To You

Let me ask you this question, when was the last time you sat down and just looked through your old yearbooks? When you take a look at the past you essentially look back at the person you once were as a kid to the person you are now as an adult. Yet, you not only look back at yourself, you also look back at the people who you associated with who either had direct or indirect contact in your life. The memories and moments shared throughout the years of your life, as well as, the lives of others who were a part of it are captured live and in living color. For it can be said that a picture can say a thousand words but quite frankly it can't reveal thoughts or emotions that nobody really knows except for you at that particular time and place.

Each and every one of us tends to cringe when one looks back at pictures of ourselves in a book that is a representation of a time capsule. A time capsule that represented your own humble beginnings as a young adolescent trying to find one's own identity all the while trying to fit in a particular social group. Its within one's own personal time capsule that it had such remarkable individual, duo, or group shots of particular people who were considered most likely to succeed, most athletic, most witty, most attractive, best all around, best dressed, most intelligent, most friendly, most flirtatious, most talkative, best personality, most friendly, and most likely to end up on an episode of cops. So the question can be asked, were you ever any of the above mentioned?

Without a doubt, some of the funniest, weirdest, saddest, funnest, and craziest times are captured and forever cemented in one's own history of life. However, those captured still shots can never compare to the actual atmosphere and energy of where one was and who he or she was with, which is why it's considered such a memorable one. Oftentimes, a person can over exaggerate what happened during that particular moment in time to the point where he or she actually believes the tales he or she is spinning. Whether or not it was with friends or with a boyfriend/girlfriend that one may or may not be with anymore it was a priceless memory that one hopefully still treasures to this day.

In any case, when you take a look back down memory lane and see certain individuals what emotions do you get when you look at his or her picture. For some people, the two basic emotions that tend to stir up are infatuation and love because that particular guy or girl had some type of effect on you that when you look at his or her picture one's emotions still run deep for that person Unfortunately, for other people, emotions such as anger and bitterness can bring about resentment due to how he or she was treated by that particular person or persons. For its when you see or bump into these particular people do you still feel the same emotions for that person or have you matured enough to move on with your life?

In retrospect, I attended school overseas in Ceiba, Puerto Rico from 1994-1996, I considered my classmates not just friends, but family due to being part of the military. Looking back in my yearbook, I had countless friends; but there were 7 of us who hung out together and were known as The Slackers. Though it absolutely had nothing to do with being lazy, it was just a name that stuck when my art teacher kept preaching to us about not being slackers. It was that same art teacher, Mr. Rashid, who wrote in my yearbook that art is life; create, look, draw what you see and what I can conceive can be. In the end, I say this to you as my friends wrote this to me 9 years ago: stay sweet, stay cool, and don't ever change.

Boiling Point

Albert Smith once said, ~Tears are the safety valve of the heart when too much pressure is laid on it.~ Each and every one of us feels as if the weight of the world rests entirely on our shoulders. We all have or are experiencing certain pressures in our personal, academic, or professional lives to the point that it most certainly affects us physically, mentally, and emotionally. Let me ask you this question, if I asked you if you are currently dealing with pressure what would you say? I would assume that you all are probably nodding your head yes because, in some aspect, like can be considered one big pressure cooker. A pressure cooker, that if left on the stove too long, will explode and the shiznit will hit the fan.

For the most part, certain people thrive on pressure because it essentially gets a person more focused on what he or she has to do. For the adrenaline rush tha one feels can give each of us that added boost to accomplish certain tasks that one's heart may not be in. Speaking for myself, I'm at times a procrastinator and will wait till the night before to complete something that is due the next day. Yet, when the pressure is on, my focus is to get my project accomplished and not let any distractions get in the way. Personally speaking, when the chips are down on the proverbial gaming table of life, do you keep folding or do you keep raising the stakes in your favor?

Without a doubt, telling someone how you feel for him or her is considered one the greatest pressures in life to go through, trust me I know. Without a doubt, a person can't eat and will lose so much sleep that he or she continually looks up at the ceiling debating on whether or not to tell him or her how you feel. Whether it's loving someone or liking someone, not being able to share your feelings with that person can be a tough situation due to one's own past heartaches that tend to stay with a person. Inevitably, it's that added pressure on one's already heavy laden shoulders to speak from one's heart and reveal how you feel about him or her and not have that same person tear your heart in half.

Thinking about it, there is a certain amount of pressure that I put on myself to try to top every yodaism that is sent out to you all. In some way, I'm pushing myself to keep coming up with topics that generally every person goes through on a semi-daily basis, which puts pressure on me to keep what I write and send to you fresh and not have it sound like you've read the same thing over and over again. Essentially, I've done a good job trying to convey my thoughts into words, which are then sent to you guys. Hopefully, it makes sense to you because half the time it doesn't make sense to me; but whether or not you don't understand the words, the message is loud, clear, and touches your heart and soul.

In retrospect, the pressures of life that each of us go through tests the limits of how much we can take until we crack. In some ways, we are like a pinata and life is just continually hitting us with a stick to see what emotions will fall out. Undoubtedly, there will come a point where life will push the right buttons and have one just fall apart mentally, emotionally, and/or physically. Yet, the only person that knows our limitations and how far we can physically and mentally go to the point where we don't go postal due to the overwhelming pressure is ourselves. In the end, when the pressures of life have reached a boiling point, simply let out some steam(crying, screaming, breaking stuff, etc.) and you'll feel a whole lot better.

