That Thing You Do

Mark Twain once said, ~A most moving and pulse strong honor--the heart felt grope of the hand, and the welcome that does not descend from the pale, gray matter of the brain but rushes up with the red blood of the heart.~ It would be safe to say that there is a general consensus among women in which all men are mildly retared....okay who are we kidding here...we're all hugely retarded, especially when it pertains the creative handshakes that are exchanged between us. In any case, the standard handshake, though used in a respectful business/first time meeting situation, has most definitely evolved into something so widely accepted its become a form of entertainment for not only the individuals involved, but also to those who witness the display of male bonding at its finest.

Without a doubt, the fist tap has been one of the most popular and not to mention the easiest type of handshake to do because it can be given quickly and on the go. Thinking about it, the fist tap can most definitely speak volumes from one guy to another as it can in all intensive purposes say what's up, good job, keep up the good work, etc. and the one place you generally see it done is at a sporting event like the game of baseball where players hold out their fist to congratulate a teammate. Also, it's this type of handshake that certain people such as comedian/game show host Howie Mandell give because of how germaphobic he is...but I digress. Whether it's crossing paths, parting ways, or meeting a large group of your buddies the fist tap is a time savor that every guy utilizes.

If you think about it, there comes a point where the simple handshake like the fist tap mentioned above becomes a bit more technical. Technical in the sense that there are certain small moves added in here and there to make it interesting to the point where the flow is nice, steady, hard, and crisp. However, in order to have that flow it must be dependent in how in sync two or more guys are as particular moves like the side high five done 3 consecutive times, the back and forth side five also done 3 consecutive times, the side jazz fingers, the high to low innerward slope snap, etc. are all hopefully executed together with precise accuracy because as a guy nothing disappoints us more than a failing to perform a handshake after working/practicing it over and over.

Let me ask you this question to any of you guys out there, have you established a handshake with your buddies that has a challenging choreographed routine that may possibly involve dance moves? It's truly amazing the level of commitment guys have as they perform a handshake involving choreographed dance moves like the carlton dance or the running man with technical hand moves added with it as well. Essentially, humility is thrown out the window, in a manner of speaking, as the thought of looking completely goofy, stupid, or not cool is basically superseded by the fun factor. You see, in order to do the proverbial all-in-one handshake that is a simple technically choreographed routine you gotta have fun with it because if you don't you'll end up taking it way too seriously.

In retrospect, its not just guys doing these types of handshakes anymore as women are doing it as well as they put their own style, flash, and flavor into it. You have to admit though, the ladies can sometimes put it down better than the guys and I'm saying this because there are certain things that they can do that we're not willing to do as it threatens our masculinity. In the whole scheme of things though, it doesn't matter which gender can do it better as it is more of a comorbidity between friends that you've enjoyed being around and having fun with in the process. In the end, when it comes to the creative handshakes given between guys or girls, it becomes not just a natural autonomic response, but also it's simply that thing you do with your closest of friends that sometimes can't be explained.

The Other Side

Someone once said, ~The tough thing about following your heart is what people forget to mention is that sometimes your heart takes you to places you shouldn't be. Places that are scary as they are exciting and as dangerous as they are alluring. Sometimes your heart cannot take you to places that lead to happy endings. That's not even the difficult part, the difficult part is when you follow your heart, you leave normal, you go into the unknown and once you do you can never go back.~ If you think about it, it's tough to follow your heart because you can find yourself metaphorically entering into the oftentimes confusing maze of your thoughts, feelings, and emotions that lead you in so many different directions inevitably causing you to not only lose your mind, but also become so lost to the point where you're not able to find your way out.

As said before, the toughest thing about following your heart is getting lost within the maze of your own thoughts, feelings, and emotions as it takes you to places within yourself that once you go in you may not be able to ever come out. For you start out excited and see clear as day where you want to be, but when you venture further in it increasingly grows darker making it difficult to figure out your surroundings. It can be a scary situation indeed to be in as you metaphorically stand in darkness within yourself not knowing which direction to take leaving you absolutely vulnerable. It's within that vulnerability you begin to experience the one thing that each of us tend to never want to face and even though you can't see it or touch it, you know its there creeping up, over, under, beside, as well as, all around you...fear.

Without a doubt, fear is the one thing you never want to come face to face with, in a manner of speaking, as you try to maneuver around the seemingly complicated maze you've built up within yourself. Why? It tends to make you too afraid to move causing you to keep yourself positioned in one place within yourself that instinctively feels safe to be in and yet at the same time you want to move forward knowing full well at some point you're going to have to face the one wall you not only try to avoid, but also greatly fear as well...the wall of rejection. Let me tell you something, no matter how many times you turn a corner hoping to find a way past the wall of rejection you end up becoming trapped on all four sides to where the frustration you build up changes to anger and that anger eventually manifests itself into utter madness leaving you to hold on to the remaining pieces of your own sanity.

