Good and Ready

What is real love? That my friends is the million dollar question that hopefully might get answered. Love means so many different things to so many people and yet it is the one thing that everyone wants in his or her life. But the funny things is, that when it comes one's way, a person can totally mess it up by trying to relive the past. Getting back something what he or she had and reliving it through someone else that one is interested in. In any case, when each of us suffer heartbreak, one has to re-learn what leave means for ourselves all over again. For it's a work in progress that constantly keeps changing and quite possibly a person might not even know for sure what love is.

Undoubtedly, people are attracted to each other by the physical aspects, its what keeps life interesting at times. We've all been attracted to someone that peaks our interest only to find that he or she didn't live up to one's expectations. Yet, it's that so called rush one gets when meeting someone new as two eyes are locked on one another and some kind of connection is formed. Every person has heard the phrase, love at first sight, but is it really love? I don't think so, it's more of an infatuation than actually being in love where a person simply is initially attracted to the attractive outside covering. It's not until one metaphorically strips away that outside covering that he or she will truly see the real person inside.

In some aspects, real love doesn't go away or vanish into thin air, but it does change. Each of us can remember a time where you were happy with someone but now you are even happier and committed to someone else. In the whole of scheme of things, life would be so much simpler and less crazy if a person had only one true love for life. But, life isn't that simple and oftentimes it doesn't work they way we want it to. Ultimately one just has to keep going through the bad experiences until that one great experience will keep you, as well as, your heart smiling. Though each of us may fail at times, it's not really a failure but rather a success as you keep trying until you get it right.

Falling in and out of love is something some people are good at and usually certain celebrities are very good in that department. As glamorous as their lives are, they can't quite seem to grasp of what love really is and it's proven by break-ups, multiple marriage, and divorces. We all know friends that fall in love every other day of the week, does he or she truly know what love is. I don't think so, for you see each and every person is uniquely different from each other. What may be right for one person, isn't really your cup of tea, in a manner of speaking. Our job is to find out who is right for ourselves and not compare what our friends are supposedly right for them which may one may never find out.

I started this thought by asking what is real love? In my opinion, real love is between two people who have a deep friendship who truly know and care unselfishly for one another. Though it's not easy, which it will never be, it's the most valuable commodity that can bever be bought or sold. A friend recently said to me, ~ Love can be forever or temporary, it's all in what you make of it. It is something that has to be conditioned, tuned up, updated, and revamped. It's not just something you can take for granted and that will always just be. Love knows where you are ready, even if you don't think you are.~ In retrospect, what does real love mean to you and will you be good and ready when it finds you?

The Real Deal

P.T. Barnum once said, ~You can fool some of the people some of the time, and you can fool all the people some of the time, but you can't fool all the people all of the time.~ In our own pursuit of happiness, whether it be person or professional, one tends to sometimes be fooled by the outside appearances of certain people, places, or things. It's not until we find out during or at the end of one's seemingly drama-filled life that we tend to give a premature verdict when we, as the saying goes, judge a book by its proverbial cover. What may look too good to be true in the beginning ends with a painful price, which is utter heartbreak. Ultimately, when it comes to potential relationships, it's just a matter of distinguishing fact from faction.

The one basic fact that every person can agree on is that love can and does oftentimes stink. We've all experienced the pratfalls of either being turned down, dumped, having one's feelings not returned back by that particular person, unrequited love, or been cheated on. Though cold and heartless it may see, that's life and we just have to roll with the punches, so to speak. In a way, it's like being in a heavyweight boxing match in which there are times where we want to throw in the towel and give up. Though we are physically and mentally drained, our own heart will drive us to keep on going and going and going. For it's one's own heart that doesn't want to be counted out because it still has some fight left in it.

Most or some women believe that all guys have a hidden agenda when they meet someone he is interested in which is purely fiction. True, some guys, who are the self proclaimed "players" and/or "ladies men" who basically give every other decent guy in America a bad wrap because we're basically guilty by association. Working with mostly women for the past several years has given me somewhat of an inside scoop into what women want, like, and dislike. From my own perspective, a woman should be treated like a lady and she should be treated with the same respect as if a guy were dating my own mother. Yet, it will always be a Catch 22, when something such as love gets involved.

For it's definitely a fact that the human condition in all guys are basically hunters. From a philosophical standpoint, it's that thrill of the hunt or chase that is always flowing in our veins and it will never go away. Unfortunately, particular guys have this sophomoric and deluded ideology that women are merely conquests to brag about and add to one's little black book. To some guys, the hunt is just a game that ends up hurting someone that doesn't deserve to be hurt. Anyways, personally speaking, I have temporarily given up on the so-called hunt because in the back of my mind, I think she will catch me. Let me tell you something, I don't like playing games and I'm not that hard to find.

In retrospect, a person can be fooled once, possibly twice, but never a third time because one will be cautious as matters of the heart will be temporarily or permanently closed due to trust issues. The question can be asked, how do you know if that person who is interested in you is telling the truth? You can't, you just have to go with your instincts. Inevitably, each of us will meet someone that will slip past one's proverbial radar screens and that is a fact. But not ever opening up your heart and not falling in love again is fiction. In the end, whether it be fact or fiction, when you finally meet that one person who is genuinely the total package, he or she will truly be considered the real deal.

End Of The Line

Let me ask you this question, were you the type of child that always wanted to be first in line? For its within a child's mind that if he or she is first in line one will get some type of special reward handed to him or her. Working with kids over the years, I witnessed countless kids scratch, claw, push, shove, trip, and elbow their way to get to that number one spot. Once the dust settles, so to speak, kids are either on the floor crying due to being knocked to the floor, some are having pushing and shoving matches to be behind the number one girl or boy, and others are complaining that he or she is cutting in front of him or her in line. *Sigh* Welcome to my world folks, would you like to come in and stay for a bit?