Just Around The Corner

Essentially, for guys, when it comes to aging, we have three specific categories which are young, middle aged, and you look good. In pasts Yodaisms I've joked that I've considered myself old but in reality I am actually middle aged. For guys, we reach a certain point where we can't do certain things like we did when we were young and yet we're not at that point where we're going to stop either just because that fire is still felt inside. But the question can be asked how does one know when reaches middle age? Thinking about it, there are tell tale signs that will reveal a person's crossover from young man to a middle aged dude. A middle aged dude that will come to realize that change comes whether you like it or not.

Listening to music is fundamentally a staple of many people's lives, it keeps us sane from our own lives that we live on a daily basis. When I was younger, blaring music that would shake, rattle, roll a person's windows was part of what being "cool" was all about. Now that I'm reaching the age of 30, I find myself wanting to hear music at a respectable level. A level in which its not too low where you can't hear it; but not too loud that it makes your ears bleed. Working in the asylum, I've been told that I'm not cool anymore and that I'm not hip and happening. Whether or not I know what's hip or happening is inconsequential; as long as their song that I like to hear, understand, and has a nice beat I'm a happy camper.

Someone once said, ~It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody asks you the question.~ To tell you the truth, I don't have all the answers and if I did it would be shared with everybody. Unfortunately, I ask the same questions you do as its put down in these Yodaisms on a semi-daily basis and many of you have taken it to heart. For its the wisdom that I have gained over the years I find myself taking aside particular kids in the asylum and sharing what I know. In a sense, I'm kinda like Yoda, though I'm not a green, 900 years old, or have the powers of the force. Initially, its a funny thing when they roll their eyes at me because I used to do the exact same thing to someone who was around the same age as I am now.

There comes a point when a person is about to reach his or her 30's, one takes a look at his her friends and realizes that things do change. The one underlying change in any person's life is marriage and it starts to have a domino effect amongst your friends. Personally speaking, some of my friends are mostly single but the majority of them are either engaged, getting married, already married, but thankfully not divorced. Let me ask you this question, are more of your getting engaged/married or getting divorced rather than hooking up or breaking up? It's that realization that you have crossed over into a place of maturity in which there is absolutely no turning back.

My motto has always been ~Take life one day at a time, if you go through it too fast you will have no idea where you will end up.~ Whether or not every person takes life one day at a time, you have to admit that life can move very quickly. So quickly that it all becomes one big blur to where one says an all too familiar phrase when looking back at the past which is, it seemed like yesterday. Looking back at the first 27 years of my life I have had setbacks, disappointments, heartbreak, triumphs, defeats, dreams fulfilled, dreams crushed. Yet, there has been one constant that has been keeping me going, which is my desire to keep moving forward in life. In the end, I don't know what's in store for me when I turn 30; but I do know one thing though, it's up 2 street and just around the corner.

Forever and Always

Sir Pavio Writesalot said, ~Love is the binding that holds to your dreams. Love does not come over, rather you choose to love. Only when you choose to love one forever and you stand by that dedication of love will you truly love for life and live happily ever after.~ Let me ask you this question, does love last forever between two people? If you think about it, as each of us go through life and love, one oftentimes wonder if he or she will have that kind of love that one's own parents have. A love that is so deep and strong that it feels right to show how much you love that person in a personal sense; but also in a spiritual sense as you love from within your heart and soul.

Essentially, before ever attaining that forever love, one must have appreciation for that person who is kind and considerate enough to go out of his or her way to do something nice and in the process put a smile on your face. It's a rarity these days to find that guy or girl who appreciates all you try to do for that person and yet, he or she expects nothing in return which shows a selfless love that is an attractive quality for both men and women; but more so to a woman in my opinion. For every one of us can agree that its nice to know that someone is thinking about you and greatly appreciates who you are as a person, which makes you feel special and in turn makes that person special.

There will come a point where appreciating that person turns into liking that particular person. Genuinely liking him or her for who they are inside and not how they physically look on the outside. Most definitely, it what first attracts you to that person but if he or she is beautiful on the outside, but yet is ugly on the inside then that person is not worth liking and not worth your time. We all have specific qualities you like about a person that makes you want to hang around him or her and get more acquainted. It's that person who can make a deep impression on you; an impression that other guys or girls have failed to put on you. Someone once told me, never feel guilty or ever apologize for liking someone because they may actually like you back.

Ultimately, that like you have for a person turns or hopefully turns to love for that guy or girl. What I have come to learn is that every person is capable of loving someone with every fiber of their being; but to smother that person with love can cause a person to want some space. Yet, not too much space that one thinks that he or she has taken him or granted. How many of you can honestly say that you are, were, or have been truly in love with someone? To be truly in love, you sacrifice what you held most dear to in heart and refocus it to that one person who you gladly give it up for...but not entirely. Let me tell you something, when you know you have it, hold on to it, and never let go because if it slips through your fingers one may never get the chance to experience it ever again.

For 29 years, my parents have been happily married and have two sons they are both proud of. Within those 29 years they have had their share of rocky moments, which my brother and I have been a witness to; but through it all they still loved each other enough to work it. One reason their marriage is strong is that my dad takes my mom out on dates, which shows he still has what it takes to keep the bond of love forever tight though the good times and bad. I look at both of them and think to myself, that is how I want my marriage to my future wife to be as we go through our own triumphs, trials and tribulations. Forever and always, till the day I take my one last breath I will love her unconditionally and she for me.