Let me ask you this question, whether you're following your heart or personally dealing with issues of a past relationship are you finding yourself going through your own maze filled with confusing twists and turns possibly encountering walls along the way? Thinking about it, its simply amazing how any person can look as if nothing is wrong on the outside only to find that on the inside he or she is scrambling back and forth trying to find their way out. Out, in the sense of, trying to get back to being normal or close to normal as one can be whereby freeing them from not only the emotional pain of having what their feeling be pulled in all directions, but also from the mental pain of trying to figure out what to do next, which would push anyone to the brink of insanity. Ultimately, you just have to pray to God for help and let Him guide you through it because if you don't you'll become forever lost within yourself.

Someone said, ~Love is a never-ending maze: make sure you don't go in the wrong direction.~ Personally speaking, in the past 2 years I've been in a funk as I became lost within the dark maze of my own thoughts, feelings and emotions that I've been holding on to as I was following my heart. You see, it was a woman that had me facing a wall that I was truly afraid of, especially coming from her and I ended up trapping myself within 4 walls that I wasn't able to get out of, essentially causing the loss of my sanity. This past month, I finally let it all go and by doing it I experienced a bright light of calming peace that helped guide me in the right direction to regain my sanity. In the end, it wasn't easy by any means to find my way out, but I did by praying to God for guidance and in the immortal words of The Door's late frontman Jim Morrison I was able to break on through to the other side.

Game Over

Someone once said, ~ In the game of love, it doesn't really matter who won or lost, what's important is when to hold on and when to let go.~ If you think about it, when it comes to matters of the heart we're all given the sporting chance to in all intensive purposes play with as much passion, strength, determination, drive, and pure honesty one can possibly give within one's own heart whereby exuding the positive impression that you're not only playing by the rules, so to speak, but you're also in it for all the right reasons. Yet, for some people, they're in it for all the wrong reasons as they have this twisted mindset that love is in fact simply a game to in which he or she has that anything goes winner takes all competitive attitude and it doesn't matter to them who gets hurts as long as he/she is able to reap the rewards.

Without a doubt, every person initially begins the so- called game of love with intentions of playing by the rules, but unfortunately when love is involved the rules tend to be changed for all the wrong reasons. Changed in the sense that he/she oversteps one's boundaries and breaks what's most purely sacred about love or true love for that matter in order to fulfill an innate carnal desire to selfishly satisfy their own heart. Yet, it's not so much their heart that is coming under intense scrutiny from their peers/critics as it is more to do with the lust within their eyes that has one putting himself/herself in pretty dicey situations to the point where it inevitably costs him/her something most valuable...respect. Let me tell you something, without respect for love you'll always personally experience the agony of defeat rather than the thrill of victory.

Let me ask you this question, when it comes to the metaphorical scoreboard that keeps records of unfortunate heartbreaks located within your heart, can you count the number of hits you have taken over the years that have led you to utter heartbreak? It's a sad situation indeed when a person continually takes hit after hit to where instead of getting up and dusting themselves off to show how tough he/she is, they instead stay down because the pain is too much, whereby showing their vulnerability. Essentially, it's their heart that ends up suffering a sometimes deep, emotional injury that has one on the proverbial disabled list of love. However, it's nice to know there are people you trust who care about you enough to be there right by your side to see you through the rehabilitation of your heart as their strength and love help you heal.

Essentially, when you're metaphorically sitting on the sidelines waiting for your chance to either get back or get in the game you're given the opportunity to observe the entire playing field, so to speak, that is relationships. By stepping back, you get a sense of the bigger picture and from your viewpoint it can be a disappointing sight indeed when you see a person who doesn't play it smart. What do I mean? Well, what I mean is establishing more than one relationship that risks the well being of not just the guys/girls you're seeing, but those who he/she are close to or associated with as well. What it comes down to is having the common sense to not do something that is seen as so stupid, immature, and absolutely dangerous as you may very well suffer harsh consequences in the long run because you never really win when you play with someone's heart.

In retrospect, the game of love can be very brutal in a potential/significant relationship as it can most definitely beat you up personally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It's just a matter of knowing what to hold on as you're playing for what's most important in love and letting go of things that hold you back from reaching your greatest potential. For the question can be asked, would you be willing to do what's best for the team even if it means knowing you'll quite possibly suffer some bumps and bruises for your teammate, which are considered badges of honor in the relationship. In the end, to those of you who are in the game of love for all the right reasons continue to play with heart, but to those of you who are just in it for all the wrong reasons as you play with people's hearts then all I have to say to you my friend is...game over.

When You Love Someone

Someone once said, ~Love is just a word, a label; real love is unexplainable.~ Let me ask you this question, if real love is unexplainable, how do you know you’re truly in love and can you be able to express that love without actually saying a word? For it's a tough question indeed to try to answer because nobody knows the moment when you've really fallen in love and when it comes to being able to verbally communicate that love without actually explaining it in words it can be quite difficult to do. Why? You see, what makes matters of the heart so special is being able to articulate at best your affections for the one you love even if they don't make any sense whatsoever. However, it can most definitely be done in three ways: in our attitude, in our choices made, and in our actions.