It can truly befuddle the mind of a full grown adult that kids are fighting for a spot in line that will take each and every child both in front, middle, and back to the same place. In some aspects, it's a whole lot safer to be in the middle or somewhere in the back rather than in the front. In a way, it's that power to be the leader of the pack that you have to deal with another child trying to steal your spot and take over one's leadership position away from him or her. Though it may sound funny to each of us who have hopefully outgrown these childish antics and/or behavior and matured, to a child it's that competitive spirit that will probably help him or her in the real world one day.

Yet, each of us may not want to be first in line anymore; but a person does want to be the first to attain the finer things in life such as a car, house, spouse, or that successful job one dreams about. Inevitably, one just wants to be either two steps in front or beyond his or her competition, which oftentimes is one's own friends. For each of us can be somewhat green with envy as we see close friends or associates getting ahead of the line or completely cutting it. We've all heard of people making it big who didn't want to take the road less traveled and just tried to keep cutting in line to get into a spot that might possibly get himself or herself in or near the front of the line.

In any case, as each of us grow up and get into the groove of the daily grind, we will find ourselves stepping into many lines. Lines that either flow smoothly or take forever to move such as the back, doctor's office, dentist, or the post office. It can really test a person's patience standing or waiting in line for minutes or hours on end waiting for something to someone and not go completely insane. As young kids, we learned that patience is a virtue, but for some patience is not one of their strong suits as they want to be at the front of the line as soon as possible because he or she has things to do and people to see. For it's just a matter of keeping one's composure when the line of life isn't moving quickly enough.

It's been said that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. In the whole scheme of things, a person has to try to keep on the straight and narrow to avoid being sent to the back of the line, so to speak. It's at the back of the line that a person actually has time to see the bigger picture of one's own mistakes that he or she has made. Thinking about it, being number one isn't all that its cracked up to be as you spend time constantly wondering who is going to take your spot away from you. In retrospect, each of us are all heading in the same direction as we fight to be on top of that proverbial totem pole to one's goal; but it's from the end of the line that we all started our journey to our intended goal.

Final Answer

Leo Buscaglia once said, ~Most of us are pawns in the game of love we don't understand.~ Every person oftentimes feels like the rules are constantly being changed on each of us. it can get to the point where one can get completely confused when there is the slightest hint of a possibility one might fall in love with someone. Life would be much simpler if love came with an instruction manual. For it would tell us where to place ourselves on the board game of life and where specifically we will meet that one special person. In some aspects, when it comes to love, we're all on that proverbial hot seat trying to answer the tough questions somewhat like on that popular game show Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.

In some aspects, the beginning of the game is always easy because the questions asked are simple to answer. The proverbial no brainers that don't need any brain power to figure out. For it's that one simple question that asks what type of person are you looking for in a potential mate? Some, maybe most, of the female population is looking for the stereotypical tall, dark, and handsome kind of guy. Whereas, for the guys, it's just a matter of finding that so-called diamond in the rough who is willing to put up with all the stupid things we eventually do and say somewhere down the road. For it's when each of us thinks we have the answers all figured out, the questions will become harder as time passes on.

Inevitably, there will come a point where each of us will call for a lifeline. One such lifeline is asking the audience which primarily is one's friends and family. A person will sometimes seek their guidance in order to advise him or her on the best alternatives in seeking a possible relationship with that particular person. Yet, most of the time, one ignores the advice given due to conflicting answers to which he or she must leave it up to one's capable hands on who is right for him or her. Oftentimes, that choice has either substantially gained quite a bit more or absolutely bottomed out in which he or she ultimately ends up with nothing but one's high expectations being deflated.

Consequently that proverbial 50/50 shot is given to every person when one is in a dilemma in deciding who one wants to be with when it involves either two guys or two girls. A person just has to weigh the options between the person you are absolutely attracted to visually and makes your heart melt or the person who has been or will always be there for you without ever asking. For some it's a tough decision that will make any person sick to their stomach. One just has to come to a realization in which he or she has to ask himself or herself this question: Who couldn't I ever imagine my life without him or her in it? For he or she is the person that unquestionably will always be the one that truly made your heart smile.

In retrospect, each of us may or may not have the chance to ever sit across from Regis Philbin and possibly have our dreams of a stable financial future come true. Yet, each of us sits or will sit across from that one person, who is considered bigger than any celebrity one will ever meet in his or her life. For that stable financial future has or will come true because true happiness makes two people rich beyond their years. In the end, it's that million dollar question for those that haven't found that someone special yet which asks: Will you ever find true love? For one's choices are: A.) Maybe B.) Someday C.) Never D.) I Don't Know. Speaking for myself I choose B) Someday, and yes, that is my final answer.

With Arms Wide Open

Jacques Prevert once said, ~Millions and millions of years would still not give me half enough time to describe that tiny constant of all eternity when you put your arms around me and I put my arms around you.~ Let me ask you this question, when was the last time you hugged someone or someone hugged you? If you think about it, a hug can be very therapeutic because it can either take the pain away from heartbreak, ease the tension in a seemingly stressful day, or just show a sign of affection from one person to another. Yet, it can be just a simple greeting between two people or a group of people that haven't seen each other in days, weeks, months, or even years.