The Way Love Goes

Without a doubt, not knowing how another person feels about you can be, at times, emotionally draining. It's that constant wondering, worrying, and wishing to have those feelings reciprocated back from the one person you appreciate and like. We've all felt, at one point or another, the need to figure out where one stands in that person's life. A life can hopefully be a part of if given the chance; but ultimately what one wants to know is whether that particular person simply sees you as a brother/sister or does he or she feel the same way you do? Though complicated it may seem, it would be a whole lot simpler if potential relationships were solved by doing certain things that one used to do as a kid.

Wouldn't it be great to go back to a time where giving that boy or girl half your dessert or any food for that matter meant that you really liked him or her and was willing to share. For its that particular child who you would sit next to either on the bus, lunch table, or on the school playground and would give him or her an extra dessert that he or she brought especially for that child. Let me ask you this question, did you ever share food with someone who you considered to be your "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" when you were a little kid? If you think about it, it takes a special girl for us to give up what we most live in life which in this case is food; but most importantly our dessert.

Boys and girls chasing each other is really nothing new and doesn't say a whole lot. Now chasing each other and beating the crap out of each other is something that speaks volumes. Working in the asylum, I see so many little boys chasing after the girls and all too often I hear them complain that they are hitting them. My usual response is that they like you which is a sign of affection for a boy and if they really like you they will knock you down. Personally speaking, I was never the chaser or the type to hit a girl, but rather the one being chased and hit by the girls. According to my mom, I had something that attracted girls in my direction when I was little and that something were my dimples which they wanted to pinch all the time.

Undeniably, it would be more uncomplicated if men and women went back to the old standby of wanting to know if you wanted to be in a relationship and that was by writing and sending a note to that person who you were interested in. We've all done that when we were kids and it was a system that worked for practically every kid and all you had to do was simply check two boxes or circles, yes or no. It was that easy and you went on with your day knowing you now have a "friend" that you can play with until he or she dislikes you for whatever reason and then finds someone else to be "friends'' which was cruel but that was what being a kid was all about.

Glen, age 7, said, ~If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long.~ In retrospect, love is a lot like learning how to spell because it takes time and patience. Inevitably there will be errors made that will cause a person to have to keep writing or saying the word over and over until he or she gets it absolutely right. Sometimes it can be so hard to learn and correct the mistakes that are made that we just want to give up. BUT when you have someone to help you learn and correct those mistakes then it won't be long before you can spell perfectly all because of that person sticking by you when it got tough. Ultimately, as a kid, that's the way love goes as we gave, chased, and wrote back in the day; but now as an adult, we are giving, chasing and writing for that one specific special person.

The Answer

The one basic truth about love is that the answers never come easy. Oftentimes, each of us have this preconceived notion that we have it all figured out as to who we want to spend our life with. However, what one preconceived never turns out the way you want to go as the questions one continually asks on a day to day basis primarily stay the same; but the answers keep changing. It's a frustrating situation indeed for every person to experience disappointments that cause a person to become absolutely jaded to the point where love is simply a four letter word that has no meaning behind or emotion behind it. Let me share something with you that you may not know, it's not just you that feels that way; everybody feels that way.

There comes a point for every person, including myself, that maybe life would be better off single because you have absolute freedom to do what you want and go wherever you want without answering to someone else. For one can say that life is a lot less stressful without having to deal with someone else's wants and needs. To be perfectly honest, it's hard enough trying to fulfill your own wants and needs but it's doubly tough when you are trying to fulfill someone else's wants and needs that you are trying to get to know. Yet, when one witness couples walking hand in hand and giving each other that look of peaceful contentment it makes any person yearn to have someone in his or her life.

Essentially, for any woman, the commonality that each share is finding all the answers in that one guy who is everything she ever wanted and more. It's that guy who will actually sit and listen to everything that you say. It's that guy who treats you how you should be treated, which is a lady. It's that guy who will talk to you and treat you like one of his friends. It's that guy who will give you personal space knowing that you had a whole other life before you met him. For it is a quality that shows a deep and utmost respect for you as he lets you live your own life, plus it's essential for your own sanity that being together all the time can make you want to kill each other.

Undeniably, I want nothing more than to be seen as the guy who hopefully has all the questions answered for some women out there. I want to be that guy who sends flowers to her at work just to show how I am thinking of her. I want to be that guy who tells her she is absolutely beautiful when she doesn't think so. I want to be that guy that will look into her eyes and say, meaning behind it, I love you. I want to be that guy who will stay with her when she is sick knowing that I may get sick myself. I want to be that guy who knows the feeling of having someone love me back. But most of all, I want to be the guy who can truly say that just to my friends that I have found "the one" that completes me and I am going to marry her.

Someone once said, ~Love is the answer to the final question you ask.~ In retrospect, when someone asks you life's most simplest questions, the best response is to give simple answers. Yet, when it comes to love the most simple question of whether you are falling for someone can get pretty complicated to answer. Each and every one of us has been in a situation where you have this inner struggle between what your heart says and what your head says. A friend recently told me when it comes to love, don't let your head decide for you, let your heart decide for you and it will make all the difference. In the end, after looking into my own heart the answer to the final question that I have continually asked myself is....that I have no clue what the answer is and I may never know.

