Only Human

Rainer Maria Rilke once said, ~ Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try not to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will them gradually, without noticing it and live long some distant day into the answers.~ Through one's travels down the road of life, a person will take a journey into one's own being and in turn, will try to find that proverbial key that will unlock specific "rooms" in one's own heart and soul that have never been completely open.

In search of the answers one seeks, a person will come to a point where he or she asks a question that one is afraid to tell himself or herself. It's those specific questions that are stored away in the back of one's mind that you never really want to answer. In a way, it's like running away from ourselves because once you come face to face, the truth will be clear as day. In some aspect, every thought that has crossed my path, either intentionally or by accident, has been a Yoda-ism that told the truth in my own unique perspective on life. It's these truths that, in a way, have somewhat brought me closer to the key that will hopefully unlock all the doors to my questions.

Consequently, what you read can mentally captivate and stimulate one;s mind, as well as one's own imagination. For it can give you a sense of what is seen through my eyes; yet it can be seen through every person's eyes as well. Every word, excluding the quotes, come from a place that I look deep within and that is my heart and soul. It's in these two places that I seek solace in and consider it a comfort zone, which I have slowly ventured out of when I share pieces of myself with you. If you think about it, there is essentially a deep wisdom in the thoughts that I write and then send out; though one may not sense it, you can somehow feel it by way of its emotional aspect.

One such emotional aspect is the feeling of love and/or unrequited love. Oftentimes one's heart can play tricks with you and inevitably leads you to the person you want to be with who is simply out of reach. Sometimes, one's head and heart can be in a proverbial dual. A duel in which the head thinks who one will fall in love with; and with the heart, it knows who you will fall in love with. Every person, including myself, has gone through it and more often than not my head has gotten the better of me. For it's the schoolboy/schoolgirl crushes that can get a person absolutely nowhere leading him or her down dead ends every time; ultimately it's the one truth that I couldn't avoid facing any longer.

In any case, each of us goes through pressures in life that will bring us to different areas of emotions. I've often been able to hide my emotions, as well as, the pressures of life through sarcasm, laughter, and cynicism. It's a somewhat of a poker face that I show and working at a Youth Center one has to suppress those emotions because the kids will be affected by it. Every person comes to a breaking point where pressures of life can get the better of you. Yesterday it happened to me and I had somewhat of a meltdown; in a way it revealed an all important truth. In retrospect, that truth is that a person can have that perception of being invincible; but when the pressures of life catch up to you, it shows that each of us are, of course, only human.