When it comes to giving someone a hug, men and women do it differently. Subsequently, there are two styles, which are the regular way and then there is the guy way. Women tend to react differently than guys when they haven't seen someone for quite some time. It's a level of excitement that somewhat overflows to a point where warm, friendly embraces run amuck. On the other hand for guys, it's totally opposite as we take that level of excitement down several notches. It's usually a head nod, then the obligatory handshake, which then leads into the shoulder bump, and ends with the proverbial pat on the back. It's that solemn and usually reserved greeting that again deems it another guy thing that we just do.

Working with kids for the past several years, I have received countless amounts of hugs from kids that genuinely like me for who I am. For in their eyes, I'm a weird, wacky, strange, sometimes mean, fun-loving counselor that takes their abuse and torture day in and day out; but I love them anyway. Let me tell you something, it's quite an event when you are unknowingly tackled to the ground by forty potential mini-linebackers who all at once are attempting to give you a massive group hug that will knock a person down. In any case, it is reciprocated as I give them bear hugs and oftentimes hug them when one is sad or injured themselves to take their mind off what just happened to them.

In some cases, when a person is locked in the arms of someone who cares for him or her either as a friend, family member, or one's potential and/or significant other you feel absolutely safe. It's that mindset that nothing will ever harm you when you are in the arms of the one you love or at least care about. While embracing, the beating of two hearts can be absolutely felt, as well as, heard depending on the size differential. Anyways, just like a kiss, a hug can most certainly determine one's intended interest in that particular person and it's all in how he or she holds him or her. Whether you are big, small, short, or tall, a hug coming from someone that means so much to you, whoever that may be, is worth receiving and giving back.

Someone once said, ~Hugging has no unpleasant side effects and is all natural. There are no batteries to replace, its inflation-proof and non-flattening with no monthly payments. It's non-taxable, non-polluting, and is of course, fully refundable.~ In other words, what is received can be given back as well. In the whole scheme of things, it doesn't cost a dime and you can freely give it to anyone you want. It would be an interesting concept if someone went out and gave hugs to people that they absolutely needed, like people who are really having a bad day and just hugged him or her. Though awkward at first, it's with arms wide open that a hug can make a person's day, as well as, your day seem that much special.

Why Me

Someone once said, ~Momentum is largely a matter of perception, and therein lies its power. When two or three disagreeable things happen, you suddenly see yourself having a bad day, it truly becomes a bad day, not because of some outside force or twist of fate, but because of your own chosen perception.~ Every person has had at some point one of THOSE days that tend to make one's day seem like it was never going to end, We've all woken up and as soon as you got out of bed you had that proverbial gut feeling and something told you it wasn't going to be a good one. In some aspects, it's like having somewhat of a sixth sense that can sometimes be wrong.

Oftentimes the weather can play somewhat of a key role in one's day of drea. It can be an absolute test in one's patience as his or her day with a forecast that calls for rain. In some ways, rain is the quintessential kryptonite for regular people who don't have superpowers because we don't want to get sick, but yet we do. Each one of us has been in a situation where we had to either walk or run in through rain because one left his or her umbrella either at home or in the car. Let me tell you something, it can be an absolutely uncomfortable experience sitting in a cold classroom and shivering due to one's clothes being completely soaked from head to toe.

Getting a ticket or getting into a car accident can most definitely ruin one's day. Let me ask you a question, have you ever tried talking your way out of a ticket and did it ever work? I don't know about guys, but women can use their charms to get out of it....most of the time. If we ever tried it, we would just get ticketed twice and that means more money to pay. Getting into a car accident, on the other hand, can mess up one's day immensely because your basic mode of transportation is either slightly or severely damaged. It can be a real bummer not being able to drive for several months after getting into an accident in the rain, which is a double whammy, take it from me.

There comes a point where one's bad day can turn even worse and I've experienced it to the fullest working in the asylum. There are some days I love going to work and interacting with "my kids." Then there are days where I consider some, but not all of them, children of the corn. As I've said in the past, they may look like sweet little angels on the outside, but on the inside there are mini-Hannible Lectre's lurking in each of them just waiting to come out. I kid you not, there are days where I ask my friends and parents as well, to take a particular foreign object that I hand them and knock me completely out so the day will be over. It really hasn't happened yet, but one day it will.

In the long run, a person can have that mindset that his or her day will continually worsen as the day progresses. Or one can have the mindset you will see the tides turn into your favor, he or she just needs to have a positive outlook. Ultimately when one's day is finally over, a person will either spend time alone, listen to music, watch tv, make it a blockbuster night, go to the movies, or the best alternative is to sleep it off. It’s just a matter of finding what works for you to not remember one's painful experience. In the end, every person's bad day will culminate by hanging his or her head, then looking up to the skies above, and ask the big man upstairs this question, Why me?

Scratching The Surface

If you think about it, love can take shape in many different forms, big or small it really doesn't matter. For it's been said that if you stop looking then that will be the time it will show up at your doorstep so to speak. Do you think this is true? Let me ask you this question, when one is in search of that so-called perfect person, he or she will sometimes settle for someone that doesn't really make him or her happy. One can witness so many relationships fail and in turn second guess your own potential relationship that will one day become a serious relationship. As it has been said before, a person can have a sense of false hope that will have a person get one's heart broken every time.

Every guy at some point has tried to hook up with a female friend, but in the end it is the decision to be "just friends" in her eyes alone. Though that unrequited love was never reciprocated, that friendship is still intact. Yet, it can be truly disconcerting when you become the proverbial shoulder to cry on when dates or that significant relationship didn't work out well. The go-to-guy to hear all the qualities that didn't necessarily make that particular guy the prince charming that he turned out to be, which was known all along and warned about about several times. It can be a frustrating situation indeed when she says she wants someone like you, but not you and that can be taken as a compliment, as well as, an insult.