True Stories

As I said before, there's never a dull moment when you're working in a place that is nicknamed the asylum. More often than not the craziness that goes on in the looney bin either involves the kids or doesn't involve them. You see, as much as these kids get into trouble on a semi-daily basis, we can get in hot water ourselves. Working in the asylum you are expected to act professionally and do your job with the deepest and utmost respect for yourself, the parents, and the kids who look up to us, as well as, respect is...most of the time. BUT once you step through those hallowed doors one's professionalism can be forgotten sometimes and yet we do our job with respect to ourselves, the parents and the kids.

Most of the time, the madness that goes on happens when the kids are not around and that when we turn in troublesome, hyperactive adolescents. Let me tell you something, it's never really a good idea to leave seemingly full grown, well-adjusted adults alone with certain equipment that can cause bodily harm. Certain equipment, such as-I don't know-let's say a laundromat dryer and getting into that dryer, turning it on, and seeing what it's like to be spinning around in there. Personally speaking, even though I almost broke my neck going upside down, it was a fun experience. This basically proves one thing, when employees have too much free time on their hands, we will do some crazy things.

Essentially, what's so great about being a counselor is that one can easily form friendships with parents. A friendship that allows us to beat down their child and are willing to help in the beat down process. Last Friday, my best friend and I were constantly being annoyed, chastised, and patronized by this particular teenager who at one point in the afternoon called both of us grandpa. We chased him around the asylum, cornered him, got him on the ground where I got him in a headlock which then turned into the crippler crossface. My best friend got some parting shots in and all-the-while his mom was laughing at the whole thing which tells you that we have, bar none, the coolest parents. Though it started as a mediocre afternoon, it ended pretty crazy.

Initially every person who works or has worked at the asylum is considered a few Mcnuggets short of a happy meal without the toy inside. What job, that you know of, can you have the absolute fun in and get paid for doing it. I've had a blast going to places such as waterville where I basically got paid to simply float down the lazy river. Thinking back, there have been times where spontaneous limbo lines have formed, water balloon fights have broken out, and hordes of kids chase counselors to the point where a massive dog pile ensues and I have been under many of those dog piles. Over the years, I have done and been associated with so many crazy and insane moments that its hard to name which one tops the list.

Albert Einstein once said, ~The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.~ In retrospect, you have to have a break in the monotonous and seemingly repetitive aspects of one's own job. One has to either make it happen or it will happen all by itself. In some ways, working in the asylum is like being in a weekly tv series with a cast of characters that changes every season. Though the premise of this weekly series is about kids, it's also about the people who work there. For the drama, action, and hilarity that ensues will never disappoint you because in the end, they're all true stories of my reality and those who are along for the ride with me.

Here I Am

Someone once said, ~In the end, it's still best to wait for the one we want rather than settle for what is available. It is still best to wait for the one you love rather than settle for the one who is around. It is still best to wait for the right person because life is too short to waste on the wrong person.~ Let me ask you this question, how do you really know if the one you have been waiting for is the right person? It has been said that the person one has always been waiting for is never the one you expect to fall in love with. For it's simply an unknown because each and every one of us have an idea of who that right person is and what considers him or her to be that so-called diamond in the rough.

For the most part, that unknown person one has been waiting for, oftentimes doesn't have that certain electricity he or she feels at first like in past relationships. In some cases, that electricity that he or she expects to feel in an instant may not be felt right away. For it is gradual, as it slowly surges through one's soul and starts to jolt every part of one's body from the top of one's head to the tips of his or her toes. It's that undeniable energy you feel from that particular person that you can't quite figure out; but it's a familiar feeling that excites you and scares you at the same time. An energy that may take days, months, or even years for it to be felt and when it is finally felt, one will be "shocked" at who will be standing there.

Essentially, the one you have been waiting for all your life may not give you that spine tingling chill that makes you shiver when you talk about him or her. In many happy relationships, the guy or girl didn't really like that person at first. For it wasn't so much of chill that he or she felt for one's future girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse, but rather a feeling of being ignored. In a way, meeting someone after waiting for so long is like setting off fireworks. Without a doubt, you can feel an immediate spark to the point where emotions just illuminate the night sky for all to see; but sometimes, it takes time for that fuse to ignite the fireworks of love which, in all intents and purposes, will provide a light show that is well worth waiting for.

There comes a point when waiting for the right person, you don't necessarily know if he or she will be the one that will complete you. Completing you in such a way that he or she will be the one and only person you fall in love with forever and that love will hopefully have no ending in sight. For he or she is not only the one you love, but also your very best friend who you can trust and are absolutely compatible with in certain aspects of your own life. It's within that person that you receive strength from even though at times, you didn't have the courage to stay on course; but you did. Without question, that person will consider you his or her North Star, which he or she will use as a guide to connect one's heart to yours.

In retrospect, it's painful to wait for someone that may or may not come into your life. Many of us, who are living the single life, have been waiting patiently for months and even years for that right person to show up at our doorstep. Undeniably, the anticipation of when that person will arrive can make us either impatient or sick to our stomach. For it can also bring a person to the brink of insanity as he or she questions what hasn't his or her time to be happy arrived yet? Ultimately, its put in God's hands as he directs that special someone into our awaiting arms. In the end, it's when we look up at the starry filled night sky that we find ourselves saying telepathically to that person: Here I am, where are you?

Crazy In Love

Someone once said, ~Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over.~ Let me ask you a question, can you control love? In my heart of hearts, you can't because quite frankly it's impossible to figure out, to break down, and to try to analyze the mystery that is love. It doesn't have a physical presence and yet it can be felt by millions of people every single day. Each and every person has felt that loss of control when experiencing love; but one also has felt that control destroys you from the inside out. If you think about it, it's the price one pays for either expressing or keeping in the emotions he or she feels in a relationship, whether it's good or bad.

