Heart To Heart

Someone once said, ~Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart.~ Without a doubt, when it comes to matters of the heart its oftentimes best to in all intensive purposes walk softly in establishing a potential relationship instead of running full speed ahead to where you possibly end up experiencing an unfortunate fall that leaves you absolutely embarrassed, which I can safely say many of us have been through in the past. What I'm trying to say is you have to take the time to truly get the know the person you're interested in first on a level that doesn't primarily focus on the physical aspect of establishing a relationship, but more on the personal, emotional, mental, and spiritual aspect by doing something that seems foreign to certain people...taking the time to have a one on one conversation.

Let me ask you this question, how many of you took the time to actually get to know your significant other before ever getting together? You see, the old school way of courting has fallen by the wayside as men and women immediately hook up not knowing whether or not they're truly compatible with each other. Of course the outward attraction is most definitely there, but its the all important inward attraction that helps determine not only how very different both of you are, but how much you are also alike as well. Thinking about it further, it's the differences rather than the similarities that are considered to be much more compelling as it gives you a chance to find out certain surprising tidbits/facts about a certain someone like the fact a certain woman enjoys having her piece of cake cold over having it warm any day because the icing tastes so much better.

If you think about it, having that line of open communication with that certain someone you're interested in gives you the opportunity to ask relevant questions that hopefully aren't too personal in nature. For it gives you the chance to feel your way around, in a manner of speaking, on the particular person's reaction concerning the answers to your questions and vice versa making the atmosphere between the two of you comfortable enough to open up yourselves even more. Women, more than anything, want that type of intimacy with a guy who will tread lightly and treat the answers she reveals to him with utmost respect, especially when those certain questions he asks pertain to past love/relationships. Essentially, a woman won't ever be afraid to answer those questions because she knows with a 100% surety he has one of things that means so much to her...trust.

Personally speaking, there has been a woman I've been chatting with on and off for two years who I've gotten to know quite well. She and I have had conversations that would last for hours on end leaving a smile on both our faces inevitably establishing a fairly tight connection, but to my chagrin that connection was halted for quite some time solely on my part because of just plain laziness. In any case, it wasn't until "running into her" on Facebook that the connection was re-established leading us to not only chat with each other once again, but also text to where a gradual closeness happened as we shared more of ourselves and put trust within each other to keep those personal matters on the down low. Do I like her? Yes I do. Do I have feelings for her? I really don't know. Essentially, I'm just going to go with the flow and enjoy every minute that I spend time getting to know her.

In retrospect, matters of the heart are not to be rushed as it can be seen in the context of a marathon instead of an all out sprint being in a place that you want to be in. For some, most, or all people they quite frankly don't have a clue as to what the next logical step is because they skipped a major step entirely leaving both people in an awkward position. When it comes to my own situation I'm taking my time despite the advice from my peers to go for it, but I'm not going to because she's worth taking the time for. To be perfectly honest I would rather lose her to another guy than to blow it by doing or saying something that messes up the close relationship we already share. In the end, I say to you don't rush into things with that certain someone of interest and by taking your time in getting to know him or her you'll gradually develop a strong, cohesive heart to heart connection. sses up the close relationship we already share. In the end, I say to you don't rush into things with that certain someone of interest and by taking your time in getting to know him or her you'll gradually develop a strong, cohesive heart to heart connection.

Find The Joy

Audre Lorde once said, ~The sharing of joy, whether physical, emotional, psyche, or intellectual forms a bridge between the shares which can be bares for understanding much of what is not shared between them and lessens the threat of their differences.~ Let me ask you this question, what brings you joy in life? For it's that type of permanent rather than temporary kind of joy in which your left absolutely fulfilled. You see, there are countless people, places, and/or things that can bring joy into our lives and the same can be said when it pertains to yourself reciprocating joy back as well. Yet, the question remains, how many of you have not only brought life to someone to where you've unknowingly made a difference in it as well?