In any case, life can be considered great, but when that one person you fall in love with shows up, life just gets even better. It's that one person that you unknowingly send a vibe that sends a message to him or her that you are absolutely comfortable with yourself to be around that person. He or she is the one that will tell you to continue to be who you are, which make you unique and distinguishable among the rest of the pack. A person has to learn to be able to accept one's idiosyncrasies, however strange or annoying it may be to me, which shows a growing love for each other. Inevitably, that person will absolutely appreciate and hopefully not take for granted what one has in front of him or her.

Undoubtedly, each of us would like to think that the person we fall in love with is the one that we spend the rest of our nights and days with. It can be a daunting task to keep wasting one's time opening up one's heart to that guy or girl and just have that person break it all over again. It basically comes back to the issue of trust as you are placing your heart in that person's hands. A person just has to learn from experience and hopefully one's heart doesn't turn black as night to the possibility that he or she will find true love. Though the pain we each suffer at times is disguised as that so-called handsome guy or beautiful woman, one will ultimately get stronger in mind, body, soul and especially in your heart.

In retrospect, I don't claim to be an expert in these matters. I just say what I feel and observe what is around me on a semi-daily basis. The past Yodaisms that I've written and sent out are thoughts written down on paper to help grasp a sometimes confusing thing such as life, love, family, and/or relationships. Oftentimes, when it comes to love you have to give a little to get more back. Ladies will encounter jerks and guys will cross paths with that heartbreaker, it's a given. One just has to truly see the person who is standing in front of you and what you might find can scare you, but make you smile. In the end, a person just has to keep scratching the surface until what is revealed underneath is the guy or girl one has been waiting a lifetime for.

Shape Of Things To Come

Louis L'Amour once said, ~Up to a point a man's life is shaped by environment, heredity, and movements and changes in the world about him. Then there comes a time when it lies within his grasp to shape the clay of his life into the sort of thing he wishes to be. Only the weak blame parents, their race, their times, lack of good fortune, or the quirks of fate. Everyone has it within his power to say, "This I am today; that I will be tomorrow."~ At some point every person looks back at one's life up until now and does a self evaluation. A self evaluation in which he or she ponders if the mistakes that were made or not made would have put him or her in the position that one is now in life.

As it has been previously said, our lives are like a piece of clay that we can shape it to be as we wish it. In some aspects, it seems simple enough to mold our lives the way we want it to be. To direct certain important or unimportant details to or away from us. The imperfections, whether they be big or small, basically smoothed out so that no bumps or cracks are shown. It's within those bumps and cracks that a person tries to be as perfect as one can be and have that so-called perfect life. A life in which there are no worries and every problem that one faces is solved in an instant. But the reality of it all is that one has to keep in mind that like life, a person isn't as perfect as one thinks or hopes to be.

Think back to your own childhood when you were in preschool or in elementary school and you made something out of clay for your mom or dad. It was usually a plate that really didn't look like one but more resembled like an ashtray; yet it didn't matter because to you it was a masterpiece. One's parent(s) didn't care what it looked like because it was made from the heart and the imperfections were insignificant. For it was one's hard work into shaping something that somewhat resembled a particular object that was made out of love that much more special. As a person who works with kids, it feels good to get something from the heart from them because they took the time to make it especially for you.

Undoubtedly as adults we have an obligation to mold a child's mind in today's society into respectable young men and women. Oftentimes the clay we are given doesn't want to be shaped and one basically feels that there is no hope for him or her. Yet, it's that pessimistic attitude that can totally surprise a person when that same child is seen again as an adult and changed immensely. Though one didn't fully mold the clay, the impressions that he or she made on that child made somewhat of an impact. It's that particular person who started the process and it was up to that child to finish it by flattening out the rough spots in his or her life. A life in which he or she just required some much needed encouragement.

In retrospect, each of us are still being molded today and what will be the end result is anybody's guess at this point. Every mistake, heartbreak, victory, setback, failure, tragedy, and triumphs happened for a reason. But the question still remains, would one be at his or her particular point in one's life if those things never happened? Who knows, one just has to work with the clay that he or she has and find out for yourself. Eventually the life you always wanted will come to fruition, it just takes time and patience for one's piece of clay to turn into something spectacular. Inevitably, we all don't know what tomorrow brings and yet it's the shape of thing to come that makes life absolutely interesting.

Rise and Shine

Groucho Marx once said,~Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet, I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it." Waking up can be the easiest or toughest thing a person can do when one has to go to work or go to school. It often seems like as one gets older it gets harder and harder to motivate oneself to get out of bed. In some aspect, we all don't want to be awakened from that deep slumber that transports us to a place that nobody else can physically be. So then, let me ask you this question, are you a morning person?

We all know someone or are that person that is just way too happy in the morning and it can really be annoying to some or most people. It's that type of person that springs out of bed, who has that early to bed, early to rise mentality and watches the sun rise as he or she sips one's morning coffee. It's a person's chipper attitude combined with that proverbial kick in his or her step that can make any "normal" person either knock that person out or turn right around and go back into one's warm, comfortable bed. Yet, it's that same person who can absolutely motivate a person and jump start one's day like a dead car battery that is out of juice in one's car.

On the other side of that coin, you have a person like me who is totally the opposite. It's that type of person who when he or she opens one's eyes, looks straight up at the ceiling, and has to negotiate himself or herself to get up. When one does finally get up, a person is still trying to get his or her bearings straight and words are either mumbled or all connected together to make one long totally non-understandable word. It can be quite comical as you pass by someone who has been up for a while and they have to figure out what you just said to them. In any case, it's really hard to comprehend anything when one's mind is still in la la land and probably will be there until one fully wakes up, which for me is around noonish.