Essentially, a person can't control what he or she has no control over. Oftentimes we say to ourselves that I am not going to fall in love because it's just going to complicate my life even more. One can also add to that the emotions that are felt will become too strong for us to handle to the point where we're completely at the mercy of something that one swore never to be, which is a love struck fool. A fool that finds himself or herself saying things that one never thought he or she would never utter. For we've all fallen victim to having that control, which one worked so hard to keep at an even keel, slip through our fingers because that guy or girl got in our head and eventually in our heart.

For the question can be asked, why do we torture ourselves when it comes to love? The feelings we have for someone that has touched our hearts never really go away and can't be shut off in an instant. In some ways, it’s like a dial that has no off and on switch and you have absolutely no control over it. It’s a tough situation indeed meeting someone that you start to feel deeply and yet you choose to suppress the overwhelming emotions because you don't want to ruin what both of you have by revealing how you feel for him or her. It's kind of like being a prisoner of your own emotions and no matter how badly you want the words of love for that person to escape your mouth, you keep it under lock and key for one's own protection.

In some aspect, we are in complete control when we are in an environment that one knows how to fix. It's within that particular environment, such as work, you know what is about to happen and can adjust to any possible scenarios that could come from it. BUT, when it comes to love, the environment that it has placed you in with that guy or girl can't be controlled because anything and everything can and will go wrong. Every person has been in a situation where one felt like a fish out of water as you were in an environment that felt foreign to you and you had no idea what to do, what to say, or why you are even there in the first place. It's not until you take a close, hard look at that person that you realize that even though you feel uncomfortable, being with him or her makes it all worthwhile.

In retrospect, the one place that we are in control of is in our thoughts because, in there everything goes as planned. For the scenarios that are going in our head are executed to perfection and the glitches that usually happen in reality, don't come to fruition in one's mind. Yet, when love enters a person's heart and mind its a double whammy that nobody can recover from because it has captured two places that will never be the same again. Someone once told me that its better to lose control of your heart than lose control of your mind because it's within your heart that you realize how crazy you are for that person. In the end, it's better to be crazy in love than to be just plain crazy, don't you think?

Just Gotta Believe

Let me ask you this question, have you ever felt insecure about yourself when situations in your life tend to embarrass and overwhelm you? Each and every one of us has our own insecurities to deal with that one doesn't want to reveal to friends, family, and/or significant other because it might give a whole new perception of how they see you. If you think about it, we all have perceptions of people who we know or are in the public eye and think he or she doesn't have any insecurities; but that thought is oftentimes dead wrong. Initially, every person struggles with certain insecurities that every person goes through in life and, in a way, its nice to know that its just not you who feels the same way.

Unquestionably, the underlying insecurity most women have is the issue of weight. You see, there has been an overwhelming focus, especially in Hollywood, to be a thin which drives women and even young girls to go to extremes to attain the body they truly want. On such extreme is anorexia, which is an unhealthy and dangerous eating disorder that causes serious damage both mentally and physically. For the seeds of insecurity are planted by reality television, Hollywood, rail thin models, magazines which promote perfect bodies with no imperfections. It's a sad situation indeed when a woman looks in the mirror and sees an overweight person; but when other people look at her she's in perfect shape.

In any case, there comes a point when a person's height can become an insecurity and more often than not, guys feel they can never measure up, in a manner of speaking. It's another deluded mindset that all women are looking for tall, dark, and handsome guys, which is a criteria that the vertically challenged may fall short when interested in a particular female. Personally speaking, I'm 5 '3 and I used to feel that I would never be seen as boyfriend material because of my short stature. It wasn't until a good friend of mine told me this statement: ~A woman, who is truly interested in you, won't see how tall or short you are; but rather how big of a heart you have inside which, in turn, will have her seeing a giant among men.

Without a doubt, a person can have insecurities about love, falling in love, and being in love. There are countless insecurities that both guys and girls have, such as bad breath. Good smelling breath is always key for two people who spend much of their quality time with their faces two inches from each other. Another insecurity which women, more so than guys, feel insecure about is releasing a potentially potent gas from one's rear end. Women, we'll hold it and not release that bad boy until she isn't in the proximity of people she knows. Guys, on the other hand, have no insecurities about it and will do it in front of people, which is a quality that makes us moronic but you love us anyway even though you are embarrassed.

Audrey Beth Stein once said, ~Deep down, beneath all our insecurities, beneath all our hopes for and beliefs in equality, each of us believe we’re better than anyone else. Because its our beliefs that are right, our doubts that are allowable, our fears which are legitimate.~ For the most part I don't necessarily agree that we are better than anyone else. What I do think is that each of us share the same insecurities but have different reasons as to why he or she feels that way about himself or herself. In retrospect, whether it's weight, height, or love there will always be something in life that will cause us to be insecure. In the end, you just gotta believe that you will be strong enough to get past those insecurities that hold you back from someone you want to be with or the person you always wanted to be.

