and every one of us to piece together. Of course, some pieces may not fit and that's to be expected because love is about being patient enough to figure out whether or not the clues/evidence/information you have in front of you are 100% correct. Thinking about it, nobody ever wants to end up getting stabbed in the heart and become just another sad victim of love to where there will always be a permanent chalk outline around your heart leaving it an open case that may never get solved. In the end, if you're lucky enough to have a partner who is helping you solve or has solved what's been missing in your heart and vice versa then I say to you case closed.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Rollin' (500th Yodaism)
Susan B. Anthony once said, ~Sooner or later we all discover that the moments in life are not the advertised ones; not the birthdays, the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less prepossessing. They come to the door of memory unannounced, stray dogs that amble in, sniff around a bit and simply never leave. Our lives are measured by these.~ Without a doubt, many of you have been sitting in the so-called passenger seat as I've been behind the wheel, so to speak, taking you on a mental journey when it involves my own thoughts. A journey in which the moments of my own observations of not only every day of life, as well as matters of the heart have led me to a quintessential milestone moment as this particular thought marks the 500th yodaism.
Let me ask you this question, how long have many of you been in all intensive purposes sitting shotgun right along with me as you took a journey with me on a semi-daily basis into a place that I refer to as the inner sanctum. For its a place that family, friends, acquaintances, and complete strangers have in a sense entered into the proverbial hallowed halls of my mind and read my thoughts. It's those thoughts that are oftentimes personal that have initially given you insight as to what is going on in my head, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. You see, it's from my own experiences in facing a seemingly long, winding road of disappointment and frustration that it has given me the opportunity to have an open forum to express how I feel, gradually making the mental journey easier to tolerate.
I think we can all agree it's good to have friends along for the ride, in a manner of speaking, who are able to try to keep you focused on the positive rather than the negative aspects of the journey of life. You can most definitely be truly appreciative for the words of encouragement when encountering mental potholes that are a representation of frustration, confusion, anger, angst, etc, leading you to doubt whether or not you're capable of experiencing true happiness. Looking back at the miles of road mentally traveled I've had my ups and downs, but if it weren't for those words of encouragement that have made the ride a little less bumpier I would be absolutely lost. Let me tell you something, to each and every one of you who have given not only words of encouragement, but also words of wisdom concerning matters of the heart I tip my hat to you.
Thinking about it, it's the ideas, as well as, the memories I've been able to tap into whether they were bad or good are the fuel that have kept my mind firing on all cylinders for so long. Yet, it's not so much my own ideas and memories that have helped me gain the mental mileage over the years as it is the ideas and memories coming from many of you who have shared your own sometimes deeply touching personal experiences. Experiences that are either heartfelt, humorous, serious, and thought provoking, and you felt comfortable enough to trust me to share those particular stories. I have to admit, writing and sending out what has been on my mind as of late is something that I enjoy doing, but what I thoroughly enjoy even more are the responses that I get back as people add and/or give their own insights as to what I've put my 2 cents on when it pertains to a particular topic.
In retrospect, it's amazing how far you can mentally stretch yourself and see where your thoughts can take you. I would have never believed in my wildest dreams that when I started writing my first Yodaism after graduating High School in 1996 that 12 years later I would be writing what would now be my 500th yodaism. What it comes down to is being able to break through those mental barriers and not be afraid to be open, honest, as well as, straight forward with everything that your thinking about to the point where you're able go beyond what you're mentally capable of as you talk about things that weigh on your mind such as love. In the end, I say to those of you who have been on this mental journey with me from the start are you read to keep rollin', which is a song from Limp Bizkit that best reflects this thought.
Let me ask you this question, how long have many of you been in all intensive purposes sitting shotgun right along with me as you took a journey with me on a semi-daily basis into a place that I refer to as the inner sanctum. For its a place that family, friends, acquaintances, and complete strangers have in a sense entered into the proverbial hallowed halls of my mind and read my thoughts. It's those thoughts that are oftentimes personal that have initially given you insight as to what is going on in my head, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. You see, it's from my own experiences in facing a seemingly long, winding road of disappointment and frustration that it has given me the opportunity to have an open forum to express how I feel, gradually making the mental journey easier to tolerate.