For some people, being a morning person is considered an inherited gene such as with a person who is a night person; in other words it's in one's blood. It's basically the type of person who can be best suited working in the daytime or nighttime, also added with that the mood he or she is in. Personally speaking, I am a person who goes to bed around 1am and gets up before my alarm clock turns on at 6am. It's just one of those things that no matter what I do, I wake up right before the time I should get up even though there are days where I don't have to go to work or class which ticks me off. Inevitably, it's that internal college clock that will always stay on and will never be able to be turned off.

In retrospect, for some people being a night person means more excitement and having more creativity. On the other hand, being a morning person you can be up all by yourself and gather your thoughts for the day. One can completely argue or debate it to the ground but the one thing that can be agreed upon is that each of us have either been or still are a night person, a morning person, or have switched sides. In the whole scheme of things there isn't really much of an advantage or disadvantage of being a person who is an early bird or night owl, so to speak. In the end, as long as a person gets some sleep, he or she will be able to rise and shine and get one's day started whenever that may be.

Trail of Tears

Una Stannard said, ~Men are no more immune from emotions than women; we think women are more emotion because the culture lets them give free vent to certain feelings, "feminine" ones that is, no anger please; but it's okay to turn on the waterworks.~ People tend to cry for several different reasons and oftentimes no reason at all. Every person has a complicated and/or stressful life; even though one seems to be put together on the outside, on the inside he or she can be mentally breaking down. Each one of us aren't immune and it basically shows that we're only human and no matter how tough one is, you sometimes have to let it all out to feel a whole lot better.

Let me tell you something, guys don't really want to admit they cry because, in our own thinking, it will bring down our masculinity. For the male species, we were taught since we were little kids not to cry. For at some point in our lives, if we ever hurt ourselves we would hear these words coming from our father's mouth, ~You're ok, just shake it off.~ It's a guy thing and we only cry when our favorite sports team wins a major championship like the Boston Red Sox. Red Sox fans have an obligation to cry after finally winning a championship after 86 years and have the curse of Babe Ruth lifted. They can now die happy knowing that the tears that they have shed through the years came to fruition in 2004.

It's truly amazing how women can cry in a snap of a finger. It can be somewhat comical as when guys encounter women or young ladies who are balling their eyes out. In some aspects, to a guy it’s like stumbling on a really sensitive explosive and we have no idea how to turn it off. In my case, working with kids, especially little girls, I've found that a way to comfort a crying child who is either having a really bad day or just missing their parent(s) is just to make them laugh. For its when you see that big and bright smile beaming from a 6 or 7 year old's face, you not only have a warm fuzzy feeling inside you; but you also, in a way, feel like a father comforting a daughter.

D.H. Mondfleur once said, ~I like the snot to run a little, the tears to accumulate a bit before reaching for the handkerchief. Then I know I'm really crying. Crying just isn't crying unless it's messy.~ Let me ask you this question, when was the last time you cried? Certain situations can make a person start to tear up and such examples are watching a certain movie or television show, listening to a song, losing a friend or family member, and most often suffering heartbreak that causes one to go through endless amounts of tissues. Personally speaking, the last time I really cried that I could remember was when I was a kid watching the movies Charlotte's Web and Savannah Smiles.

In retrospect, there are many types of crying such as sympathetic, whining, manipulative, sensitive, and that ever popular temper tantrum. Someone has done these types of crying as a kid or even as an adult. Whether it be years, months, weeks, days, or just recently a person will be in a situation where one just needs to open up the floodgates. Inevitably, one's friends, family, or loved one will help comfort you when one most needs it. Thinking about it, each one of us has the right to let out all the emotions he or she has kept inside when times of tragedy, strife, or even joy for that matter come our way. In the end, it's the trail of tears that one sheds from childhood to one' latter years that make you stronger as time goes by.

Guilty As Charged

Charles Stanley once said, ~Romantic love reaches out in little ways, showing attention and admiration. Romantic love remembers what pleases a woman, what excites her, and what surprises her. Its actions whisper: you are the most special person in my life.~ The word romance is defined as an ardent emotional attachment between two people. In some aspects, when a person hears the word romance, he or she can have a sour look on one's face, so to speak, because that person doesn't believe in it due to that person's past experiences. Every person has a different interpretation of what romance means and yet the concept of what it is remains the same.

Let me ask you this question, what does romance mean to you? When it comes to romance between two people, it doesn't necessarily mean the physical aspect is always involved. We all know someone or were involved in a significant relationship that was based solely on the physical and even there there was love, the passion that was shared is missing. Inevitably two people can create a romantic atmosphere with the surroundings that have and bring back that passion. One just has to simply improvise and one can do that by either talking to each other, going to a movie that she would like, a candle light dinner, going out dancing, or simply sitting on the beach at night and looking up at the stars.

Yet, for most guys and women as well, the fear of intimacy can sometimes come into play when one wants to be in a relationship or already is in a significant relationship. It's basically that fear every person has of completely letting down their guard that he or she has built up. For its that mentality that if you let go and completely fall in love with someone, you run the risk of getting your heart broken. But that's part of life as some of us, who are single, travel the lonely road that hopefully leads into the arms of that one special person. Subsequently, it's one's basic fears of love brought to the surface by that one person who you want to put your trust in and can be absolutely comfortable just being yourself.

Oftentimes, giving someone that you truly care about flowers is considered a romantic gesture from the heart. Undoubtedly, roses are the choice flowers to give when showing absolute affection to someone that you probably would imagine spending the rest of your life with. Whether the cost is a dollar or fifty dollars, does it really matter when it comes to giving something that will put a smile on someone's face and make one's day? Yet, one can be romantic even though there isn't any personal connection at all. On such a day is Valentine's Day, which my best friend and I are planning to have roses delivered to the asylum for the female co-workers. A token of appreciation from two guys who want to do something nice.