Humble Pie

Phillip Brooks once said, ~The true way to be humble is not to stoop till your smaller than yourself, but to stand at your real height against some higher nature that shall show you what the real smallness of your greatness is.~ We've all been cut down to size, so to speak, when one tends to think too highly of himself or herself. It's one of the drawbacks of being human as our ego can get the better of us, which can be built up by our own doing or by other people. Each of us primarily takes pride in knowing or doing something that one excels in either mentally or physically. Working with kids, a person will learn that oftentimes you have to keep your own ego in check and ask yourself this question, what does humility mean to you?

In my line of work, humility means several different things such as cleaning up vomit after a child throws up coming from a field trip to a restaurant. Yet, it doesn't have to involve food as he or she is just plain sick. Knowing what the child is feeling at that point, it's essential to just put aside one's own reservations of gagging yourself and getting someone else to clean it up, which has been done by a former employee who I didn't see eye to eye with; but I digress. One just has to swallow your pride for the sake of the child who is scared, crying, and wants to go home asap. Here is a helpful tip to know: Dumping sand on vomit will deaden the smell, help in easier clean up, and most of all take away the gag reflex due to the smell.

Essentially, humility means accepting victory or taking defeat with honor and dignity. Over the past 8 summers the teens and counselors have had an epic battle of supremacy on the basketball court. As far as the record is concerned we have won 4 out of the 7 games that have been played so far and hopefully this year we can add another win. Yet, as summers have come and gone, the teens have progressively been getting better and better to the point where they are taking us to school and teaching us a few things. It wasn't too long ago that we let them have the ball to shoot, now they're fighting for the ball and shooting 3 pointers in our faces like it was nothing. One just has to accept, as aging counselors, we're losing our edge; BUT what we lose in speed and quickness we make up for in devious tactics.

Without question, what humility means to me is admitting to the kids when I am wrong which can be a catch 22 at times. Kids, as they do, will harp on the fact that we messed up and will not let you forget about it as they dangle it in front of your face like a worm for a hungry fish. However, 99% of the time kids are always in the wrong; but it's that 1% that they are right due to us not getting the full information needed to determine an accurate judgment call. I'm not the most rule conscious employee seeing that I've almost been fired 4 times for doing stupid things; but when it comes to the safety of "my kids" I will enforce them. When it comes to kids, whether you are right or wrong, you have to be willing to save face and be a better person, which makes for a better relationship with one's own kids someday.

Over the past 8 years, I've received countless compliments from parents about how I have influenced their child's life in some way, shape or form. Unfortunately, there are also parents who just see you as a babysitter so he, she, or both can go out and have a good time. Working in the asylum, I've learned you can't please every parent who walks through those doors and trust I've tried to. In some aspect you primarily have to have a balance of parents that love you and parents that think you are incompetent workers who like to write up kids for fun. It's just a matter of not letting it get to you because you won't have fun doing your job and right now I'm having a blast. In the end, sometimes you just have to eat a slice of humble pie every now and then to know that not all people think the work you are doing matters in the long run.

Miracles Do Happen

Someone once said, ~What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come in direct contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it.~ Oftentimes, the emotions that are being felt for a guy or a girl can cause a person to become scared. Every person has been in a situation where, from within their heart, someone has clutched it to the point that it gets harder to breathe. For there is absolutely no medical treatment or any science text books that will explain what is happening to you. For you see, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know its love, which can hit a person out of nowhere hard.

For when one is in that early stage of self denial a person will give reason after reason as to why love doesn't appeal to him or her. For it is in that person's mindset that he or she wants to focus on himself or herself first and doesn't want the headaches that love causes. Due to love, one's thinking process will be all out of whack and he or she will eventually have that goofy looking grin plastered on one's face. Yet, it's that same person who professes that he or she will never fall in love and never go through those experiences will be, in fact, that person. A person that one desperately never wanted to be, which is a lovestruck fool who then must decide to either act or not act on those feelings.

In any case, it's that fear of love that grabs each and every one of us by the proverbial heartstrings and pulls our emotions in every different direction. Yet, we can deny ourselves from having someone to love or being loved by someone by continually witnessing broken relationships. In some cases, a guy or girl fears being in a relationship due to seeing their own friends breakup, as well as, one's own parent's marriage ending in divorce, which thankfully hasn't happened to my parents. *knock on wood* For one has that mindset that he or she doesn't want to be another statistic on love's journey to the deep dark abyss where pain and sorrow reside. Yet, it will always be there in the back of your mind, waiting in the shadows as potential relationships come about.

Subsequently, that fear of love leads a person to just run away or hide from that person, which in his or her mind solves the problem. Let me ask you this question, have you experienced an overwhelming sense of emotion for someone that you basically walked away not knowing what the outcome could have been? Essentially, a person figures that by running away or hiding from the so-called "problem", you can run away or hide from the feelings that he or she has for that particular person. A person will find out that it's just not that simple and the only way to confront what you are feeling is to talk to that person. It's a scary situation indeed, but it's one of those life lessons that you have to learn on your own.

A wise man once said, ~Sometimes you just gotta let your heart lead you even if its to someone you may never be with.~ In retrospect, there comes a point where you have to just stop running from that fear and finally accept what you have been feeling for that particular person is real. You can never tell what that other person is feeling because he or she could be experiencing the same kind of emotions that have him or her running or hiding scared as well. Someone once told me never be afraid of love because that person, who you will fall in love with, will be considered a miracle sent by God. In the end, one can safely say that miracles do happen for everybody and hopefully I will look into the face of my miracle that God will send me.