I think we can all agree it's good to have friends along for the ride, in a manner of speaking, who are able to try to keep you focused on the positive rather than the negative aspects of the journey of life. You can most definitely be truly appreciative for the words of encouragement when encountering mental potholes that are a representation of frustration, confusion, anger, angst, etc, leading you to doubt whether or not you're capable of experiencing true happiness. Looking back at the miles of road mentally traveled I've had my ups and downs, but if it weren't for those words of encouragement that have made the ride a little less bumpier I would be absolutely lost. Let me tell you something, to each and every one of you who have given not only words of encouragement, but also words of wisdom concerning matters of the heart I tip my hat to you.
Thinking about it, it's the ideas, as well as, the memories I've been able to tap into whether they were bad or good are the fuel that have kept my mind firing on all cylinders for so long. Yet, it's not so much my own ideas and memories that have helped me gain the mental mileage over the years as it is the ideas and memories coming from many of you who have shared your own sometimes deeply touching personal experiences. Experiences that are either heartfelt, humorous, serious, and thought provoking, and you felt comfortable enough to trust me to share those particular stories. I have to admit, writing and sending out what has been on my mind as of late is something that I enjoy doing, but what I thoroughly enjoy even more are the responses that I get back as people add and/or give their own insights as to what I've put my 2 cents on when it pertains to a particular topic.
In retrospect, it's amazing how far you can mentally stretch yourself and see where your thoughts can take you. I would have never believed in my wildest dreams that when I started writing my first Yodaism after graduating High School in 1996 that 12 years later I would be writing what would now be my 500th yodaism. What it comes down to is being able to break through those mental barriers and not be afraid to be open, honest, as well as, straight forward with everything that your thinking about to the point where you're able go beyond what you're mentally capable of as you talk about things that weigh on your mind such as love. In the end, I say to those of you who have been on this mental journey with me from the start are you read to keep rollin', which is a song from Limp Bizkit that best reflects this thought.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
My Generation
Bill Cosby once said, ~My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own parenthood, but it didn't because parenting can be learned only by people who have no children.~ Let me ask you this question, when you look back at your own childhood in connection with how you were raised back in the day and compared it to how a certain number of kids are being raised today you most definitely learn quite a few things. For I apologize ahead of time if any of you who have children take what I'm saying personally on how things have changed immensely when it pertains to the attitude and behavior of a child as it comes from someone who even though doesn't have children does have the experience in working in the childcare profession for a better part of a decade.
If you think about it, we as kids lived in a totally different era as each of us grew up knowing who not only the boss was, but also who was absolutely in control. I think we can all agree that when you were given the all-too-familiar look or heard that unmistakeable tone in your parent's voice as your full name is being called out you knew it was time to shape up or immediately suffer the consequences. Unfortunately, those two particular methods are seemingly no longer an effective tool for today's parents who are losing control or should I say easily giving it up to their child. For its a sad situation indeed when a parent would rather give in to the tantrums/demands of a child because in their own minds it greatly reduces their stress level, but all it truly does is simply add to it.
Without a doubt, we all knew the rules to follow as kids and one of those rules you learned was to behave and not make any type of scene that thoroughly embarrassed one's parents to the point of fearfully suffering the consequences. Personally speaking, my best friend and I were at the golden arches waiting for our order when we, as well as, every other patron in there witnessed two young brothers getting into an argument that inevitably turned into an all out fist fight. What did the parent do you may be wondering? Absolutely nothing and despite not being concerned or embarrassed for that matter of the scene they made I surely was because if that were my brother and I we both would have been grabbed by our ears and hauled out of there immediately.
For the question can be asked to any of you parents, what would you do if your young child slapped you across the face? Would you use child psychology and talk it out with your child or use the child psychology that has essentially helped straighten out a child like myself, which is a good old fashioned butt whoopin'. You see, the one thing you learned never to do is be so bold as to hit or slap your mom or dad because you're mad or didn't want to do what you were told. Hey, back in my day it took one time only and if you refused to listen you were in for a punishment of biblical proportions that you may or may not live from. It truly befuddles the mind how young kids today aren't afraid to step up to their parents and say or do things that are just so astounding you're rendered speechless.
In retrospect, when you look at today's generation of kids you worry that they may not be able to survive in the real world as they’re being coddled way too much. Why? Parents know so much more about the world today when it concerns their child/children they feel it's in their best interest to protect them from being hurt or whatever the case may be to the point of being overprotective. In the end, if you were a child who grew up not negatively affected from drinking from the water hose, cried only a few tears after hurting yourself doing something like riding your bike, or disappeared for hours on end to play with friends without any worried concern from your parents knowing where you were then my friend you can proudly say that was my generation.