About 2 days ago, I received an email from a friend that kind of surprised me. She said that I was romantic after she read a particular Yodaism. To be perfectly honest, I don't really consider myself romantic, I'm just a person who writes what he feels. For if it tugs at a certain emotion for particular people then that is an added bonus. In a way, when I write on topics such as love and relationships, I tap into something from within my heart and soul that I hope one day to fully express to that special lady in person. You see, I'm a person who believes in "the one", wishing on that one bright star, and love that lasts forever. In retrospect, that type of person is considered a hopeless romantic; well if that be the case, then I'm guilty as charged.

Break The Cycle

Frank B. Gilberth said, ~We're worn into grooves by time-by our habits. In the end, these grooves are going to show whether we've been second rate or champions, each in his way in dispatching the affairs of every day. By choosing our habits, we determines the groove into which time will wear us; and these are grooves that enrich our lives and make for ease of mind, peace, happiness, and achievement.~ If you think about it, we're all creatures of habit that tend to predict our actions in the way we do things. Whether or not one acknowledges or refuses to acknowledge it, our habits somewhat define who we are. It's these particular habits that people consider annoying, humorous, strange, and/or interesting.

The one habit that people tend to share is biting his or her fingernails which is annoying to most people. We all do it either when we are stressed out, worried, or in a thinking mood that will oftentimes leave one's fingernails almost chewed completely off. Nobody is really immune to it and to tell you the truth I do because, in a way, it helps me think up new topics to write about which never come easy. I'm the type of person who thinks way too much and you can imagine how my fingernails look. Oftentimes biting one's fingernails is considered a lazy alternative than finding nail clippers and cutting them neatly. Unfortunately, one will pay for it in the end as you unintentionally expose the skin under the nail which is not a pretty sight indeed.

Some habits can be a combination of interesting, strange and humorous. Yet, it's not so much a habit but rather a ritual one goes through like a person knocking on wood for luck. Personally speaking, I have a ritual that I go through when I adjust my hat and the way I do it would be best described as how a baseball manager gives signs to his players from the dugout. I tend to get strange and humorous looks from "my kids" when they proceed to ask me what in the world I'm doing. In any case, it's these particular rituals that a person does over and over again that can slightly border on obsessive compulsiveness. One such example is washing one's hands. When it comes to working with kids, you have to wash your hands on a regular basis because they can spread germs quickly.

Let me ask you this question, are you a person or know a person who is a sleepwalker? It is a very interesting, humorous, and yet dangerous habit as one does or says things that one will not remember in the morning, unless blackmail is involved but that's a whole other subject that I won't get into. Anyways...in some aspects, it's somewhat like a person drinking way too much, passes out, wakes up with a hangover and absolutely doesn't know what happened to him or her the previous night. Let me tell you something, it can be a strange experience waking up in a place that is not your own room like the garage or the back seat of your car for instance, which has happened to me a number of times.

Frank A. Clark once said, ~A habit is something you can do without thinking - which is why most of us have so many of them.~ During my tenure in Youth Center or the Insane Asylum as I like to call it; I used to have a habit of giving three basic responses whenever I get called into the office. Response #1: Whatever it is, I didn't do it; Response #2: Whatever happened, I was nowhere near it because I have an alibi; and Response #3: Am I fired?, which doesn't get used that often. In any case, we all have habits that one needs to take care of; for it's an endless cycle that a person will continue to keep into the latter years of one's life. For it's a new year, one must take up the initiative and simply try to break the cycle.

That One Bright Star

Someone once said, ~If you could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand. We've all at some point in our lives gazed at the stars. It's a pastime that can have a calming effect on a person as one looks up at the vastness and beauty of the infinite universe. It's up in that so-called final frontier where a person almost sees every single star that is unique in their own way. Those particular stars illuminate the skies above and tend to show the way to one's intended destination. In some aspects, there is one star that shines brighter than the rest and it's that one particular star each of us gaze at that we make our personal wish on.

In a way, each of us can be somewhat compared to Fievel from American Tail as we sit amongst our thoughts and ponder whether or not that one special person is somewhere out there. Though separated by miles, one can't help but feel that he or she is close by which is a feeling most people have encountered. The one person, who may be saying the same prayer and wishing on that same star, which is sometimes considered a fool's hope. Yet, even though it is a fool's hope one continues to look up at the sky on a semi-nightly basis and make that prayer and/or wish for love to come his or her way. It's that one wish that oftentimes will or won't come true, but it's just a matter of believing it will happen.

Undoubtedly, there will be times where we will have stars in our eyes and be either temporarily or permanently blinded by a particular person's glow. It's a glow that totally mesmerizes a person until the focus in one's eyes becomes much clearer. Like stars burning out from the night sky, the light that shined brightly on one's eyes for that particular person, who one has been chasing after slowly burns out as well. It's that proverbial high that one experiences when meeting someone that he or she is infatuated with. For when it wears off, a person can only stand back and realize that he or she has just been getting totally lost. One just has to let go and watch it return to that celestial sea of light that is in the night sky.

Let me ask you this question, when was the last time you looked up at the stars and were you with someone that you really cared about? Think about this, it's when we look up at the stars that we dream of where we want to go and who we want to be with. We've all had that spark from within get extinguished when we suffer heartbreak; but somehow it tends never to die because the fire within keeps burns even though we may suffer some failure at times. One can come so close and yet fall short in finding true happiness. A person just has to ground themselves and have patience because one's true star will shine their way. For it was Kasey Kasem who said, ~Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars.