Made For Each Other

Men and women are, without a doubt, on a different level of thinking when it comes to all aspects of life. In theory, I believe all women think the same; but guys, on the other hand, don't think like women because quite frankly we'll be too confused than we already are. Essentially, there are basic truths about guys and girls in which both see the world from a different perspective that hopefully doesn't offend anyone. It's just a humoristic look at the basic and simplistic style of guys against the detailed and analytical style of women. When you think about it, it's the challenge of both men and women to try to understand each other even though we can drive each other absolutely up the wall.

When it comes to shopping men treat the experience like a battle plan. For if something doesn't fit or is torn to the point it can't be worn again our objective has been initiated. Once we get to the store, absolutely nothing will hinder us from our target unless a new video game has just come out or we're hungry. In our own thinking, spending more than an hour just walking around, buying and accomplishing nothing is a waste of time. For a woman, on the other hand, spending more than an hour just walking around is considered window shopping because in their own mind they are just getting warmed up. When it comes to shopping, women just take it more seriously than we do because it's in their blood.

Doing the laundry is something that both men and women do differently as well. For a woman, she will wash clothes at the end of every week because she doesn't want to run the risk of being seen wearing the same thing. For their process of separating articles of clothing are colors, whites, darks, and delicates is a system that is absolutely foreign to guys. For a guy, we'll wear every article of clothing we have until we need to do laundry or we just reuse certain articles of clothing such as pants and shirts, which we just turn inside out. As a guy, we have just two piles, dirty and funky; dirty we can wear again and funky...well, we have to actually wash because the smell will seriously knock someone out.

The relationship between guys and girls is completely different because quite frankly we don't get emotionally attached to each other. The male relationship is considered very simplistic and I'll give you a perfect example: A group of guys are hanging out and one of them announces that he is breaking up with his girl or getting a divorce. The basic response for a guy is, "Sorry dude" and we'll go back to whatever we were doing before he said that. Now, when a group of women are gathered around bonding and someone announces a break up or a divorce, an emergency style meeting ensues where they analyze what went wrong point by point. In all likelihood, tears will be shed and that guy will be ostracized from pictures, as well as not be acknowledged by her friends.

In retrospect, there are so many things that we're on a different level of thinking on such as shopping for food, asking for directions, certain kinds of movies, farting in public, what's considered funny, how many shoes a person needs, what guys are thinking which is NOTHING at the moment, and the list goes on and on. If you stand back and take a really good look at what we do as men and women, it is quite humorous. Thinking about it, men and women make each other feel like they want to kill themselves when things go wrong but yet, make each other feel alive when things go absolutely right. Ultimately, even though the things that both sides do make no sense at all, you have to agree on one thing, which is that men and women are made for each other.

The Key

Someone once said, ~There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy and that place is her heart.~ Let me ask you this question ladies and feel free to respond back, what sort of things will a guy genuinely do for you that will put a smile on your face and make your heart melt? For it's one of those so-called "it" factors in which you put your proverbial stamp of approval on that particular guy who you hopefully believe is worth completely opening your heart to. Yet, for some guys, they believe that to truly touch a woman's heart you basically have to give her bad pick-up lines, wear flashy clothing, drive a fast car, which ultimately isn't the way to go.

Initially, you have to be observant and pay attention to certain things about a woman that make her uniqueness such an attractive quality. Such unique qualities are the certain way she smiles, laughs, gives that trademark look that she has perfected, and/or twirls her hair when she is truly interested in a guy. For when these qualities are combined it's a deadly combination that no guy in the world can ever ignore or resist...unless they are really stupid. It's that attention to detail that women have down pat and yet some guys choose to ignore those character traits that make her special. Consequently, it's just a matter of simply reciprocating back what a woman goes through just to keep us happy, and for that I salute you ladies.

Without question, each of us has what is considered most valuable and that is time. When it comes to a woman, guys will be absolute boneheads for not spending quality time with the one person who he supposedly cares about. It's a sad situation indeed when a relationship is in turmoil all because time wasn't set aside to spend together. In any case, time spent together doesn't always have to be face to face, for it can be through a phone call, email and/or, instant message, to simply say he or she was thinking about that person. For a heartfelt I love you that is said with meaning, shows that even though we are constantly shown masculinity on seemingly constant basis, we actually do have a sensitive side.

Undoubtedly, a gift from the heart is worth giving to someone that you are truly interested in. It's a gift in which there are no strings attached and there are no ulterior motives behind it. A gift such as a simple rose placed in a box that is wrapped nicely with a bow, shows that she is absolutely worth being with. Unfortunately, there are guys who have the stupidity gene where one doesn't take the time to give a gift such as a romantic candle lit dinner and the end result is both eating at a fast food restaurant. It's within these bad experiences of failed gift giving that all women will remember and share through the grapevine, which many of you may or may not have experienced over the years.

In retrospect, it doesn't take pick-up lines, wearing flashy clothing, driving a fast car, or having that perfect physique to touch a woman's heart. It's just a matter of showing how you truly feel about her from deep within your heart such as putting a hand on her cheek. Or merely in the embrace of each other's arms as both watch the sun rise and/or sunset as you take in that precious moment together without saying anything. Being a guy who is very observant, I take into consideration every quality that makes a woman unique and special; but I still don't know what women are thinking and probably will never know. Personally speaking, the key to touching a woman's heart, in my opinion, is to look at what's in a guy's heart and hopefully she likes what she sees and finds inside.