If you think about it, we as kids lived in a totally different era as each of us grew up knowing who not only the boss was, but also who was absolutely in control. I think we can all agree that when you were given the all-too-familiar look or heard that unmistakeable tone in your parent's voice as your full name is being called out you knew it was time to shape up or immediately suffer the consequences. Unfortunately, those two particular methods are seemingly no longer an effective tool for today's parents who are losing control or should I say easily giving it up to their child. For its a sad situation indeed when a parent would rather give in to the tantrums/demands of a child because in their own minds it greatly reduces their stress level, but all it truly does is simply add to it.
Without a doubt, we all knew the rules to follow as kids and one of those rules you learned was to behave and not make any type of scene that thoroughly embarrassed one's parents to the point of fearfully suffering the consequences. Personally speaking, my best friend and I were at the golden arches waiting for our order when we, as well as, every other patron in there witnessed two young brothers getting into an argument that inevitably turned into an all out fist fight. What did the parent do you may be wondering? Absolutely nothing and despite not being concerned or embarrassed for that matter of the scene they made I surely was because if that were my brother and I we both would have been grabbed by our ears and hauled out of there immediately.
For the question can be asked to any of you parents, what would you do if your young child slapped you across the face? Would you use child psychology and talk it out with your child or use the child psychology that has essentially helped straighten out a child like myself, which is a good old fashioned butt whoopin'. You see, the one thing you learned never to do is be so bold as to hit or slap your mom or dad because you're mad or didn't want to do what you were told. Hey, back in my day it took one time only and if you refused to listen you were in for a punishment of biblical proportions that you may or may not live from. It truly befuddles the mind how young kids today aren't afraid to step up to their parents and say or do things that are just so astounding you're rendered speechless.
In retrospect, when you look at today's generation of kids you worry that they may not be able to survive in the real world as they’re being coddled way too much. Why? Parents know so much more about the world today when it concerns their child/children they feel it's in their best interest to protect them from being hurt or whatever the case may be to the point of being overprotective. In the end, if you were a child who grew up not negatively affected from drinking from the water hose, cried only a few tears after hurting yourself doing something like riding your bike, or disappeared for hours on end to play with friends without any worried concern from your parents knowing where you were then my friend you can proudly say that was my generation.
Saturday, June 07, 2008
No Doubt
Pierre Obelard once said, ~The beginning of wisdom is found in doubting, by doubting we come to question, and by seeking we may come upon the truth.~ As a guy you can oftentimes place doubt on yourself leading to question whether or not one can live to certain expectations, especially when it involves matters of the heart. I think I can safely say that every guy has been in a situation where we've actually doubted or currently doubting the qualities/attributes considered to be endearing to the point of wondering is it simply enough or is there more you can possibly do to stand out in order to have yourself be seen by the female species. Thinking about it though, during times of doubt you can most definitely find yourself learning a lot more than you ever bargained for.
Without a doubt, guys like myself tend to second guess ourselves so many times over as to what we can possibly offer to the opposite sex to where there is a gradual turn into a sarcastic cynic after experiencing times of frustration. For its truly difficult to keep a positive outlook when disappointment, heartache, and rejection cause us to constantly re-evaluate the qualities/attributes that tend to take hit/brutal beating, so to speak, leading us to not only be broken down, but to also to question as to what the true measure of a man is. Is it measured by height, how strong he is, how hot of a muscular body you have, and/or how stunningly good looking you are? In my opinion, the true measure of man is found in the strength and resiliency of his heart that is able to keep on beating through times of hurt.
If you think about it, the qualities/attributes that many women look for in a guy can be considered a catch 22 causing us to be very doubtful. Why? Women, for the most part, want a funny, caring, kind, sensitive, honest, smart, nice guy who won't take advantage of her when she's in an absolutely vulnerable place and yet it's those same qualities/attributes that can essentially be found in a male gay friend. As absurd as that may sound, guys come to a point where we freak out at the possibility of just being seen as the quintessential great friend/good listener, which myself and probably many other guys have possibly experienced many times before. You see, as much as a guy hates to hear those 4 words being uttered by a woman, you accept the responsibility because you can't ever change who you are.