If you think about it, when it comes to our job one can most definitely go through a seemingly gradual decline in enthusiasm. You see, from the point where each of us began to now we tend to somewhere along the line lose that go get'em attitude as certain aspects pertaining to the job itself affect you in such a negative way. One such negative aspect is drama related to a particular employee or group of employees who makes one's working environment non enjoyable as they have nothing better to do than to stir the proverbial pot to make the situation even more complicated than it already is. However, amidst the drama that can be physically, emotionally, as well as, mentally draining you can always count on that one person to make you laugh when drama in the workplace gets overwhelming.

Without a doubt, it can be difficult to understand the friendships shared with certain people because on one hand it can be considered a great joy and on the other hand it's also a great pain as well. What do I mean? Essentially, having the type of friends each of us are associated with we can put up with a lot that can test our patience and yet we are still able to laugh/hang around with him/her/them despite those particular annoying traits/habits that can get under our skin. Take a look at your own circle of friends and think about who amongst your crew has constantly tested the limits of your very own patience so many times over that you're not surprised you haven't killed him or her? What it comes down to is that without patience in the so-called friendship equation there is no joy.

For the question can be asked, how many of you believe joy can be experienced when you look at the face of an innocent child? I think many parents would agree that you can't explain the joy in having and raising kids unless you become a parent yourself, which can also be a catch 22...but I digress. Though I am not a parent, I do have many friends who are and from looking at them you're able to see the love in their eyes for a little human being that was created by two people as they experience/see firsthand the joys of parenthood. Such joys are watching them come into the world as they hear him or her cry out loud, having him/her see you for the first time with their own eyes, taking their very first steps, saying their first words, their first tooth coming out, and so much more.

In the movie The Bucket List Morgan Freeman's character shared information with Jack Nicholson's character about how the ancient Egyptians had a beautiful belief about death and that when their souls got to the entrance to heaven, the guards asked two questions inevitably determining whether they were able to enter or not by their answer. Those two questions were: ‘Have you found joy in your life?’ and 'Has your life brought joy to others?’ In retrospect, to answer those two questions you have to take a good look at your life and see if you found someone/something that gives you joy like art, dancing, or whatever the case may be and in turn see if that joy gives joy to others. In the end, find the joy that brings out the best in your life to where your life makes a positive difference in others.

One Word

Kristen Kappel once said, ~Love is something you can't describe like the look of a rose, the smell of rain, or the feeling of forever.~ Without a doubt, when it comes to love or being in love it can be difficult to describe in words how you feel for that special someone. For it makes you feel good inside to have that guy or girl in your life who means the world to you and you most definitely want to verbally express how you truly feel about him or her from the heart, but you can't. Why? Oftentimes, words aren't enough to accurately describe that one person you thank God every single day for sending him/her to you and vice versa. Essentially, there comes a point where the love you have in your heart can simply best be put into a hopefully understandable metaphor.

Let me ask you this question, do you believe love is capable of making the surrounding air you breathe smell so fresh and sweet. It would be safe to say that every person has heard the old saying that the one you love is like a fresh of air as the purity of his or her love fills your lungs without causing you to experience discomfort as you both inhale/exhale inevitably making it easier for you to breathe. However, it's a sad situation indeed when you've experienced in the past love that ended up leaving you unable to breathe properly because the quality of air from a bad past relationship was tainted as it filled you lungs with so much anger, pain, bitterness, heartache, etc that your heart is, in a sense, suffocating from the lack of truth that you want in a relationship.

If you think about it, love can sometimes be compared to a shining light that brightens your darkest of days. In some apsect, when you share your life with someone who brightens up your day with an encouraging, glowing smile when you're down either physically, emotionally, mentally, and/or spiritually it just lights up your heart. Thinking about it, it's a light that embraces you with the warmth of an everlasting, tender, caring, respectful, compassionate, and loving friendship. How many of you can truly say you have a guy or girl who is not only considered to be your very own guiding light that helped you during a time of experiencing a personal darkness, but never turned his/her back on you when you reached out for him/her to pull you out of it.

Metaphorically speaking, does the love from a potential/significant other compare to that of a solid foundation? In other words, is he or she your proverbial solid rock who is the quintessential strong support system and you absolutely know wholeheartedly that he or she will hold you up when the world around you falls apart. I think we can all agree that in order to have a strong support system you must build a concrete foundation. A foundation in which you pour honesty, trust, faith, love, commitment, communication, hard work, etc. whereby giving the relationship you both built together an excellent chance to thrive, especially when seen or unseen circumstances threaten to shake the foundation to its very core, whereby testing how much strength there really is in the loving relationship.