Eric Clapton said, ~If I could reach the stars, pull one down for you, shine it in my heart, so you could see the truth, then this love I have inside is everything it seems, but for now I find it only in my dreams.~ In retrospect, each of us are stars among a billion others stars that shine brightly with the rest. Oftentimes, one may feel that he or she may not be twinkling brighter than the others which can make us feel unworthy to be looked at from a telescopic lens. One just has to remember we're part of something that is bigger than all of us. In the end, it's truly amazing that there are billions of stars that haven't been seen; but it's when one sees into the eyes of that one bright star you truly love, you have a billion reasons to smile.

A Guy Thing

To understand a guy, you don't have to really think that hard to figure us out. The male species is considered more basic than complex because we are all about simplicity. We thought about it and then moved on and that is why man invented instant replay. For when something semi-important happens we have a referee to check and tell us if the play was correct or not. When it comes to using the most powerful muscle in the brain, it's not one of our strong suits because when we start to think we usually get into hot water afterwards. Inevitably, when it comes to using brain power, women have us beat hands down. There is no denying it because quite frankly we don't like to think, it hurts our head.

When it comes to fashion, guys rarely don't have that eye for style as women do. It's that attention to detail that we don't have the time and patience for because as long as our clothes fit we will wear them. For when it comes to buying clothes, we tend to use a military-like strategy. When we go into the store we seek out our objective and when our objective is met it's a job well done. Let me tell you something, if you asked us to describe what we are wearing from the neck down our response would be a shirt, pants, and shoes. Plain and simple, nothing to go into detail over and we get straight to the point. For it's our mentality that if it absolutely feels comfortable, we will wear it even if it doesn't match.

The one thing that every person shares in common is that each of us has a butt. Yet a guy will not worry over the size and/or shape of his rear end because in the whole scheme of things, we really don't care what it looks like as long as we know it's still there. There are occasions we oftentimes don't realize we have one until it itches or a potentially potent gas is released due to eating foods that involve using salsa on it. It's been said that a guy's rear end is connected to our brain and when we scratch it, it helps in the thinking process, which hasn't been scientifically proven to be fact. In any case, when it comes to the buttocks, as long as we can still sit on it we're still happy campers.

As said before, guys are known for random acts of stupidity that would cause absolutely embarrassment, bewilderment, and/or bodily harm. Every guy knows or is friends with that one person who will do something so outlandish that stupid isn't quite the word you would look for. Personally speaking, I have a friend who stopped his car in the middle of traffic, went out, ran around it, got back into his car and drove off. His honest to goodness explanation was that he just wanted to do it which to me was the most dangerous and stupid thing to do; but he had the cojones to pull it off. When it comes to doing something before ever thinking about it we win hands down and usually we end up paying for it in the end.

Someone once said, ~Men are like a fine wine. They start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.~ We may be grown up and matured, but on the inside we're still little kids at heart. Personally speaking, I'm 27 years old and I still get excited whenever I hear the ice cream truck roll around. For we will still make up secret handshakes, have burping contests, pull practical jokes, do prank phone calls, play video games into the wee morning hours, and says and do stupid things. Though idiotic it may seem, it's a guy thing and in the end you gotta love and accept us for being who we are.

Apple Of Your Eye

Robert Frost once said, ~How many apples fell on Isaac Newton's head before he took the hint? Nature is always hinting at us. It hints over and over again. And suddenly you get the hint.~ In some aspects, a woman is like an apple growing from it just waiting to be picked. It can be frustrating for a woman as she contemplates why the right guy hasn't come along to pick her. Oftentimes when one thinks she is going to be or about to be picked, her expectations lead from hope to disappointment. For the disappointing experiences a woman can have will subsequently make her assume that all guys are immature, moronic, egotistical jerks which is absolutely true, for the most part...but not all guys.

In any case, some guys are just afraid of climbing up because when he stands at the base of the tree and looks up, his fear will start to kick in. A fear, in which he might slip and fall hard to the ground below as one attempts to reach from for that one beautiful apple. It's that mentality that not all guys have, which can have a guy not want to reach for the absolute best of the bunch. It's from that mindset that a guy will metaphorically kick himself in the butt for not risking life and limb to climb to new heights for love. For that particular guy, in the back of his mind, will always wonder if he had at least tried harder. Maybe he wouldn't care how high the apple tree is and he would be at the top in a heartbeat.

Essentially, a guy settles for the apples that have fallen on the ground. In a way, if a guy chooses that particular apple, he is settling for second best. It's these apples that have fallen on the ground that don't seem to have any blemishes on them on the outside, but on the inside they're completely rotten depending on how long it's been on the ground. For as the saying goes, ~It's easy pickings hold true~ as some guys just don't want to make the effort to climb straight to the top which is a sad situation indeed. One just has to put into consideration the type of guy that would rather settle for second best and not climb up which would lead him to that one absolute flawless apple.

Inevitably, every apple at the top of the tree tends to think there is something wrong with them as they wonder why guys are completely passing up a good thing. It's not always the case because in reality, it's not the woman's fault. In fact, it's that particular guy's fault and his own stupidity. It's that stupidity which makes a guy fall head over heels from a woman over and again for the wrong apple, in a manner of speaking. It can really turn a woman bitter and completely give up on the male species. For when a guy falls, he will fall hard and the injury he suffers to his heart will heal with time. Undoubtedly, the apples at the top of the tree are truly amazing and with time and patience she will one day be picked by the right guy?