Personally speaking, questions have been raised from my peers concerning a certain female I mentioned in a past Yodaisms in which I've been advised to go for it because in their own words life is too short to not be able to seize the opportunity life hands you. My response back to them is that I've seized the opportunity many times and it has ended up not working out too well. When it comes to the particular female in question I highly doubt there is even the slightest bit of interest on her part in me even though they've supposedly pointed out certain things to dissuade my thinking. As I said before I like her and because I like her I'm not going to make an impulsive mistake that turns into a regret and whether you agree or disagree with the decision it's mine alone that matters not yours.
In retrospect, when you're a guy, doubt will always come into play when it comes to matters of the heart because the sarcastic cynic within you can't help being overly pessimistic. It's a scary situation indeed to not know what the future holds when it pertains to your own happiness and there comes a point where you wonder how long can a person hold on to hope before you end up letting it completely go. What it comes down to is a matter of patience as you pray to God for guidance and have faith in Him to do his work because after all its all in his timing. In the end, there is no doubt that my prayers will be answered as I meet a woman who is able to see the true measure of man by looking in the one place that counts and that is in my heart, but to have it happen any time soon...I doubt it.
Without a doubt, guys like myself tend to second guess ourselves so many times over as to what we can possibly offer to the opposite sex to where there is a gradual turn into a sarcastic cynic after experiencing times of frustration. For its truly difficult to keep a positive outlook when disappointment, heartache, and rejection cause us to constantly re-evaluate the qualities/attributes that tend to take hit/brutal beating, so to speak, leading us to not only be broken down, but to also to question as to what the true measure of a man is. Is it measured by height, how strong he is, how hot of a muscular body you have, and/or how stunningly good looking you are? In my opinion, the true measure of man is found in the strength and resiliency of his heart that is able to keep on beating through times of hurt.
If you think about it, the qualities/attributes that many women look for in a guy can be considered a catch 22 causing us to be very doubtful. Why? Women, for the most part, want a funny, caring, kind, sensitive, honest, smart, nice guy who won't take advantage of her when she's in an absolutely vulnerable place and yet it's those same qualities/attributes that can essentially be found in a male gay friend. As absurd as that may sound, guys come to a point where we freak out at the possibility of just being seen as the quintessential great friend/good listener, which myself and probably many other guys have possibly experienced many times before. You see, as much as a guy hates to hear those 4 words being uttered by a woman, you accept the responsibility because you can't ever change who you are.
Personally speaking, questions have been raised from my peers concerning a certain female I mentioned in a past Yodaisms in which I've been advised to go for it because in their own words life is too short to not be able to seize the opportunity life hands you. My response back to them is that I've seized the opportunity many times and it has ended up not working out too well. When it comes to the particular female in question I highly doubt there is even the slightest bit of interest on her part in me even though they've supposedly pointed out certain things to dissuade my thinking. As I said before I like her and because I like her I'm not going to make an impulsive mistake that turns into a regret and whether you agree or disagree with the decision it's mine alone that matters not yours.
In retrospect, when you're a guy, doubt will always come into play when it comes to matters of the heart because the sarcastic cynic within you can't help being overly pessimistic. It's a scary situation indeed to not know what the future holds when it pertains to your own happiness and there comes a point where you wonder how long can a person hold on to hope before you end up letting it completely go. What it comes down to is a matter of patience as you pray to God for guidance and have faith in Him to do his work because after all its all in his timing. In the end, there is no doubt that my prayers will be answered as I meet a woman who is able to see the true measure of man by looking in the one place that counts and that is in my heart, but to have it happen any time soon...I doubt it.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
You Raise Me Up
William Shakespeare once said, ~Love asks no questions and gives me endless support.~ Let me ask you this question, what is considered one of the things you look for in a relationship? I think we can all agree having a truly great support system backing you up is important, especially when it pertains to a potential and/or significant other. Women, more often than not, want a guy who is able to be supportive no matter what and doesn't question the decisions they make knowing full well it may possibly be the wrong ones. For a woman, love means not just being there supporting her when achieving times of success, but also being there for her in times of complete failure as well that can most definitely affect her in three ways: personally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Without a doubt, every woman greatly appreciates having a guy who is personally supportive in such a way that he becomes a close personal confidant in which she is able to share in confidence every aspect of her life knowing they'll be handled with care. It's about establishing trust as she's comfortable enough to share certain issues regarding matters of the heart, family, friendships, etc, that weigh heavily on her mind, whereby giving her the opportunity to freely vent her frustration without suffering any negative repercussions because of it. Hey, a woman can feel good inside knowing that she has a guy who she can always turn to anytime to talk to, have listen, and possibly give helpful/valuable feedback in the process to the point where it leaves a great big smile on her face.