In retrospect, love is something that is simply indescribable and trying to explain it in words can leave you frustrated. Frustrated in the good kind of way of course because you're with someone who is able to understand what you're trying to say even though you have no idea what you're saying...if that makes any sense to you. Personally speaking, I'm not in love or know the feeling of falling love, but I know the feeling of liking or having a crush on someone. Anyways, I hope someday to be in the position to the point where I have no idea how to describe or say in words how I exactly feel. In the end, when or if I do fall in love all the descriptions wouldn't accurately pinpoint what I want to say, but if it came down to one word it would be...amazing, which is a song by former American Idol contestant Eliot Yamin.

Survivor

Henry Adams once said, ~You say that love is nonsense...I tell you it is no such thing. For weeks and months it is a steady physical pain, an ache about the heart, never leading one by night or day, a long strain on one's nerves like a toothache or rheumatism, not tolerable at any one instant, but exhausting by its steady drain on the strength.~ Let me ask you this question, how many of you have experienced or are experiencing a time of pain and heartache that has left you physically, mentally, and emotionally drained within your heart? For its that type of pain and heartache that sticks with you affecting you in such a way you're not only tired of all the games/bs, but you also come to a point where you're basically fed up with the entire male/female species who, in your mind, are just a bunch of liars, cheaters, a**holes, or whatever the case may be.

Without a doubt, it's a difficult situation indeed to endure the painful heartbreak of either being cheated on, embarrassingly dumped, treated with disrespect, etc. all-the-while trying to keep a smile on your face to show those close to or around you that you're fine, which is what many women tend to do. You see, it's the emotional attachment women hold on to and is sometimes hard to break when it pertains to a particular guy that can in all instruments and purposes suck the life out of them causing great distress, which can be inherently seen by the tears being shed filled with a plethora of mixed emotions/feelings like anger, bitterness, contempt, spite, hatred, confusion, love, self pity, doubt, regret, etc. What it comes down to is the wasted emotional energy you've put into a relationship that has only two feet in, so to speak, instead of four.

As said before, the pangs of love can oftentimes be a long strain on one's nerves like a toothache or rheumatism. It would be safe to say there have been many of you whose nerves have been strained involving a past relationship leaving you frazzled to the point that if the potential/significant other you are currently with does something remotely similar it gets under your skin. It gets under your skin, so much so, you lash out verbally and nonverbally to where the person of interest has absolutely no idea what is going on, whereby causing you to work yourself up into a frenzy essentially sapping what's left of the physical strength in your heart. Thinking about it, whether it's something big like breaking your trust or something insignificant like laughing at an unfunny situation at your expense can truly have long lasting effects, especially for women.

For the question can be asked to those who finally were able to wake up, in a manner of speaking, after tolerating for so long being in a relationship for months and even years that wasn't going anywhere. It's a sad situation indeed when only one person is trying hard and doing everything in their power to make the relationship work while the other person is just half heartedly working at it or not at all. There most definitely comes a point where so many questions are raised that run through your mind that it can become mentally exhausting figuring out those particular answers, which you may very well be asking yourself right now that weigh heavily on your mind. Questions such as: Am I wasting my time with this person? Do I deserve better? Do I see a future with this person? Can I count on this person to be there whenever I need him/her the most?

In retrospect, there are so many positive aspects to love that one tends to ignore what the negative aspects can do. The pain, depression, suffering, inner turmoil, the outright insanity of dealing with what's in our heart are just some of the things you don't want to endure and yet its what each one of us have to face even though you don't want to. In some aspect, it's considered a trial by fire as you have to experience the bad of talking through the flames of hurtful rejection before you experience the good of feeling like you're floating on cloud nine, which is what every person wants to be on. In the end, if you’re able to endure past relationships that have left you physically, emotionally, as well as, mentally weak and yet you find that reserve energy/strength to still keep on going in order to one day meet that special someone I say you're a survivor.