In One Piece

When you work in the asylum, you expect to take the occasional bumps and bruises that are associated with the job. For those that are in the childcare profession, especially in the youth division, one will suffer some wear and tear in mind and in body due to working there for so many years. Oftentimes, I share my experiences working with kids and what affect, if any, they had on me emotionally, physically, and mentally. Essentially when you apply for a job like mine, you primarily apply to be a human punching bag for kids, which says something about me....I'm a glutton for punishment. Let me just share the hazards of my job and initial brutality I have taken over the past 8 years shall we.

One of the aspects of the job that, as a guy, you never really see coming is either getting hit, punched, kicked, or kneed where the sun doesn't shine. Sometimes it's an accident but other times it's intentional and unfortunately I have suffered fairly the most pain; but my best friend would beg to differ on that. In any case, when it comes to a recreational sport such as dodgeball these kids can oftentimes be down right sadistic as they aim for either the face or below the belt. Let me tell you something, it's not a good day when you are hit in those areas...at the same time. Though it may sound funny, it's a situation that I tend to go through on a semi-daily basis to the point where wearing a cup is a much needed alternative.

During the summer, the swimming pool is one of the activities that every kid, as well as counselors, love to do because it cools each of us down from the hot weather. Yet, as a counselor, we primarily have to watch our backs due to kids wanting to drown the living daylights out of us. In all honesty, every summer there's a bunch of kids that have made it their mission to try to drown us, but not intentionally. Thinking about it, over the years it happens more to the guys than the girls primarily because, in the past, the teenage boys have had crushes on the female counselors. So, if you guys don't get any emails from me over the summer, then their mission was a success, but hopefully that doesn't happen. *knock on wood*

When I first started at the asylum I never had any back problems; but when that first child jumped on my back 8 years ago, it started a downward spiral. These kids thrive on jumping on our backs and trying to take us down in the process. I can't tell you the number of times kids, out of nowhere, have taken me down and when they have me down a massive dog pile ensues. It's not a pretty picture as you see 6 and 7 year old bodies just jump on top of a 28 year old man with the expressed purpose of either bodily injury or knocking the wind out of him. In some aspect, they are little like mini-ninjas who are getting ready to pounce on their intended target and they do it with such cat-like stealth which is very impressive.

In retrospect, when I take a look back at what the kids have done to me, I laugh and smile. Why you may ask? Well, because in a weird way, I know that the kids still like me because they care enough to check how I am doing afterwards when I'm face down or up on the ground. Things have changed over the years since I started back in 1999, but the one thing that hasn't changed is the spirit of fun. When I first started my job, I was a young 19 year old kid that felt no pain the next day after a basketball game with the kids. Now as a 28 year old man, I'm in pain before, during, and after the basketball game with the kids. In the end, after 8 years of taking the best these kids had to offer, I'm still in one piece physically but mentally...not so much.

First Time For Everything

Someone once said, ~Falling in love for the first time is easy. It's the second time around, after you had fallen and trusted someone to catch you for the first time and they didn't, when it becomes difficult to let yourself fall in love again.~ Essentially, we really never forget that guy or girl who started one's heart beating harder and faster to the point where it will be changed for better or for worse. If you think about it, it's that guy or girl that is usually the basis for one's timeline of either successful or failed relationships. Did that person ever change your perspective on other potential and/or significant relationships after being with him or her? Let me ask you this question, do you remember your first love?

Its a funny thing about a first love, one tends to never really get over that person because he or she was a very instrumental part of your life. It's that first guy or girl who opened your eyes to a whole new world; a world that one has never been or has been in, but not fully experienced it. Its a dynamic that is somewhat uncomfortable at first but you get used to it because he or she, in a way, helped bring you out of your shell. Due to his or her influence, you tend to give specific guys or girls with that person's hair color a second look. We all have our preferences as some like blondes, others redheads; but for a person like myself I'm a brunette/dark black hair kind of guy because it brings out the mysteriousness in a woman.

Yet, as with first love, things will happen that will have two people grow apart, but it's because of that person you, in a way, can thank him or her for helping you cross over into the next stage of your life with someone else. A sort of stepping stone, in a manner of speaking, from a young, immature kid to a mature, grown adult where you will learn what being in a relationship is truly all about. For its within that relationship you couldn't say anything bad about him or her because that person helped you grow within yourself. Each of us has someone like this in our lives that one can call, email, instant message, or personally talk to who you share a special and valuable friendship with.

Undoubtedly, we all have a story of the one that got away. It's that person, who when one spent time with, you basically imagined yourself growing old and having kids with him or her. Initially, it's that guy or girl who you spent more time with than your friends and family combined to the point where both of you were absolutely inseparable. Thinking about it, it's that person who is oftentimes portrayed as "out of your league" and yet he or she ends up with you, which can be mind blowing for you and anyone else. Consequently, he or she will always be in your thoughts and one will be reminded of how he or she made life that much more liveable. For a special place will and always be made in one's heart for that person who when you reflect back, you think to yourself what could have been.

Rosemary Rogers said, ~First romance, first love, is something so special to all of us, both emotionally and physically, that it touches our lives and enriches them forever." In retrospect, when it comes to first love, one rarely ever focuses on the bad memories but rather the good ones. Though it may hurt to look back, it's a good kind of hurt that makes you smile, laugh and cry all at the same time. Nobody will ever compare with your first love as you experience a plethora of emotions and situations that were absolutely new to you. Ultimately, there is a first time for everything as you experience all the same emotions and situations that come with falling in love; but with someone new and under a different set of circumstances.