If you think about it, having a guy who can be emotionally supportive to her needs is a quality that most women are looking for. As a guy, it's oftentimes difficult to understand what any woman is going through or how she is feeling for that matter, leading us to do the only logical thing and that is to give positive rather than negative reinforcement. Unfortunately, guys can mistakenly do more harm than good as they can become so frustrated at not knowing how to fix the problem that has inevitably made them cry, angry or whatever the case may be. In any case, for any woman that is truly lucky enough to have a guy who is able to tap into their sensitive side and do something such as cry or open up in order to be more emotionally connected I tip my hat to you.
For the question can be asked of you ladies, how many of you are spiritually supported all-the-while receiving strength when you go through your ups and down. Thinking about it, It's excellent to have the spiritual support from a guy who prays for you/with you when you need strength and yet to have that same support as you look to the Lord Jesus Christ by praying to him strengthens you even more. Philippians 4:13 says, ~I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.~ Essentially, having the strength of two men in your life that love/care about you is amazing because you have the support of a guy who is willing to give up his life for you at the drop of a hat while the other already has given up his life to pay for your sins so that he could continue to support, you, as well as, all mankind.
In retrospect, it's a tough situation indeed for any woman to stay evenly balanced when aspects of a relationship or lack thereof tend to throw them personally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually off balance to the point of becoming exhausted. Its astounding the burdens you women experience on a semi-daily basis that can most definitely become so overwhelming you reach out for some much needed stability. How many of you ladies can honestly and genuinely know with 100% assurance say you have a guy in your life that no matter how life gets rocky you can turn to him for that much needed support. In the end, whether its in person, in spirit, or by prayer you can say to him with a smile on your face by your support you raise me up in every way when there have been times I felt like sinking deep within myself, which is a song by Josh Groban that best reflects this thought.
Without a doubt, every woman greatly appreciates having a guy who is personally supportive in such a way that he becomes a close personal confidant in which she is able to share in confidence every aspect of her life knowing they'll be handled with care. It's about establishing trust as she's comfortable enough to share certain issues regarding matters of the heart, family, friendships, etc, that weigh heavily on her mind, whereby giving her the opportunity to freely vent her frustration without suffering any negative repercussions because of it. Hey, a woman can feel good inside knowing that she has a guy who she can always turn to anytime to talk to, have listen, and possibly give helpful/valuable feedback in the process to the point where it leaves a great big smile on her face.
If you think about it, having a guy who can be emotionally supportive to her needs is a quality that most women are looking for. As a guy, it's oftentimes difficult to understand what any woman is going through or how she is feeling for that matter, leading us to do the only logical thing and that is to give positive rather than negative reinforcement. Unfortunately, guys can mistakenly do more harm than good as they can become so frustrated at not knowing how to fix the problem that has inevitably made them cry, angry or whatever the case may be. In any case, for any woman that is truly lucky enough to have a guy who is able to tap into their sensitive side and do something such as cry or open up in order to be more emotionally connected I tip my hat to you.
For the question can be asked of you ladies, how many of you are spiritually supported all-the-while receiving strength when you go through your ups and down. Thinking about it, It's excellent to have the spiritual support from a guy who prays for you/with you when you need strength and yet to have that same support as you look to the Lord Jesus Christ by praying to him strengthens you even more. Philippians 4:13 says, ~I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.~ Essentially, having the strength of two men in your life that love/care about you is amazing because you have the support of a guy who is willing to give up his life for you at the drop of a hat while the other already has given up his life to pay for your sins so that he could continue to support, you, as well as, all mankind.
In retrospect, it's a tough situation indeed for any woman to stay evenly balanced when aspects of a relationship or lack thereof tend to throw them personally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually off balance to the point of becoming exhausted. Its astounding the burdens you women experience on a semi-daily basis that can most definitely become so overwhelming you reach out for some much needed stability. How many of you ladies can honestly and genuinely know with 100% assurance say you have a guy in your life that no matter how life gets rocky you can turn to him for that much needed support. In the end, whether its in person, in spirit, or by prayer you can say to him with a smile on your face by your support you raise me up in every way when there have been times I felt like sinking deep within myself, which is a song by Josh Groban that best reflects this thought.
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