In retrospect, when it comes to picking the right apple, guy or girl, you have to ask yourself a couple of questions such as: Will that person be able to make me laugh? Will that person be able to keep a smile on my face? Will that person like me for just being myself? Will that person be everything that I ever wanted and more? All perfectly good questions that will be answered in due time and each of us will have answers to those questions ourselves when one meets that right person. As said before it's a matter of having patience because the right person will come along for each of us; for when that person finally arrives that particular guy or girl will absolutely be the apple of your eye.

The Ties That Bind

Erica E. Goode once said, ~Sibling relationships...outlast marriages, survive the death of parents, resurface after quarrels that would end any friendship. They flourish in a thousand incarnations of closeness, distance, warmth, loyalty and distrust.~ The bond between siblings is a strong one because no matter how annoying one becomes he or she will always be there to have your back. Other than our best friends who would know us better than our own brother and/or sister whose initial job is to torment us or vice versa. In a way, it's like having a houseguest who never really leaves the house and although you try to get rid of that person you are stuck with him or her......unless you're an only child.

The one thing that is scary to a sibling is his or her bedroom. In some aspect, it's a safe haven where a person can express their own personality. Yet, it's hard to do that when you share a room with a brother and/or a sister that has several annoying habits and will drive you crazy. We've all at some point, in our younger days, had to share a room with a sibling that you somewhat tolerated. Being temporary or permanent roommates you find out what type of person your brother and/or sister is, which is a slob or a neat freak; somewhat compared to that popular television show The Odd Couple. It can be a comical situation as two people with totally different personalities try to coexist in a small enclosed space and hopefully not kill each other in the process.

Let me ask you this question, what type of relationship do you have with your brother(s) and/or sister(s)? Depending on how many siblings one has and the brother to sister ratio, added with that the bathroom or food situation it be considered survival of the fittest. I don't know the about the relationship between sisters, but a relationship between brothers is often filled torture and scars which result in battles that have either been won or lost. Personally speaking, my younger brother and I have had our battles, but it really hasn't come to hand to hand combat in years. It's just a matter of having respect for each other even though at times you just want to know his or her block off.

Like it's been said before, other than our friends who know us better than our very own siblings. Whether you are the youngest or oldest, it's an absolute that a brother and/or a sister will be there to cut you down to size. If you think about it, he or she can bring you back to reality when your ego can get out of hand. In a way, it's like having your very own conscience living with you because in a snap of a finger they will slap you upside the head and tell you what they really think of you, but in a loving way. Essentially, it's that same brother and/or sister that even though he or she can make one's life a living nightmare, that person will absolutely be at your side when times of strife occur.

In retrospect, when you look back at your childhood, was it a relationship of distance or closeness? Let me ask you this, when was the last time you talked to your brother and/or sister on a personal level and asked how he or she is doing? As we grow older, we tend to drift away from the one person that absolutely knows us inside and out. When each of us lose the unbreakable common bond that holds siblings together, we lose certain pieces of the puzzle that keep it incomplete and in turn, a rift is formed. Ultimately, it's the blood that siblings share and run through their veins will forever be the ties that bind brother to brother, brother to sister, and sister to sister.

Fast and Furious(1st Yodaims if 2005)

Every person feels somewhat at ease when behind the wheel of his or her car. Each of us can be in our own world as rubber meets the road as we venture off into our intended or unintended destination(s). If you think about it, each time a person gets in his or her car you have no idea what to expect when one leaves the driveway. Yet, it's that unknown that makes getting behind the wheel and putting the pedal to the medal such an adrenaline rush. In a way, it's like having that exciting feeling as one sits in the driver's seat for the very first time minus the occasional speeding tickets and minor or major fender benders that may or may not happen when one is driving.

When we receive our drivers licenses, it can be considered an absolute right of passage. A right of passage in which he or she may or may not push the limits of speed. As young kids, the view from the back seat, as well as, the passenger seat is not all that interesting or entertaining as a person tends to get cabin fever, so to speak. Looking out the window can be pretty boring after ten minutes and the only options were to either mess with your sibling(s) or fall asleep, which wasn't all that bad to do. In any case, the days of being driven to the mall, Wal-Mart, the beach, or a friend's house are over as his or her time to feel the wind in one's hair begins, in a manner of speaking.

When it comes to cruisin' a person must have the tunes cranked up to make the duration of one's car ride enjoyable. Let me ask you a question, are you the type of person who sings out loud in your car whether or not there are passengers in it? Music is essential and it's the one common denominator that each person shares though the type of music one blares through his or speakers may differ but as the saying goes, ~To each his own~. In some aspect, each of us can be ourselves as we listen to our favorite songs on the radio and/or CD. It's within the confines of one's car that our inner dork tends to reveal itself as we try to sing along with the best of our ability.

For some or most people, road rage is a part of hazards when getting behind the wheel of a car. Whether it be minimal or excessive, each of us have certain pet peeves that tend to annoy, anger, or slightly perturb a person. Personally speaking, what gets me slightly perturbed are people who leave their turn signals on and they seemingly have no idea that it is still on and blinking. Yet, one has to know because you usually hear clicking sounds but I digress before I go off on people who tailgate, which my brother does often. Ultimately, when it comes to road rage, one just has to keep repeating to one's self this phrase which comes from a Seinfeld episode which is, ~Serenity Now!, Serenity Now!~

Dave Barry once said,~The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.~ Each of us know the feeling of being a passenger as well as the driver, and when you become a passenger again it feels kind of weird not being able to drive. When it comes to driving, each of us feel we know what we are doing even though our passengers oftentimes feel like they need to write and sign a will. In retrospect, it's a fast and furious world out there where people tend to do crazy and stupid things; but in the end be safe, buckle up, and try not to drive like you're competing in the Indianapolis 500.