If you think about it, it's from our behavior that exudes certain attitudes that can reveal to someone special how your love is real. To be more specific, it's in how you react to particular situations in a relationship that can oftentimes be unforeseen such as having to suddenly cut short celebrating a special event/occasion because of work responsibilities needing immediate attention. If the love you have is real, you wouldn't react by giving a negative look of disappointing anger that reads you don't care about me or this relationship. Instead, the reaction should be a positive look of understanding that reads I love you and if there is anything I can do to help in any way to make your job easier, as well as, less stressful, I'm here for you.

Without a doubt, it's in the conscious choices you make to put the thoughts, feelings, needs, wants, etc. of someone else above your own that shows a level of maturing growth in love. A level of maturity in which that person senses within you a deep awareness as you reveal a mindset geared more towards wanting to provide him/her with as much happiness that can possibly be given rather than providing yourself with as much happiness you can get out of being with him/her. What it primarily comes down to is sacrifice as you make the personal conscious choice of sacrificing every part of your being for someone else and even though it may be seen as a crazy decision to those close to/around you, it shows a willingness to give your all by prioritizing what's most important in a relationship.

For the question be asked to you ladies, have you ever experienced a genuine love in which a guy's actions spoke louder than his words? When I mean actions I'm referring to physically doing something special without being asked or told to do that goes above and beyond the call of duty, so to speak, in regards to possibly having a really bad, stressful day that any woman would love to forget. Essentially, its doing such things like cooking her favorite meal, preparing a bubble bath for her to relax/soak the day away, and/or if there are kids in the relationship he'll offer to take them out while she has her "me time" shows how truly considerate he is towards how she is feeling whereby leaving her with a lasting impression that she's absolutely appreciated.

In retrospect, its oftentimes what you don't say by way of your attitude, personal choices, and actions that can be heard clear as day, in a manner of speaking, within that person's heart. For the most part, you just have to attain a peace within yourself beforehand as you come to terms with placing yourself in the position of service for someone else's well being, which is scary to even think about. Here's something to think about...if someone you love became paralyzed causing him to no longer do anything on his/her own would you put your life on hold to be there at their side to help in any way without any hesitation or explanation? In the end, when you love someone you don't think twice about the responsibilities or the unfortunate experiences you may possibly endure/suffer for that person because you just do it and it's a song by Bryan Adams that reflects this thought.

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Fact or Fiction

Frank A Clark once said, ~Gossip needn't be false to be evil. There's a lot of truth that shouldn't be passed around.~ Without a doubt, its in our basic human nature to be enticed by what we hear when it pertains to the drama that happened or is happening in, to, and/or around us. You can't help but want to know the 411 on what supposedly went on or is going on because quite frankly it's our curiosity that can get the better of us to the point where we can be absolutely hungry for more, in a manner of speaking. Yet, you can't always put stock in the information you hear by word of mouth is 100% accurate because the situation may have been slightly or majorly changed to fit one's supposed version of what he, she, or they said/heard as the truth.

Let me ask you this question, are you the type of person who spreads idle gossip in order to stir the pot, so to speak, to where you end up just sitting back and watching the initial chaos that ensues afterwards? You see, all it ever takes is to have a seemingly small incident that is hardly worth the attention, manipulate it, and have it spun into something so sensationalized it can ruin one's reputation, as well as, relationship. For it's a sad, sick, and twisted situation indeed when someone doesn't have a conscience as he/she has no remorse whatsoever to the parties involved just as long as he or she doesn't get caught in the proverbial crossfire, which shows how much of heartless, cold S.O.B. that person is considered to be.

If you think about it, there is a high school/middle school type mentality when it comes to the gossip that is essentially spread by word of mouth and inevitably heard by the masses. It would be safe to say that some, most, or all you have had firsthand experience possibly leaving you to become somewhat or absolutely paranoid/aware of those close to/around you talking under their breath as to what shocking/juicy information has been circulating from ear to ear through the so called gossip grapevine. So, how did you deal with/handle the unfortunate/embarrassing situation? Oftentimes, you have to deal with it in a mature level headed manner and hope that it all blows over instead of handling it in a foolish immature way as if you were back in your middle school/high school days.

Personally speaking, there was a situation years ago in the early days of the insane asylum that at one point became the story/gossip to tell as it involved an altercation between myself and three former co-workers. Well, on that particular night they decided it would be funny to mess with me. Anyways, to make a long story short I lost it and told them to basically screw themselves causing my best friend to quickly take me outside to cool off. Now, I'm going to set the record straight here as I admit to saying that, but overturning tables and giving the Stone Cold Steve Austin double finger to them was a purely exaggerated rumor. Looking back on it, it would have been sweet if I did do that for added effect, but hey it was all I could think of doing at the spur of the moment.

In retrospect, when it comes to hearing gossip/rumors that either involve you or someone you know/care about/love there is the tendency to blow it all out of proportion. You just have to remember to act accordingly and not let what's said affect you. For the most part, all you can do is either brushing it off your shoulder all-the while laughing your butt off because of how truly absurd it is or you can let it get at you causing you to do something you may end up not just regretting it later down the road, but you also end up looking foolish in the process. In the end, the gossip/rumors we hear about other people or us for that matter on a semi-daily basis can all be straightened out by simply talking to those individuals at the center of it all who hopefully will give you the answer as to whether it's fact or fiction.